Needing help

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Hi everyone, I am having serious problems with my college and people around me in general. I had been diagnosed as having aspergers and I can read and write, I also tested to have a high "perceptual reasoning" skill in an IQ test. Most people perceive me as being high functioning or having no disability at all, but there are so many things I'm struggling with that they don't notice on the surface.

I made an application for disability support at college and was supported by a psychologist. However things started to go wrong and in the past few months and I became extremely confused. I was told many illogical things that made no sense to me. People still talk to me in a non-literal way that I don't understand most of the time. I worry constantly and cry every day because of this and I try to find a way to explain but no one listens, because they have strange thoughts about me. When I ask for things to be explained properly to me, people generally think I'm trying to waste their time or trying to get attention. I had many meltdowns and argued with staff and counsellors. I used to have someone who cared for me but he does not wish to talk to me any more. They think as long as I'm handing in assignments and they could pass me then I'm fine. My psychologist contacted the school and now she also doesn't believe the difficulty I'm experiencing, and tells me to deal with it myself. I feel so lost and hopeless and people don't care!

I feel horrible and I am a burden to everyone around me. My mum thinks I'm taking my dad's retirement funds by not having a job. I often wish I'm not alive any more but I'm holding onto some hope that things will be better... I wish I had a visible disability so people actually see that I'm having trouble. Will these things ever get better? Is there a way to make them understand? Please help I hope someone can reply to me

Your school is required by law to provide accommodations for documented disabilities; they are violating your rights by not giving you what you need. Is there any way you could get back in contact with whoever diagnosed you and ask them to help? My diagnostic report had a list at the end of all the services that would benefit me, does yours make any mention of academic assistance? Providing the school with that may be helpful. If you don't currently have a list, can you get an abbreviated evaluation by someone who would be able to prescribe the accommodations you need?

Specifically what sort of help do you need? Are you handing in assignments on time, but know you could do substantially better with more time? Do you need more time or just a quiet space for exams? Or is it non-academic related, such as problems with dorm rooms or classroom sensory problems? It may be that the counsellors can't see why anyone who is doing good academic work would need help, and need it spelling out for them. At any rate, know that we here are supporting you!

Thanks so much for your response!

It started with me having some confusion with the rules at the school and asking the support manager a few months ago. But then he refused to discuss properly with me, I went to the school counsellor and she told me that I shouldn't expect the school to understand me. She also put weird thoughts into my head such as that the school staff don't care about me and they are only there to make money. Things got bad from here and there were a few times meetings that were cancelled suddenly, and they were unhappy that I asked for clarification for things that were unclear to me, I feel like I'm not allowed to ask and I feel so stressed and anxious all the time.

The manager also refused to discuss with me about these problems and said he is not responsible for my general well being. It seems they don't understand how the conflicts are affecting my ability to do work...

My psychologist has written a letter which asked for "answering questions, provide clear information and literal language use" plus a few other things, and even spoke to the manager about these issues, but the school still seems not willing to assist properly. She recently seems to be convinced by the school that I am just asking questions for attention. Basically there is too much confusion with what's going on and things changing all the time, I became fixated on the problems and can't focus properly. I'm also upset now I feel everyone looks down on me because of my meltdowns and I'm having a bad relationship with the manager and staff in general

Is this making sense? Am I asking for too much from the school to be clear with information?

This is what happens when you cannot communicate properly. No one is seeing your disability as badly as it actually is.
Don't lose hope.
Yes they should clarify.
Try even just printing out your posts in this thread and handing it to them.

You might not be able to complete your tasks properly if your confusion leads to meltdowns, since it seems likely you will be confused a lot.

If your lack of understanding is getting worse than it has been, you might be developing some new mental issue that you didn't have before.

What country is this in? If it's in the US, this sounds like a violation of the ADA. http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/disability/ada.htm

You can file a claim here
http://www.ada.gov/filing_complaint.htm

(I'm not in the US, sorry if I'm wrong)

This is probably a last resort if it can't be resolved. I think, again I don't know. I think I saw a thread about doing this 2 years ago, I can't remember it very well.

How are your grades?

The reason being, the staff is sort of right. Supports are academic supports. Meaning if what is put in place is helping get you acceptable grades, that is all they owe you.

It sounds (from your post), you are also dealing with anxiety/depression or something else that might have cropped up. Is there any way you can make a CONCISE list of concerns and have someone go with you to disability services? Having a second set of ears helps. You maybe so overloaded that you may not actually hearing exactly what they are saying. My husband does this because of his anxiety. He misses a good 50% of what is being said when he is stressed.

What are three things right off the bat that are bothering you with school? No more than three senctences. If you are like my husband, he would write a dissertation on those three things. No one will read that.

Maybe your university is a pack of morons. That can happen. Maybe they did tell you and for whatever reason you couldn't process it. Maybe this particular school is a bad fit.

If you can distill down what is bothering you, we can give some suggestion.

Hang in there!

Yah I have had a similar issue especially when I was younger people just stopped making sense and I was just confused. These days the only time I get that bad is when I need to talk to financial aid it is like they are speaking another language. People are a confusing species, and as far as the whole disability not really showing much I get that completely I seem high functioning to most people however they don't see me when I am at my worst, and that is because I don't let them see me like that. Why would you allow people to see you when you aren't at a point where you can communicate. So because they don't see you when you are having an issue they assume you don't have one. There are times when you can't help it I mean I had a huge issue where stress was causing my shoulders to twitch which affected me horribly in high school, which is really when people wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Granted I acted odd sometimes but I am a weird person and I like that about me. Hopefully you will find the help you need and things will become manageable again for you.

I was able to pass my subjects but I know I would have done much better, and enjoyed my time much more if it wasn't for these problems...

I'm feeling very depressed at the moment and very frustrated too.
I had previously given them a letter in point form, stating clearly what would help, they first agreed, then ignored it completely.

If I made a list of 3 things they would be:
1. They don't explain things/communicate in a way that I can understand well, and would be annoyed if asked to clarify.
2. They would do everything to avoid discussing any issues so I continue to have trouble.
3. Some staff are assuming things about me such as "being attached to the school and trying to get attention by asking questions" and pick on me for no reason.

I hope you can see I'm not having that much trouble with language so it is probably the non verbal and non literal stuff that I'm not getting. Any suggestions?

And yes, they aren't making any sense to me at all and my anxiety is getting worse... I just feel like going back into my own world and not talk to anyone any more