Why is it so hard for NTs to accept a Special Interest

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ZombieBrideXD
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14 May 2015, 9:23 pm

AngelRho wrote:
The simple answer is NT's are fine with special interests. They do this all the time. We're not THAT much different.

The difference between us and them is that while we both are always looking out for #1, residents of NT-land are more apt to embrace human connectedness, the principle that what benefits us all will ultimately benefit us as individuals. They learn quickly that human beings are born not for ourselves, but for the whole world. We aspies, on the other hand, fail to see the point of putting the best interests of others ahead of our own. And not that NT's are perfect either. But generally the way people relate to each other is first understanding the depth of human selfishness and then acting to satisfy the needs and desires of others. Look at the most popular, wealthy, powerful, and influential people out there and you'll see people who are EXCEPTIONALLY good at delivering what people want.

Apply same to your Sonic the Hedgehog interest. Don't ask "what harm does it do anyone else?" Rather, ask "what good does it do anyone else?" If your Sonic preoccupation benefits no one but yourself, people will view it as a useless waste of time and energy.

Now, turn that around. Take your Sonic preoccupation beyond the game. Are you blogging about Sonic? Are you posting YouTube vids, walk-throughs, other instructional/informal web content? If you do that, are you REGULARLY releasing new content and running ads on them? Are you organizing Sonic-related gaming events in your area? Do you attend gaming conventions or Sonic conventions specifically, or if those don't exist, do you organize them yourself? Do you trade Sonic-related merchandise for profit, make/sell costumes for Sonic-related cosplay? Write/publish fanfic? If you do any number of those things, NOW you're taking it beyond a preoccupation and framing it as a service to others who share your interest. You fill a need or desire. NT's can relate to that. Now, they may not accept that as something that's legit, but nobody HAS to. I don't consider Windows to be a legit operating system, but so what? If you're out there building a business around a video game character, helping people with like interests, and you're doing better and have more freedom than MBA's who can't get out of their mothers' basements, or even 30-year wage-slaves, then people are ultimately going to respect you and think you're some kind of twisted genius.

I'll be honest here…I'm only now catching on myself. I'm a musician, part of a sub-culture that has always lived among the chronically poor. At one point I ran in some fairly prestigious circles in my area, and then times changed, things went sour with jobs, etc. People in charge of the non-credit program at the community college where I work dropped the ball and I'm down to ONE student, whereas my competitors are doing well. I ended up taking care of a 3-year-old full-time to cut daycare expenses. So, all in all, I'm potty training and feeding the little one, which leaves a VAST amount of time during the day. When I finally chose to stop feeling sorry for myself, I came to realize there are other musicians out there, all over the internet, and they've either been where I am or they're there right now. So I made a point of writing and producing music, sharing it through social media, and connecting with other musicians and fans. Then something weird happened…my views on YouTube went from barely over 100 views/month to, as of today, just over 600. My future plans are to gauge what people are listening to and start delivering content for licensing in hopes of making some REAL money so I can do a much better job helping more people than I can at the moment. I'm not really trying to attract attention to myself. That's just a consequence of helping people out.

Focus your preoccupation in such a way that it benefits others, and you'll be amazed how differently people respond to it (and you).



That's quite the point of view, thank you for your Imput I hadn't thought of it that way, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a tad defensive and ill own up to that. I agrees that I think people would be more accepting of my Special Intrest if I were doing something with it and benefiting others. But then it wouldn't be a special interest, it would be a job. My Interest is for me and me alone, i appreciate and actually LOVE sharing it with another person, like a friend or something but I have the interest to deflate, in other words, I use it to shut other people out, it's my secret world just for me, and I'm fine with that, but I also acknowledge that others still won't be accepting to it, and it still may bug me and make me feel a bit guilty but I can't help myself, they can hate it if they want, I just wanted to know why they hated it, but thank you for your Imput


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Obsessing over Sonic the Hedgehog since 2009
Diagnosed with Aspergers' syndrome in 2012.
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 severity without intellectual disability and without language impairment in 2015.

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AngelRho
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15 May 2015, 4:24 am

ZombieBrideXD wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
The simple answer is NT's are fine with special interests. They do this all the time. We're not THAT much different.

