Social Casualness, Everybody's An Active Extrovert

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starkid
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11 Apr 2015, 1:27 am

I was just looking through a few profiles on a dating site, and it occurred to me that few people post specific things about what sort of relationship they want (in terms of both friendships and relationships). Sometimes they don't even describe the sort of personal qualities they like.

I don't understand the point of having any sort of social profile if they are going to be so generic about it all. It seems they could achieve similar results by relying on chance to meet random people in the streets, especially since (this is another strange thing I've noticed) nearly EVERYONE professes to be outgoing and interested in outdoorsy activities. What's up with that? Why would so many allegedly outgoing people even bother meeting people online?

The casual approach makes me feel out-of-place because my profile is rather specific about what I want. I'm open-minded about different personal traits and life circumstances of the people who might contact me, but I have a clear, concrete and specific idea of how I want to relate to them and which traits are necessary.



Outrider
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11 Apr 2015, 2:06 am

I think on websites people only mostly describe their own qualities and rarely what they want in others.

Sometimes people might be unaware of just what they want in a friendship as well. I honestly just want a supportive, friendly, tolerant, and loyal friend who likes me just as I am, and I will be a supportive, friendly, tolerant and loyal friend back to them.

But I agree people do seem vague about it.

For instance, look at what I just said then. How many people do you see on social media actually say something like that?

"I am looking for friends that are supportive, friendly, tolerant and loyal, and I will be back to them".

I agree with your argument.

People need to be clear about what they want in a friend/partner.

Because we all want different things.

Some people might be okay with having the really sarcastic type friends, some people might not be able to stand someone who uses lots of sarcasm.

Some people might want friends that aren't afraid to mess around with each other, other's might consider them mean-spirited or unfriendly...

With the everyone's an active extrovert, I'm not sure what you mean by that.

Which kind of websites are you referring to anyway?

OkCupid or similar dating sites?

Because I can't go on there because I'm under 18 but I still see photos and stuff like that and yes it very much does look like the kind of website where people 90% boast about their own qualities and only rarely ever comment on what they want in other's.

I think, by 'NT Rules' it kind of does make you look less attractive. By this I mean that if you mention your own qualities and then say "I prefer women who are X, who look like X, etc." you look picky and maybe even judgemental, no matter how realistic your demands might be...



starkid
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11 Apr 2015, 2:27 am

Outrider wrote:
With the everyone's an active extrovert, I'm not sure what you mean by that.

I mean that there are a LOT of people who say that they are outgoing and enjoy outdoors activities (such as hiking).

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Which kind of websites are you referring to anyway?

OkCupid or similar dating sites?

Yes. OkCupid and Plenty of Fish.



Shoggothgoat
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11 Apr 2015, 4:46 am

Saying that you like outdoor activites is supposedly some sign of living a healthy, active and exciting lifestyle. I think it is supposed to be attractive as some sort of status symbol. It is as I understand a very common lie in the dating world. Yes, that does make no sense whatsoever to lie about.