Are you able to control your emotions?

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CockneyRebel
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09 Sep 2018, 5:08 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Sometimes I still lose control over them because I have anxiety. I can control them for the most part but I have my limits.


That's the same for me.


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09 Sep 2018, 5:29 pm

I do not have trouble because I comprehend the fact that self-control of one's THOUGHTS affects one's emotions. I am not in any treatment because I do not need any. You need to practice keeping bad thoughts OUT.

«The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the opportunist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.»

existentialterror wrote:
Anyone else have trouble controlling emotions? Also, are you in treatment and if so, are you able to benefit from it?


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09 Sep 2018, 7:28 pm

Three years ago, when I'd first answered this question, I'd said I was trying meditation. As it turned out that was a big failure as my mind just absolutely refuses to slow down or empty out enough for me to concentrate. As far as emotions go I can still be pretty stone faced even others are crying over some issue or laughing at another.



Dragonet
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11 Sep 2018, 10:09 am

For me control means to suppress or hide emotions you don't want to be shown. That process needs a lot of energy to be done and finally you get overwhelmed or burnout. And, for sure, the emotions you hide do not disappear, they remaing close to you waiting an oppotunity to arise again, maybe as a headache, badmood, sickness....

I have done this for years, eons I guess. Nowadays I still suppres most of the emotions by sometimes I try not to interfere with the process of the emotion in course. I try to be present, to observe it, go with it, let it express....

Let me admit that it is easier to tell than to do, but really, sometimes works and the emotions pass trough and vanish.



youcameandchanged
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13 Sep 2018, 6:12 am

Sad to say, but I think of getting angry in public as part of my individuality. I've been wanting to get in touch with my real self again, but reality is getting in the way. Some parts of my individuality are indeed wrong to act on. For context, I only learned how to sort of control my temper in my early teens and how to actually control my temper in my late teens. When you learned how to do something past your single digits but before adulthood, it's usually in the cusp of being in between something being second nature and something being a thing you have to force yourself to do, which means that to an extent, it's second nature for me to control my anger but to an extent, it isn't. For context, people used to want me to change everything about myself. I tried to, but the real me was way too strong and after four years or so of pretending to be someone else, I wanted to get back to my real self. I have a black and white mentality and to me, it's either I be my real self all the way or feel fake. Sad to say, but I guess the haters won in the end, I have to be fake in order to please others.



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13 Sep 2018, 8:31 am

Always had trouble dealing with negative emotions. Tend to get too upset, and then tend to overreact. Not good. Gradually got better at controlling them, but will never have full control all of the time. Fortunately, as I've gotten a lot older, I seem better able to deal with the negative stresses in my life. Part of what helps is that I now live alone. Living with others was simply way too stressful, and kept causing meltdowns. Another help is that I tend to avoid stressful situations as much as possible now. Because my health issues put me out of the workforce, and because I now live alone, that is now possible for me to do most of the time. When I do have to go out, I know that when the excursion is over I will be able to go back to my solitary existence, in my own home, so that helps me cope better with the stresses I face when I am away from home.

Give yourself some time to mature, and you will probably get better at handling negative stress, too. Also, don't beat yourself up over this. We on the spectrum have very real neurological processing problems which cause the problems we have with social issues, physical sensitivities, health issues, and all the other issues caused by being on the autism spectrum.


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youcameandchanged
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13 Sep 2018, 10:57 am

Maybe, but it was a wasted opportunity that I learned how to control myself when my personality was already halfway set.



youcameandchanged
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13 Sep 2018, 1:51 pm

youcameandchanged wrote:
Sad to say, but I think of getting angry in public as part of my individuality. I've been wanting to get in touch with my real self again, but reality is getting in the way. Some parts of my individuality are indeed wrong to act on. For context, I only learned how to sort of control my temper in my early teens and how to actually control my temper in my late teens. When you learned how to do something past your single digits but before adulthood, it's usually in the cusp of being in between something being second nature and something being a thing you have to force yourself to do, which means that to an extent, it's second nature for me to control my anger but to an extent, it isn't. For context, people used to want me to change everything about myself. I tried to, but the real me was way too strong and after four years or so of pretending to be someone else, I wanted to get back to my real self. I have a black and white mentality and to me, it's either I be my real self all the way or feel fake. Sad to say, but I guess the haters won in the end, I have to be fake in order to please others.

The way I see it, by not agreeing with every single thing I think, reality is letting the haters win.



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13 Sep 2018, 2:33 pm

Yes. I have analysed my negative emotions. The process is:

1. a negative emotion arises (that may happen to anybody)

2. in my world time does not exist, there is only a present which will last for eternity in my mind. Hence the negative emotion seems to me a permanent situation which feels like has always been there, and will last for ever (in my head)

3. I am conscious of my problem above, so when the negative emotion is coming I try very hard to remember past good moments and feelings, or imagine a good outcome or better future. The other problem is that I have aphantasia and zero imagination, so it is simply impossible for me to picture a good memory, or feel a past good feeling.