The difference between us and them is that while we both are always looking out for #1, residents of NT-land are more apt to embrace human connectedness, the principle that what benefits us all will ultimately benefit us as individuals. They learn quickly that human beings are born not for ourselves, but for the whole world. We aspies, on the other hand, fail to see the point of putting the best interests of others ahead of our own. And not that NT's are perfect either. But generally the way people relate to each other is first understanding the depth of human selfishness and then acting to satisfy the needs and desires of others. Look at the most popular, wealthy, powerful, and influential people out there and you'll see people who are EXCEPTIONALLY good at delivering what people want.

Apply same to your Sonic the Hedgehog interest. Don't ask "what harm does it do anyone else?" Rather, ask "what good does it do anyone else?" If your Sonic preoccupation benefits no one but yourself, people will view it as a useless waste of time and energy.

Now, turn that around. Take your Sonic preoccupation beyond the game. Are you blogging about Sonic? Are you posting YouTube vids, walk-throughs, other instructional/informal web content? If you do that, are you REGULARLY releasing new content and running ads on them? Are you organizing Sonic-related gaming events in your area? Do you attend gaming conventions or Sonic conventions specifically, or if those don't exist, do you organize them yourself? Do you trade Sonic-related merchandise for profit, make/sell costumes for Sonic-related cosplay? Write/publish fanfic? If you do any number of those things, NOW you're taking it beyond a preoccupation and framing it as a service to others who share your interest. You fill a need or desire. NT's can relate to that. Now, they may not accept that as something that's legit, but nobody HAS to. I don't consider Windows to be a legit operating system, but so what? If you're out there building a business around a video game character, helping people with like interests, and you're doing better and have more freedom than MBA's who can't get out of their mothers' basements, or even 30-year wage-slaves, then people are ultimately going to respect you and think you're some kind of twisted genius.

I'll be honest here…I'm only now catching on myself. I'm a musician, part of a sub-culture that has always lived among the chronically poor. At one point I ran in some fairly prestigious circles in my area, and then times changed, things went sour with jobs, etc. People in charge of the non-credit program at the community college where I work dropped the ball and I'm down to ONE student, whereas my competitors are doing well. I ended up taking care of a 3-year-old full-time to cut daycare expenses. So, all in all, I'm potty training and feeding the little one, which leaves a VAST amount of time during the day. When I finally chose to stop feeling sorry for myself, I came to realize there are other musicians out there, all over the internet, and they've either been where I am or they're there right now. So I made a point of writing and producing music, sharing it through social media, and connecting with other musicians and fans. Then something weird happened…my views on YouTube went from barely over 100 views/month to, as of today, just over 600. My future plans are to gauge what people are listening to and start delivering content for licensing in hopes of making some REAL money so I can do a much better job helping more people than I can at the moment. I'm not really trying to attract attention to myself. That's just a consequence of helping people out.

Focus your preoccupation in such a way that it benefits others, and you'll be amazed how differently people respond to it (and you).



That's quite the point of view, thank you for your Imput I hadn't thought of it that way, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a tad defensive and ill own up to that. I agrees that I think people would be more accepting of my Special Intrest if I were doing something with it and benefiting others. But then it wouldn't be a special interest, it would be a job. My Interest is for me and me alone, i appreciate and actually LOVE sharing it with another person, like a friend or something but I have the interest to deflate, in other words, I use it to shut other people out, it's my secret world just for me, and I'm fine with that, but I also acknowledge that others still won't be accepting to it, and it still may bug me and make me feel a bit guilty but I can't help myself, they can hate it if they want, I just wanted to know why they hated it, but thank you for your Imput

Only natural to feel defensive. I understand, and I think I tend to come across as combative. TOTALLY not what I mean to do.

One question, though: What is so bad about making a special interest into a job? Why can't you have both?

In my experience, I was always sold on the idea of "artistic integrity." It's about being true to yourself, doing what YOU want to do, and who cares about anyone else. Well, that's great if you run in academic circles. I woke up one day without a job, no money, no friends, homeless, and very little music to show for it. Things got a lot better for a little while, but over about the last 2 years it's been a steady slide right back to where I started. So late last year I was thinking about this a lot and realized how much of an idiot I'd been. My attitude was always "I can't make music if I don't make any money from it," knowing full well that people don't just give you money and say "hey, go make music." Catch-22. So I never wrote anything. And then it occurred to me, hey, I have all this time. If I'm not doing anything else, why not make some music? If people listen, they listen. If I get paid, I get paid. If not, then not. And I haven't had a dull moment since November.

