If you could stop being an Aspie - would you?

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My mind works on theories - something which being an Aspie intensifies.
I re-invent the wheel, do weird experiments on myself and generally ... do not fit.

Most theories end up don the gurgler.
Some spark another and another. Occasionally, rarely they pay off. But not very often.

Well - I devised a new theory on Aspies. I even devised an experiment which might - just might - fix the problem.
This was not a "fantasy day dream" and a "what if."

If the theory worked - and my experiment worked, I would cease to be an Aspie.

I sat there - frozen. freaked out. What would happen if I tied it and ... it WORKED? Who would I be?
It would be like taking a gun and shooting yourself in the head - changing your very way of thinking.
And you were the one pulling the trigger.

Scary as all heck. What would happen if this REALLY worked?
In some ways, it would be a death.

You see - being an aspie gives a lot, as well as takes a lot.
It is not all bad.

My question to you is simple. If you were in the situation where you had a sure fire "fix" to the condition - would you take it up?

Remember, I had a low probability experiment ... and I can assure you that I really did desire to wimp out.

Autism is in your brain. Your brain is configured the way it is because of your DNA. The only way you can cure yourself of autism IS by shooting yourself in the head and I do not recommend that.

You cannot will your autism away, or cure yourself of it by any method or effort. You may improve social skills with some practice, but they will always be impaired.

However, to answer the question, you are correct in your assessment that it would be a death of sorts to completely alter the configuration of your brain and eliminate half of the traits that formed your personality as you grew up.

Not only would it make you a different person, the person you are might find the new neural patterns painfully unfamiliar, confusing and overwhelming. After years of seeing the world out the window of an autistic head, the new view might be difficult to adjust to. You wouldn't have the benefit of years of childhood development to get used to the NT experience - who's to say that just being thrown into it, having never known it before, might not be decidedly unpleasant? It would surely be different, but would it be better?

Nah. I'm too old for adventures and risk-taking. My autistic brain may not be up to specs, but I'm used to it and I won't be driving this vehicle that much longer, anyway. Its gotten me this far, I can live with it another 20 or 30 years.

I wouldn't if I could. I'm saying that and I am not diagnosed, but my girlfriend (also aspie) is 98% sure I am. It's the aspergers that can give that furious drive to achievement and perfection - the latter of which doesn't exist, but I am given the opportunity to get closer to that than 'neurotypicals' - I believe that's the term. I am driven by skill progression; I find I get more out of advancing on guitar or creating great design than I would on a social engagement with people I don't hold in high accord. It may sound selfish, but hey that's me as a product of my defining characteristics.

I think I went off on a tangent, but in answer: having autistic traits has granted me the abilities of acute organisation, an excessive drive of my select interests, and a unique perspective on how I approach design problems. If I can be given that over a consistent social life, then I'd take that any day; but I do try to work hard on both.

The same characteristics of my brain that make my social skills weak, make my ability to learn and apply programming easier than most. We have unique talents, the world needs people with unique talents. Besides, unique means generally scarce, which means higher value in terms of what the person brings in the marketplace, on a team of some sort, or even in a relationship, which means you will either be appreciated or compensated handsomely for your talents (if you know how to market yourself in general). Maybe I'm a victim of "special snowflake" syndrome, but I wouldn't give up having the difficulties that I do in life so that I can be average (although in principle there's nothing wrong with being average, it's just not an attractive proposition).

It would be a temptation, but I wouldn't. I would try to learn social skills and keep the traits I like (which I am trying to do now)

It'd be nice if I had sweet social skills and maybe even a life partner and also have my special interests intact. Oh well. I guess you can't have it all.

That would be like wishing I was something I'm not. I suppose when I was younger it really hurt me that I didn't ever seem to fit in. But, I've come to realize that there is no point in trying to be something one is not.

No way, it's what makes me... me.

I love my obsessions, if I changed myself they might go away.

I have to say yes. I'd like to know what it's like not to deal with the "me" I deal with. I'm weary.