4. so I am like stuck in the bad feeling until a good feeling arises and replaces the negative one... no control at all.



youcameandchanged
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14 Sep 2018, 7:23 am

youcameandchanged wrote:
Sad to say, but I think of getting angry in public as part of my individuality. I've been wanting to get in touch with my real self again, but reality is getting in the way. Some parts of my individuality are indeed wrong to act on. For context, I only learned how to sort of control my temper in my early teens and how to actually control my temper in my late teens. When you learned how to do something past your single digits but before adulthood, it's usually in the cusp of being in between something being second nature and something being a thing you have to force yourself to do, which means that to an extent, it's second nature for me to control my anger but to an extent, it isn't. For context, people used to want me to change everything about myself. I tried to, but the real me was way too strong and after four years or so of pretending to be someone else, I wanted to get back to my real self. I have a black and white mentality and to me, it's either I be my real self all the way or feel fake. Sad to say, but I guess the haters won in the end, I have to be fake in order to please others.

Like, ideally, I would be as much of a feckless c**t as possible, and I'd do pretty much everything I wanted. But because reality doesn't allow me to do that, it's letting the haters win.



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15 Sep 2018, 12:48 pm

Places are bouncing back emotions to me.



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15 Sep 2018, 4:35 pm

I’ll never be able to control my emotions as well as someone who is neurotypical can, but I‘ve made incredible strides in my ability to control them. It’s been years since I’ve had a meltdown that involved crying. I’m 25 and the last time I cried during a meltdown was when I was 19. I’m getting better and better at apologizing, staying in control of my emotions, which is no easy feat because I also have ADHD so I also have to control my energy levels. I’m good now at controlling my emotions. I have some improvements to make and I don’t think I’ll ever be fantastic at it but I’ve come along way.



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16 Sep 2018, 2:13 pm

Ban-Dodger wrote:
I do not have trouble because I comprehend the fact that self-control of one's THOUGHTS affects one's emotions. I am not in any treatment because I do not need any. You need to practice keeping bad thoughts OUT.

«The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the opportunist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.»

existentialterror wrote:
Anyone else have trouble controlling emotions? Also, are you in treatment and if so, are you able to benefit from it?


Thanks Ban-Dodger, I believe that indeed, it must be possible to control your thoughts. (even without the use of sophisticated technologies you referred to before)

I have concentrated on letting in only nice emotions these last days and it works good without any training.
The most difficult stuff is, to my opinion, to be conscious that bad thoughts are coming in. I really have to decide to concentrate on this. This consciousness may be the first step to be able then to reject the negative thoughts and chose better ones?

You can't however avoid every single bad emotion, but you can at least reduce them.



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16 Sep 2018, 8:06 pm

Yes I am able to control my emotions.

In the fight-or-flight response, the objective is to get away from the source of threat. All of our muscles prepare for this escape by increasing their tension level, our heart rate and respiration increase, and our whole basic metabolic system is flooded with adrenaline. Blood is diverted to the muscles, away from the viscera. The goal is to run away, or if we feel that we can't escape or if we perceive that the individual that's trying to attack us is less strong than we are, to attack them. Or if we're cornered by a predator—in other words, if there's no way to escape—then we'll fight back. Now, if none of those procedures are effective, and it looks like we're going to be killed, we go into the shock state, the tonic immobility. Now the key is that when people get into this immobility state, they do it in a state of fear. And as they come out of the immobility state, they also enter a state of fear, and actually a state in which they are prepared for what sometimes is called rage counterattack. For example, you see a cat chasing a mouse. The cat catches the mouse and has it in its paws, and the mouse goes into this immobility response. And sometimes you'll actually see the cat bat the mouse around a little bit until it comes out of the immobility, because it wants the chase to go on. Now, what can happen is that the mouse, when it comes out of the immobility state, goes into what is called nondirective flight. It doesn't even look for where it can run. It just runs as fast as it can in any direction. Sometimes that's right into the cat. Other times, it will actually attack, in a counterattack of rage. A mouse who was captured by a cat came out of the immobility and attack the cat's nose. The cat was so startled it remained there in that state of shock while the mouse scurried away. When people come out of this immobility response, their potential for rage is so strong and the associated sensations are so intense that they are afraid of their own impulse to strike out and to defend themselves by killing the predator. Again, this all goes back to primordial animal traits.

The ability to control your emotions is wrapped into your ability to release the stress stored in your body chemically and to bring your body back to balanced state. This should be done in a controlled manner so that your body is not overwhelmed in the process.