The point is I DO understand you do this for YOU. It's a private thing, just like writing weird electronic music is a private thing for me. There's a reason I'm not on Facebook yet and why I go by AngelRho online! But I'm finding that it's easier to justify to others what I do with all my spare time if I make it more about them than about me. And it's been an even bigger thrill for me finding an online audience. It's inspiring. I've never written so much music, spent so much time on the internet, and ended up thoroughly exhausted and SATISFIED at the end of the day. If you want to keep this Sonic thing private and avoid other people, fine. I work in isolation most of the day myself--well, and the 3-year-old. But what you end up finding is there's a niche for everything. You take your SI 24/7 and you might be surprised what you can do with it.

Glad I could help, and I'll spare you any more essays! (And see if you can guess my other special interest. :lol: )



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15 May 2015, 12:48 pm

AngelRho wrote:
The simple answer is NT's are fine with special interests. They do this all the time. We're not THAT much different.

The difference between us and them is that while we both are always looking out for #1, residents of NT-land are more apt to embrace human connectedness, the principle that what benefits us all will ultimately benefit us as individuals. They learn quickly that human beings are born not for ourselves, but for the whole world. We aspies, on the other hand, fail to see the point of putting the best interests of others ahead of our own. And not that NT's are perfect either. But generally the way people relate to each other is first understanding the depth of human selfishness and then acting to satisfy the needs and desires of others. Look at the most popular, wealthy, powerful, and influential people out there and you'll see people who are EXCEPTIONALLY good at delivering what people want.

Apply same to your Sonic the Hedgehog interest. Don't ask "what harm does it do anyone else?" Rather, ask "what good does it do anyone else?" If your Sonic preoccupation benefits no one but yourself, people will view it as a useless waste of time and energy.

Now, turn that around. Take your Sonic preoccupation beyond the game. Are you blogging about Sonic? Are you posting YouTube vids, walk-throughs, other instructional/informal web content? If you do that, are you REGULARLY releasing new content and running ads on them? Are you organizing Sonic-related gaming events in your area? Do you attend gaming conventions or Sonic conventions specifically, or if those don't exist, do you organize them yourself? Do you trade Sonic-related merchandise for profit, make/sell costumes for Sonic-related cosplay? Write/publish fanfic? If you do any number of those things, NOW you're taking it beyond a preoccupation and framing it as a service to others who share your interest. You fill a need or desire. NT's can relate to that. Now, they may not accept that as something that's legit, but nobody HAS to. I don't consider Windows to be a legit operating system, but so what? If you're out there building a business around a video game character, helping people with like interests, and you're doing better and have more freedom than MBA's who can't get out of their mothers' basements, or even 30-year wage-slaves, then people are ultimately going to respect you and think you're some kind of twisted genius.

I'll be honest here…I'm only now catching on myself. I'm a musician, part of a sub-culture that has always lived among the chronically poor. At one point I ran in some fairly prestigious circles in my area, and then times changed, things went sour with jobs, etc. People in charge of the non-credit program at the community college where I work dropped the ball and I'm down to ONE student, whereas my competitors are doing well. I ended up taking care of a 3-year-old full-time to cut daycare expenses. So, all in all, I'm potty training and feeding the little one, which leaves a VAST amount of time during the day. When I finally chose to stop feeling sorry for myself, I came to realize there are other musicians out there, all over the internet, and they've either been where I am or they're there right now. So I made a point of writing and producing music, sharing it through social media, and connecting with other musicians and fans. Then something weird happened…my views on YouTube went from barely over 100 views/month to, as of today, just over 600. My future plans are to gauge what people are listening to and start delivering content for licensing in hopes of making some REAL money so I can do a much better job helping more people than I can at the moment. I'm not really trying to attract attention to myself. That's just a consequence of helping people out.

Focus your preoccupation in such a way that it benefits others, and you'll be amazed how differently people respond to it (and you).


I'll gladly sub you on YT if you tell me your YT handle :D :D :D :D :D :D



slave
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15 May 2015, 12:54 pm

AngelRho wrote:
ZombieBrideXD wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
The simple answer is NT's are fine with special interests. They do this all the time. We're not THAT much different.

