Aspie girl crushing hard on online guy, confused

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Hi, I’m 21 going on 22. I’m considered attractive by people generally, well I actually have an interview with a model agency on Wednesday and I can “pass” due to presenting as bubbly/social when the situation requires. However I was also bullied intensely at school, have diagnosed autism and chronic depression/anxiety and don’t really have much in the way of friends. People are usually surprised when I tell them I’ve never had a boyfriend and spend most of my time on my computer because they say I don’t look like that kind of person.
I met a guy on World of Warcraft recently who is 2 years younger than me, lives in Scandinavia but speaks better English than most people here, is doing an IT work placement and very into video games. I am hugely into him, like to the most ridiculous extent considering the amount of times I've spoken to him. However, I’m 99% sure I haven’t let this on at all, certainly not the extent to which I like him. I’ve been extremely careful about not showing him how interested I am or really initiating contact at all because as a teenager I was basically rejected by every guy I liked due to acting transparently weird and obsessive towards them.
This guy, I met through his friend who introduced us on WoW. When we first started talking on there he said that he didn’t have much luck with girls because they weren’t impressed by guys who just play video games all the time and I said, well I find that better than a guy who goes out and gets drunk constantly and he said, “that is why gamer girls are the way to go now ”. I then went on voice chat with him and his friend who introduced us and we stayed on for 9 hours, during this time the conversation between me and the guy I am attracted to seemed to go extremely well, I was mostly talking to him and his friend went off at a few times. I felt he was very clearly hitting on me, for example making sexual innuendos re: me and him (in a dorky joking-type way not in a creepy/misogynistic way), I would say I find something attractive in guys and he would respond saying, “oh well I’m good there” kind of thing, he said he hated people coming to his house because they tended to mess it up and I said, “well I have OCD so I think I’d be okay” and he was like, “oh my God wanna move in right now?” (Obviously I understand this is not a literal invite, but still...) He was also randomly saying stuff to me like that he thought I was a really a cool/interesting person and stuff like that. We also seemed to share a fair amount of views and interests, such as he knew one of my favourite bands that most people don't seem to know and we have similar family situations etc. I just generally thought we got on extremely well and enjoyed talking to him so much. I mentioned that I was autistic and he seemed to have an understanding of what that meant and didn't view it as a negative thing. He was just generally really sweet towards me I felt. Because we were talking all night I guess he fell asleep at some point, I was still in a group with his friend so I was like, “what’s up with *guy I like’s name*” he said he was asleep on the sofa (they were at the same house together but on different computers in different rooms) guy I like then he came back online after a few hours and messaged me saying he was really sorry he fell asleep and couldn't stay awake any longer but he hoped we could talk again really soon, I then sent an offline Skype message in response like, “That’s okay. Are you gonna be on tomorrow? Have a nice sleep anyway x” kind of regret the x but it was a heat of the moment thing and I just felt pretty much 100% sure there was a mutual interest. He then went basically offline for a week. Came back on a week later Skype messaged me “sorry sorry" and said he was in another country where he already told me his mum has moved with a boyfriend and he goes out there sometimes, obviously I’d been freaking out but I was just like, cool, did you have a nice time? He said yeah and he'd only just got back and had been travelling for 12 hours or something so was about to crash but he was acting super nice to me again, offering me advice with my computer and so on, I was like hey we should play WoW together again sometime and he said that he would right now if he wasn't so tired but definitely will do soon, I jokingly said I have new (sexy) transmog you’ll like haha and he was like I’d love to see it! I sent back a message with and he replied with . So I thought... okay... signals seem positive at this moment. He then basically goes off WoW for a week again. As in, I think he probably came on a few times but not at the same time as me and since I’m online a lot I would think he wasn't on much. After about a week I was talking to my real life friend about it and freaking out over if I did anything wrong etc. and I mentioned the guy I like's friend was on WoW (although he hadn't been on much either) and my friend was like just ask him about it so I did, was just casually like how