Fed up with rejection

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i have never been on a single date in my life i have aske out about 30 girls nowand all of them have turned me down but instead of just giveing up ive decided to run a poll to see what you guys and gals think i should do

Obviously you are making some horrible error in your approach. Out of 30 girls, I would expect at least a few would qualify as "desperate" and this indicates that something you do or something about you turns off even the most desperate girls.

Also, you need to stick to girls who are similar to you in the following categories: looks, wealth, education, and social status. If they are too far removed from you in any one category then you are wasting your time asking them out.

For any more advice we will definitely need more detail.

Don't ask girls out, wait for them to come to you. That's my advice.

Pretty much agree with that statement. I've been a little more fortunate than you when it comes to asking girls out, but with the hell I've gone through with every single one of them, I'll tell you straight up it's better to be single than to deal with attachments and breakups. The one girl that I did have a good relationship came to me first, and on the surface, we were the exact opposite. Let them come to you.

You said that you asked out 30 girls, and they all said no. Did you use the same approach with every one of them? If so, that there might have been something wrong with the approach, as lowfreq50 pointed out. Think about how exactly you're approaching girls. And my personal advice, be patient and aim low.

While this works, it isn't exactly advice that's easy to take, or easy to like. It has worked for me...once. While taking the proactive approach and asking may increase the rate of failure, you are left in control of the frequency. So you may fail more, but there's a higher chance that something will come out of it in a shorter amount of time.

That is true, but from all of my experiences of taking the initiative with a girl have ended in disaster (and that's an understatement). I just wouldn't recommend it for someone that hasn't been on a date yet. I imagine it would be much better to start learning the behavior of girls when they truly have at least some genuine interest in you. I unfortunately didn't do that, as I set my standards WAY too high when I was younger and blew off the "lesser-girls" trying to go for the big one. That definately ended up bitting me in the ass as I was left with nothing in the end for a while.

Well, I don't know what advice to give, because I am a girl.

So you know why the girls rejected you?

I am a girl, and I have rejected a lot of guys, and it's usually because they ask me out before I even know them. I would never go out with a guy I hardly even knew. So how are you going about asking out girls? Are they girls that you know and you think have a mutual interest? Or are you just asking girls out? Because I have literally been asked out by people I have never met before at a bus stop, or college campus...and I can tell you this is a *very* good way to get rejected

I'm so glad no guys have asked me out in real life, because I'd just reject them.

I gave up because I hate most if not all women.

I've asked three females 'out'. One was in high school - the hottest girl in my class. The second led to my only 'date' and worked out really poorly. The third was my wife; it wasn't really a date, just a spur of the moment thing - and I invited one of her friends along too; that one worked out pretty well.

On the other side, I've never really turned someone down when they asked me, but I've probably scared more than my share of women away. They often approach, and scuttle away once they talk to me for a while.

Anyhow, this feels like a 'should I stop beating my wife' question. How can I stop what I don't do?

Last edited by calandale on 22 Mar 2007, 8:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Women are so lame, why do guys persist in going out with them so much?

Yes, I think that is what he is doing. When I read his post I thought "who knows 30 girls to ask out?"

On a side note...

If I limited who I asked out to only girls I knew, I'd not have anyone to ask out. I don't understand how people go from strangers to relationships. Ever couple you see... there was a time when they did not know each other existed. So how does the transition occur if you are Not Allowed to initiate anything with strangers?

You're going about this all wrong. You should not be "fed up" with rejection. You need to learn to ignore it. You see those guys who get laid all the time and never have trouble picking up a girl? You think they bat 1000? No, the reason they do so well is because they keep trying. Something that someone told me a while back is this: When you're out looking for girls and ask a girl out and she rejects you, you don't go home and write about it on your Livejournal and vow to give up dating forever. Instead, you pick your dignity up from the floor, dust it off, and ask out her friend.

The most important thing is confidence, even the illusion of it.

You're gonna get rejected. A LOT. And a lot of the girls who say yes aren't gonna be people you want a relationship with. Unfortunately, people suck and that's even more true when you're like us. Don't wait. It might work for some people if they're exceedingly lucky, but biology and social norms dictate that you are the one who needs to initiate contact. It sucks, but you either need to play by the rules or not play at all.

And Santa_Claus, misogyny isn't cool. You're not gonna make any friends running around saying you hate women.

Aaaaand...that's my advice for today. Now that my quota is done I can go back to hating the human race. Cheers.

very true, unfortunately. i have never been asked out by a girl.