Conditioned to be loud???

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People always yell at me for being too loud. But when I try to lower my voice and someone is across the room, they get mad and yell because they think I am not responding to their commands and whims, when in fact I am only trying to conform to their standard of me being "too loud" and therefore trying to be quiet for them.

I have the same problem, only I find it hard to talk at a lower volume. The reason is because in my head, the pitch of my voice sounds normal. Yet, to others... it sounds loud. I've actually had a teacher get mad at me for it. I told her about this, and she called me a liar instead. >____> I think it's a normal thing for people on the spectrum (I'm not an aspie).

Seems like you aren't fully aware of how loud or quiet you are. Might not be able to change that unless you like, walk around with a decibel meter or something silly.

I think I was conditioned to be quiet, in fact I remember my mother was very intolerant to my noise. I don't feel able to raise my voice even to be audible above background noise, I just stop talking and don't start again until the noise has gone away. Noise shatters my concentration.

But I sing loudly and love to perform loud rock music. I guess it's something to do with knowing I have permission to be loud.

I also remember a few times when I've raised my voice when in humorous banter with colleagues at work. it was always fairly short-lived though, I would soon realise what I'd gone and done, and quietened down again. I think it's because I was focussing on the social challenge and overlooked the volume regulator, and because of enthusiasm.

We used to have a teacher who would end up shouting when he was saying things he was really interested in. Some of us used to find it really funny.

I get really loud when I don't think I am and I feel that people think I'm trying to yell at them.. just the look on their face at least says that? I associate it with disgust, that strangely skewed expression.
I also can't whisper, if I manage to I basically can't hear myself and then I mess it up because I change it so I can hear my voice. It doesn't work out that well.

Always told to be quiet, or made fun of to the point of me staying quiet, so I was silent mostly as well growing up.

People say I either talk too loud or too quiet. There's no in between.

I often talk too loud when I'm feeling happy and outgoing, and too quietly when I'm feeling introverted and down, which unfortunately is most of the time.

Long ago I buried my resentment that it is society and not I which determines how loudly I must carry my voice, but it won't stay dead.

I'm the opposite. I've always been quiet since I was born. I just can't seem to raise my voice. Always been painfully shy, too. Every single school report says I speak too quietly when I do speak, which of course was pretty much never. I'm also hypersensitive to sound so when I do try and raise it it just sounds too painfully loud to me so I stop after a second.

My entire family is loud.

When I first stayed over at my partner's he had to tell me to be quieter multiple times as we had great conversation (not during sex :-p) I do it with him though too, ask him to be quieter, granted usually only when he's like, right beside me. I think he's gotten used to me getting louder or either is not so concerned about the...properness anymore so might not notice it.

Any slight irritation/anger and I get loud too, and I choose to control this not by regulating my voice but the underlying emotions.