That is so hard to answer. My first guttural reaction is no, not in a million years. Same as when I get asked if I would become strait if I could. Nope. No way.

But for ASD... I have to think more about it. I can't help wondering, if I was NT, would I be more successful at this point in my life? As it is, I'm a wonderfully eccentric person with a much-valued different point of view. I love the person I am, even with the struggles. But I've been unemployed for three years, I have no job prospects and not much hope of ever successfully working in any job. I can't get SSI (probably), but I am far from 'employable.' If being 'normal' meant I would be more successful...

I still might not do it. Right now, I can't stand the idea of settling for a no-hope, dead end job just so something will pay the bills. I can't fathom the whole 'work to live to work to live to work' thing. I can't devote most of each day for most of each week to something I hate; I just can't stomach it. But that's what I see all the NTs around me doing. If I were NT, would I do the same thing? Probably. Which means I would not be any more successful in life than I am right now. So, in that case, no.

No, I would not.

tldr warning

Autism has changed who I am. My life would have been different had I of never been autistic. There's no doubt about it.

I wouldn't have the social skills challenges I have now. I was never good at small talk and I probably never will be but I have learned to compensate by finding people with similar interests. I'm not the kind of person who can sit down with you and expect to really talk unless it's something i'm interested in. I'm the kind of person who builds bonds with others by doing an activity of some sort such as playing video games or playing sports or doing whatever. Unfortunately most girls love small talk and other talking stuff but iv'e never been good at that. It's just not my natural state which is why I never really developed a relationship of any sort with women. Plus most of my interests are traditional guy things such as sports, video games, i'm into Star Wars and Superhero movies as well. Not to mention I am quite shy around people I feel uncomfortable around and I probably do come off as uninterested to some people when really I just don't what to say and how to react to what people say sometimes.


Another problem I have had which has largely been ignored by everyone is that I always feel like people are watching me and reading my thoughts. I remember in 3rd grade there was this girl I had a crush on and I always thought she was hearing my thoughts and secretly video taping me. It's been this way ever since. Whoever I develop a connection to, I can feel them in my head and it's as if they're there hearing my thoughts and experiencing what I am feeling, sometimes this is very powerful. It's as if when I think about them, i'm sending off a signal to them and I feel like they can pick up on it. Everyday I have to remind myself that it's not real and no one is reading my thoughts but some days it's harder then others. There were some days I wish people could read my mind though so they could see who I truly was but i'm glad no one can read my mind. Sometimes I can look into someone's eyes and hear voices as well, but this is only every once in a while.


Haha if I was neurotypical, i'd probably be off at college right now partying all night and getting drunk then passing out and feeling like crap the next morning. Or I would have gotten into drugs. I guess that's one good thing about being autistic.

Why would I like to stop being myself? I think that would be a crazy thing for me to wish for. I've got to be me, and that's just the way I am.

If I could temporarily be NT for a week, just to see what it's like, I would take that. Then at least I'd be able to make an informed decision as to whether or not I wanted to become NT permanently. For right now though, I'd have to say that I wouldn't want to lose my AS; it makes me a unique person, and I pride myself on standing apart from the crowd. Not to mention, my life would be so boring and empty without my special interests in it. The one thing I would get rid of if I could though, are my sensory sensitivities. I hate them, they make my life miserable and serve no beneficial function at all.

There have been many times in my life when I would have answered “yes” to this question. Mostly, these were times when I was deeply unhappy with who I was. When I no longer wanted to be me. I am not (at least currently) in that state of mind. As such, I have no desire for change.

It's like I would have to give up one thing for another. I have grown up this way. I know no different. Now if I had the ability to change from aspie to NT and back, just like superman changes to Clark Kent and back. That would be cool. But to give up who I am as a person. I don't think I can do that.

I think that the real question here is. How can we be accepted in society for who we are as people. Look at the gay's out there. Look at how much progress they made in getting their way of life accepted. As aspie's, we need to do the same thing.

Only if it meant that it would erase all of the past mistakes I made due to being an aspie. Otherwise, what's the point?