are you and *guy I like* haven't seen you guys online recently and he was just very friendly and chilled about it and was like yeah I’ve been busy and *guy I like* was in *other country*, I was like yeah I know he told me haha but he’s back now right? him: yeah he is Me: ah okay, not online much though and he was like we’ve been playing GTA a lot and I was like ah I see, well tell him I miss him and he responded Totally (y) kind of feel like that was a dumb move but obviously I wrote it in a jokey way and at the time was feeling like I should kind of put my interest out there in an indirect/not-too-serious sounding way. I then regretted that a bit or maybe a lot because I decided to put away my computer for a bit (like a day and a half which is long for me) came back online a few hours ago and (guy I like) came online extremely briefly with another game then logged off, so we still haven't spoken.
I’ve been reading online general advice and they seem to vary between saying “just be upfront/honest and tell the guy you like him (in the sense of finding him attractive)” and “omg no that is the worst thing to do ever you will look desperate”. Obviously I’ve settled on the latter because I already kind of regret showing any interest whatsoever. I am literally obsessing over what I might have done wrong or not done or not done at the right time. Of course I’m terrified of rejection, but on one level if he just isn't interested I'd rather he just made that clear/deleted me/got his friend to communicate this to me in some way. (Although he's a cool person he's really not someone I would just want to be friends with because he's literally everything I find attractive both in terms of looks and personality and the friendzone here would just be too hard, plus I have slightly difference preferences in terms of platonic friends and I'm pretty picky about who I count as a friend/trust). At the moment I'm extremely confused.
I will add that he told me he hasn't had any involvement with girls for two years, that he considers himself to be unsuccessful with woman and said he tends to be "friendzoned" a lot. He isn't stupidly good-looking on an objective level but not ugly, he just looks like a cute/slightly emo teenager (looks young for his age and doesn't work out or anything like that). However, he clearly has a life relative to mine, given he has a huge number of friends on Facebook and similar (though he told me it's almost all people he doesn't know/I didn't actually ask he just told me this), loads of contacts on Skype compared to me and said he had “loads of girls" on his WoW friends list although he did say that he just acted like a creep by adding them and I’m not sure if he was being entirely serious. He also goes out socially and drinks sometimes which I don’t. That said, I also told him I had a lot of guys on my friends list on WoW and (jokingly) said that I used it like a dating website to pick guys up and I do have a lot of followers on Tumblr.
I’m not really asking if he likes me because I think it's just hard to say what he is playing at. I guess I just don't know what I should do? How do I chill out with obsessing over him (even if just internally)? It sucks because literally for years I've never had this problem, I've never been this crazy about a guy who I could actually interact with and stressed about saying or doing the wrong thing. I really need to just get my level of interest to a normal level, which is hard as an aspie girl. Especially given all the guides online tell you to go out with your girlfriends and focus on hobbies... I have no real life group of friends and my only hobbies are computer-based. At the moment I'm pretty much literally torturing myself freaking out about him and it just isn't good at all. I'm at a stage almost where if he did start a conversation I wouldn't know how to talk to him because I'm so anxious and concerned about saying the wrong thing.
But at the same time, on one level he could just be socially awkward and almost intimidated by me (my Skype avatar is a pretty glossy/professional-looking shot, I'm older than him although he said he likes girls slightly older) and if I don't make my interest very clear he could just write me off on that basis or forget about me in his apparent legions of girls added on WoW/Skype contacts. But then on the other hand, he could just be being excessively polite by interacting with me at all and now laughing at me with his friend and thinking WTF she's asking you about me can't she get the message?
How do I deal? With controlling/lessening my feelings to a more acceptable level and if he does talk to me how should I act to encourage positive development? At the moment my intention is just to leave it and see if he comes online and talks to me, but obviously that doesn't stop me from having huge internalised anxiety.
By the way, yeah this is very detailed, I'm like that with everything due to eidetic memory.
Also, I'm not actually *looking* for a relationship in itself or interested in dating generally, I just happen to really like this guy...