The difference between us and them is that while we both are always looking out for #1, residents of NT-land are more apt to embrace human connectedness, the principle that what benefits us all will ultimately benefit us as individuals. They learn quickly that human beings are born not for ourselves, but for the whole world. We aspies, on the other hand, fail to see the point of putting the best interests of others ahead of our own. And not that NT's are perfect either. But generally the way people relate to each other is first understanding the depth of human selfishness and then acting to satisfy the needs and desires of others. Look at the most popular, wealthy, powerful, and influential people out there and you'll see people who are EXCEPTIONALLY good at delivering what people want.

Apply same to your Sonic the Hedgehog interest. Don't ask "what harm does it do anyone else?" Rather, ask "what good does it do anyone else?" If your Sonic preoccupation benefits no one but yourself, people will view it as a useless waste of time and energy.

Now, turn that around. Take your Sonic preoccupation beyond the game. Are you blogging about Sonic? Are you posting YouTube vids, walk-throughs, other instructional/informal web content? If you do that, are you REGULARLY releasing new content and running ads on them? Are you organizing Sonic-related gaming events in your area? Do you attend gaming conventions or Sonic conventions specifically, or if those don't exist, do you organize them yourself? Do you trade Sonic-related merchandise for profit, make/sell costumes for Sonic-related cosplay? Write/publish fanfic? If you do any number of those things, NOW you're taking it beyond a preoccupation and framing it as a service to others who share your interest. You fill a need or desire. NT's can relate to that. Now, they may not accept that as something that's legit, but nobody HAS to. I don't consider Windows to be a legit operating system, but so what? If you're out there building a business around a video game character, helping people with like interests, and you're doing better and have more freedom than MBA's who can't get out of their mothers' basements, or even 30-year wage-slaves, then people are ultimately going to respect you and think you're some kind of twisted genius.

I'll be honest here…I'm only now catching on myself. I'm a musician, part of a sub-culture that has always lived among the chronically poor. At one point I ran in some fairly prestigious circles in my area, and then times changed, things went sour with jobs, etc. People in charge of the non-credit program at the community college where I work dropped the ball and I'm down to ONE student, whereas my competitors are doing well. I ended up taking care of a 3-year-old full-time to cut daycare expenses. So, all in all, I'm potty training and feeding the little one, which leaves a VAST amount of time during the day. When I finally chose to stop feeling sorry for myself, I came to realize there are other musicians out there, all over the internet, and they've either been where I am or they're there right now. So I made a point of writing and producing music, sharing it through social media, and connecting with other musicians and fans. Then something weird happened…my views on YouTube went from barely over 100 views/month to, as of today, just over 600. My future plans are to gauge what people are listening to and start delivering content for licensing in hopes of making some REAL money so I can do a much better job helping more people than I can at the moment. I'm not really trying to attract attention to myself. That's just a consequence of helping people out.

Focus your preoccupation in such a way that it benefits others, and you'll be amazed how differently people respond to it (and you).



That's quite the point of view, thank you for your Imput I hadn't thought of it that way, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a tad defensive and ill own up to that. I agrees that I think people would be more accepting of my Special Intrest if I were doing something with it and benefiting others. But then it wouldn't be a special interest, it would be a job. My Interest is for me and me alone, i appreciate and actually LOVE sharing it with another person, like a friend or something but I have the interest to deflate, in other words, I use it to shut other people out, it's my secret world just for me, and I'm fine with that, but I also acknowledge that others still won't be accepting to it, and it still may bug me and make me feel a bit guilty but I can't help myself, they can hate it if they want, I just wanted to know why they hated it, but thank you for your Imput

Only natural to feel defensive. I understand, and I think I tend to come across as combative. TOTALLY not what I mean to do.

One question, though: What is so bad about making a special interest into a job? Why can't you have both?

In my experience, I was always sold on the idea of "artistic integrity." It's about being true to yourself, doing what YOU want to do, and who cares about anyone else. Well, that's great if you run in academic circles. I woke up one day without a job, no money, no friends, homeless, and very little music to show for it. Things got a lot better for a little while, but over about the last 2 years it's been a steady slide right back to where I started. So late last year I was thinking about this a lot and realized how much of an idiot I'd been. My attitude was always "I can't make music if I don't make any money from it," knowing full well that people don't just give you money and say "hey, go make music." Catch-22. So I never wrote anything. And then it occurred to me, hey, I have all this time. If I'm not doing anything else, why not make some music? If people listen, they listen. If I get paid, I get paid. If not, then not. And I haven't had a dull moment since November.