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17 Sep 2018, 1:11 am

I've had problems controlling my emotions a lot as a kid & in my 20s. I think some of that was due to stress of skewl, work, & parents on my back aLOT. I also fell into a psychotic depression at 20 when my 1st realtionship fell apart. I'm doing alot better nowadays. I have a girlfriend that I'm living with who's also on the spectrum. It also helps that I'm on the rite psych meds; anxiety med, OCD med, antidepressant, & antipsychotic.


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ziulmota
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21 Sep 2018, 5:59 pm

ziulmota wrote:
eric76 wrote:
ziulmota wrote:
Same as you because I have autism (I was diagnosted with autism in 2000 in Ithaca, US) I'm unable to control my emotions and my feelings is too strong specially when women refuses a hug or a kiss and this makes me exalted, furious and stressed which lead me to punching a girl, yelling at her and threatening to take her phone and break or factory reset that phone or take her money. also social isolation is bad and I have social isolation because girls and women don't like me because they don't understand my situation because they don't know me very well

I'm on a treatment but currently I was not able to benefit from a treatment with my psychologist or medication. and my age (19) is one of the contributions to my childish behavior and when I was 14 I cyberstalked iJustine (I was not technically a cyberstalker because I was only 14 years old and I was only exhibiting a childish behavior very common to some people at this age) and underage boys or girls with autism are more likely to exhibit childish behavior in a manner that a people like iJustine think or see you as a cyberstalker/stalker when in reality is not because they do that by accident due to their age (14) and when I was 14 I didn't know that cyberstalking is a crime at the time (some 14 years old boys don't know stalking/cyberstalking laws in california or any other US State due to their age or country of residence) and in my country (brazil) I was below 18 (Age of criminal responsibility in my country not sure of age of criminal responsibility in California where iJustine lives because I can't find on DuckDuckGo which is an anonymous search engine on the internet the age of criminal responsibility on california) so I could not be prosecuted for crimes here in brazil at the time. only if I commited a crime here in brazil when I was 14 (when in reality I did not) I could only be apprehended which is not the same to be arrested and then forwarded to FEBEM here in the state of Rio Grande do Norte

So please check out my thread here: http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=283809 so you can see my situation and fear of being arrested in US if I come to US or iJustine to accuse me as a stalker if I see her on the street or at the meetup (I will tell her that it was an accident because I was only 14 years old and I didn't understand anything about her and California Cyberstalking/Stalking laws)
In the United States, minors even younger than 14 are sometimes arrested, certified as adults, and stand trial just the same as if they were an adult, but that's usually for more serious crimes like murder or manslaughter.

So why are you obsessed with iJustine? Or with Khloé Kardashian? Who is Jenny?


I'm bumping this thread for a reason: I told you lies and I'm no longer obsessed with Justine and Khloé Kardashian

Also I'm immune to US Criminal/Immigration laws (the immunity is NOT absolute of course) because I do have a document issued by a Joint of doctors of Rochester Hospital and my father told me that I will NOT be denied entry to US, Deported (except for working, studying or profiting including: using Bitcoin Faucets while in the US on a Tourist Visa) or arrested for ANY crime (except Murder, Fraud, Theft, Solicitation of prostitution, Operation of an unlicensed money transmitting business or any other crime that is extremely serious or not committed because of my mental health situation) so please STOP being like people who tell you lies like: Reasons to Stop Watching TV and Benefits of Reading a book okay? unfortunately in my case, my father is the only person who is able to give me GOOD advice to me. so any advice given by ANY person other than my FATHER is BAD advice (at least in my case) this includes telling me to study, Stop Watching TV, Read a Book, Telling me to NOT come to the US (for fake reasons according to my father's advice) and telling that I will be Denied Entry, Deported from the US or even Arrested for ANY crime (when in fact according to my father's advice these things will NEVER happen) and personal development advice (in my case and according to my father's advice, Personal Development is a lie) so please be warned and please don't reply this post disagreeing on what I told above and my father's advice okay? thanks


Correction since I can't edit the post after other people replies this thread: I'm still immune to solicitation of prostitution laws, Operation of an unlicensed money transmitting business, etc etc... as long if I'm accompanied with my father which is the ONLY person who is responsible to my actions regardless of my age since I'm a person with special needs and because I do have a document issued by a joint of medical and legal professionals in Rochester hospital. therefore my father is the ONLY person who can be arrested, charged and convicted of ANY crime in the US (unless if I'm NOT accompanied with my father. otherwise my father is the ONLY person who is responsible to my actions as long if my father shows the document issued by a Joint of medical and legal professionals in rochester hospital. I'm saying this according to my father's advice so please DON'T reply telling that my father is giving me bad advice because it isn't. okay?) since my father is the ONLY person who's responsible to my actions because of the document okay? Thanks