How far are you from each other?

Well, he lives in a Nordic country (would feel a bit weird sharing any specific details about him on a public forum), I live in England, but I don't get the impression that would be a reason for him not to talk to me. He said that people he interacts with online are pretty much always from English-speaking (as a first language) countries, has his timezone on Skype set to GMT, says he watches mainly American TV/films and speaks with an Americanised English accent as a result; he talks like a Scandinavian guy who's been living here for a while and he said he hates living where he does, I guess probably not helped by the fact his mum seems to have sort of left him for a guy and it doesn't sound like his dad is on the scene. I'm kind of the same in that I don't like living where I live and would rather live somewhere like where he does (probably because I've seen a few too many documentaries glamourising Nordic countries on TV) and I don't really have closeness with my relatives, plus I have money from a few sources and will hopefully have more soon if I do get with a modelling agency. I haven't actually told him this though (about my money situation etc.) because, you know, it would be kind of weird unless it came up for some reason. Even if it were a problem though, he was saying stuff like he didn't think his life couldn't get any more depressing and menial than it was (I think more in a sort of joking emo-angst way as opposed to him having clinical depression or anything similar, just based on the general impression I got of him, although obviously I could be completely wrong as with anything) so I don't know why that would prevent him from talking to me online. I'd have thought having an online flirtation/closeness would be better than nothing, given he implied to me that he didn't have any options in real life and didn't seem to have any set vision of what a relationship should entail (he told me than his only requirement for a girlfriend was that they have eyes and eyebrows and are an actual girl)?
Oh and, I'm pretty sure he is genuine about who he says he is. Looked him up online when we first spoke just out of interest I guess and to check it didn't come up as like a known Catfish or something or with him obviously having a girlfriend (has happened to me before) and he has a few YouTube accounts with videos of gaming-related stuff and similar with no likes , is on social networking sites going back a few years, no indication of girlfriend and lengthy forum posts related to video games, basically it all checks out. Plus the way in which I met him it just seems highly unlikely he wouldn't be genuine in that regard...

How long did you know each other for? You can try webcam chatting to try to get to know each other better, if you didn't already.

The obsessing part generally comes from hormones. I find what works well for me is when I feel the obsession creeping up, I tell myself to snap out of it and do a reality check that there is nothing serious to be worth obsessing over.

Well in my post I said I think, only became aware of him a little over 2 weeks ago. XD
I think the obsessing is just due to a combination of repetitive thought patterns due being autistic, attachment problems due to not having closeness with relatives/friends/having grown up with an emotionally distant sociopath mother and absent father and being bipolar, so therefore very erratic as a result. Not sure if by hormonal you mean because I'm a girl, because I'm in my early 20s or because I'm on my period or similar (lol and not the case) but to be honest as I said it's just how I am with people/things I like and always have been, which I think is quite common with female aspies especially.
I've been trying to snap out of it, it's just hard obviously because my mind keeps wondering and I don't have much of a life to distract me. As for it being serious, well I guess it seems subjective to me... to me it is somewhat serious given I really like him and I know it sounds weird but he's the first person to actually make me feel any sort of happiness for a long time, because I've been struggling with a lot of issues lately and feeling an overbearing sense of hopelessness just in general. Talking to him almost made me forget my depression and have a sort of positive feeling about life momentarily which isn't something that happens to me often at all. If he actually just told me he wasn't interested, obviously that would be hard but I guess then I could at least know where I stood and close the door on any possibility in my mind. Usually I am able to to snap out of these things mostly, though, it's just the uncertainty making it hard.
As for video chatting - I'd like to. I haven't asked him. Hell, I can't even start a conversation with him, let alone ask him to video chat with me. I'd feel like by asking I was pressuring him and might make him feel uncomfortable. My memory here is hazy but I have a vague recollection of when we first spoke (as in had known each other 5 minutes) and I gave him my Skype name so he could add me, saying in a joking-type way that he couldn't video chat because he was "too ugly" even though I hadn't asked him to, and me saying that I wasn't suggesting that anyway because I look really bad right now, no makeup etc. I think he's quite a metrosexual type guy (not in a likely-to-be-gay sense, rather one of those new age young guys who uses hair products and poses for selfies etc.) so he might just have meant he wasn't "prepared" at that time... not to mention me had only just started speaking 5 minutes before, so I didn't have to expectation we would video chat.
The funny thing is that when we first spoke I was just being super confident and upfront, just because that's how I am when in "social mode" with random guys and I had no specific interest in him/was just chatting with him and his friend for something to do. Then I saw his picture on Skype and (shallow me) was like... he is just completely my type physically (which isn't necessary what is considered conventional male attractiveness) didn't expect that... then the more we were talking I was just finding his voice so attractive and his kind of energy as a person was totally getting to me. By the time he was acting all sweet towards me I was just like.....
So then my social anxiety kicked in big time and I was struggling to actually talk to him at all. Then since he basically went AWOL on me the anxiety went up to insane levels and my confidence with regards to the situation went down to about zero and was replaced by a lot of creeping doubts...