The point is I DO understand you do this for YOU. It's a private thing, just like writing weird electronic music is a private thing for me. There's a reason I'm not on Facebook yet and why I go by AngelRho online! But I'm finding that it's easier to justify to others what I do with all my spare time if I make it more about them than about me. And it's been an even bigger thrill for me finding an online audience. It's inspiring. I've never written so much music, spent so much time on the internet, and ended up thoroughly exhausted and SATISFIED at the end of the day. If you want to keep this Sonic thing private and avoid other people, fine. I work in isolation most of the day myself--well, and the 3-year-old. But what you end up finding is there's a niche for everything. You take your SI 24/7 and you might be surprised what you can do with it.

Glad I could help, and I'll spare you any more essays! (And see if you can guess my other special interest. :lol: )


A truism~~~ "Life rewards ACTION and punishes the unwillingness to ACT."



AngelRho
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15 May 2015, 4:19 pm

slave wrote:
I'll gladly sub you on YT if you tell me your YT handle :D :D :D :D :D :D

It's just angelrho. And thanks!

http://www.youtube.com/user/angelrho

Back in the day I cultivated this odd sort of gregarious internet presence. I got really serious about my studies, life got intense, and I abandoned my IRC habits (apparently most people have). When money was still good and I could afford internet, I frequented Second Life live performances but never could navigate the tech side of giving performances myself. I pretty much lost any good opportunities I had to really make a name for myself online, so for me, navigating my way around YouTube and G+ is kinda my way of battling back. I'm not 100% sure I've really found my niche; however, I'm at a point at which anything is better than nothing. Over 600 views in a 28 day reporting period is HUGE for me. I haven't actively campaigned for getting subs--I figure I really just need to work on getting content out there and get used to sharing what I have so far. I've succeeded in getting two videos out every week since April and I'm dangerously close to running out of material. For now, I'm measuring success by my ability to stay busy rather than counting views or subscribers. On the other hand, the numbers are sweet! I never expected that.

And it goes back to my tl;dr on what I think the OP should work towards. Nobody expects special interests to really explode like that, but it's possible. It will eventually grow beyond your capability as a single human being, and you can't ignore the OP is really just not a people person. I'm perfectly willing to find someone else to bring on board to help me with this stuff if that happens. I'm already collaborating on someone else's project and have had other people request something. With some imagination and willingness, the OP could probably do some amazing stuff. And that's not my decision to make.



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16 May 2015, 12:32 am

AngelRho wrote:
slave wrote:
I'll gladly sub you on YT if you tell me your YT handle :D :D :D :D :D :D

It's just angelrho. And thanks!

http://www.youtube.com/user/angelrho

Back in the day I cultivated this odd sort of gregarious internet presence. I got really serious about my studies, life got intense, and I abandoned my IRC habits (apparently most people have). When money was still good and I could afford internet, I frequented Second Life live performances but never could navigate the tech side of giving performances myself. I pretty much lost any good opportunities I had to really make a name for myself online, so for me, navigating my way around YouTube and G+ is kinda my way of battling back. I'm not 100% sure I've really found my niche; however, I'm at a point at which anything is better than nothing. Over 600 views in a 28 day reporting period is HUGE for me. I haven't actively campaigned for getting subs--I figure I really just need to work on getting content out there and get used to sharing what I have so far. I've succeeded in getting two videos out every week since April and I'm dangerously close to running out of material. For now, I'm measuring success by my ability to stay busy rather than counting views or subscribers. On the other hand, the numbers are sweet! I never expected that.

And it goes back to my tl;dr on what I think the OP should work towards. Nobody expects special interests to really explode like that, but it's possible. It will eventually grow beyond your capability as a single human being, and you can't ignore the OP is really just not a people person. I'm perfectly willing to find someone else to bring on board to help me with this stuff if that happens. I'm already collaborating on someone else's project and have had other people request something. With some imagination and willingness, the OP could probably do some amazing stuff. And that's not my decision to make.


subbed :D