By hormones, I mean oxytocin in social bonding, also a feel good hormone. Men and women have it. Its funny, I was just reading the wiki article about it and apparently it may have something to do with autism too...

Anyway, I think in this case you should email or message him where you know he will receive it, saying you want to just play a game or chat with him. Then depending on how he responds, you'll know if there is any mutual interest there, which might help with stopping the obsession.

Limerence is a hell of a drug.

Ever been crushing on someone so much that you feel like you're high all the time just thinking about them? That's called limerence aka lovestruck. That actually happened to me pretty recently. I fell for this cute girl in one of my classes and I was obsessed over her for 2 months and I was smiling all the time and listening to sh***y love songs

Long story short, it didn't work out because I was too god damn shy to actually approach her and talk to her and not to mention my social skills are complete s**t so I can't have a half-ass decent conversation with girls I like. Listen, if you like someone, then god damnit you have to go talk to them and be persistent too. Because getting rejected is much better then not talking to your crush and you never seeing them again. That s**t has happened to me time and time again i'm tired of that f*****g s**t man. I really am. Iv'e had enough of it.

Sorry for my rant, I recently just found out my crush i'm obsessing over is moving to a different state so I will never see her again.

Ugh, well I guess the problem is I feel like I've been pretty clear already, even if I did message him just asking him to play/talk there's a likelihood he will respond sounding interested again and then not actually follow through at all. And I feel like the more I initiate the more it just seems one-sided which in turn makes me freak out more about him laughing at me/finding me annoying/just being polite by talking to me, I mean hell I basically told his friend to hit on him on my behalf, sure the message could have not actually been passed on but if it did you're gonna at least talk to someone, either to show interest back or brush them off right? Or just delete if not but not just completely do nothing unless you're just completely oblivious. Of course, he hasn't actually been online on WoW or Skype at all and only extremely briefly on another game, but still...
And then comes the question... what reason would I give? Besides just being honest at least in terms of my intentions like I really enjoyed talking to you when we spoke and find you kind of attractive based on your photo and just wanna know if you'd be interested in getting to know each other better... just being like WANNA TALK, WANNA PLAY WITH ME, especially when I feel like I've already opened that window... it just feels like flogging a dead horse or whatever they call it (and I'm struggling now to think of how I would actually talk to him, like I ask him to talk to me and then what? Sit around struggling for anything to say and/or rambling stupidly?)
Sending any sort of confessional message (however non-committal and not-letting-know-that-I'm-being-obsessive and relatively short) just seems like it would be hugely against social protocol given I've only known him for less than 3 weeks.
darkphantom - I've been trying really, really hard not to do that with this guy. As in I avoid looking at his Facebook or similar (not least because of possible opportunities for paranoia to set in) but I've still been acting dumb and thinking about him obsessively, although the thoughts sort of go between giggly "love"struck infatuation and being intensely depressed that he hasn't made an effort to talk to me/that in my mind he would probably reject me if I made any sort of move on him. And I'm sorry for what has happened with your crush.
I think even if this guy does know I'm ASD and has a reasonable understanding of what that means, he seems to not be aware a) how hard and fast aspies can fall for someone especially at any hint of interest b) how confusing it is for someone who struggles to have social cues and relationships to have someone act interested and then randomly not talk to them for a week

You don't have to give a reason, just a simple request. If he has at least average common sense he will get the hint (its how NTs do it anyway). Although, from his interaction with you, it does not seem like he is too interested. He might also be ghosting or maybe he's a commitment phobe.