I'm back here, not doing too well...

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Well, it's been a long time since I've been on here.

I'm getting a divorce from my abusive ex. He decided to leave me right before my first semester of college last year. I ended up withdrawing from both Fall and Spring semesters, despite having good grades.

I will now have to move back in with my mother, who is extremely abusive.

I need to change my major to nursing instead of engineering for various reasons.

I'm in a new relationship with someone who lives in another country, and he also has extensive mental health issues. And even though I love him and things are better now, he still has hurt me a lot, cheated (emotionally a bit), etc.

My eating disorder is worse again. I feel like my emotional problems (including the borderline traits that I once talked about here) are kind of overshadowing any progress I made and my aspie side. It's killing me. I just want to learn, be independent, have 1 or 2 people in my life, and that's it.

I feel weak and like I have to start over. I'm about to be 24. All of my plans are gone. I make so many plans, they are rational, and I have dozens of backup plans just in case. I hate change. This is just so much change for me...

I had to get rid of my most friends in my life, aspie or not. And now I am stuck here trying not to commit suicide.

I cannot maintain friendships. I can barely maintain relationships, but I can't be alone either. I want to fast forward to a time where I am alright and I can just suck in information and avoid humans.

Hi, remember me? I'm sorry you're dealing with all this...I'm still here if you want/need someone to talk to.

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LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

bleh12345, if you're reading this, I hope you have it in your heart to talk to me. As I said, sorry for what you've gone through lately.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

You need to see a shrink to find out why you pick losers to date. Your abusive ex is a loser, and the one in another country is another loser--one who is just trying to use you. Dump this creep. Also, don't move in with your abusive loser mother. If you can't afford even a room somewhere, go to a women's shelter for a while. They can help you get on your feet. They should be able to help you find a good shrink, too. You are definitely living out a pattern of picking losers. The foreign guy doesn't love you, he loves having a chance to get money, and maybe a green card out of a fake relationship with you. And for that matter you don't love him. You just don't want to be alone, and like having a guy in a foreign country fawning over you, but his fawning is fake. Neither one of you really knows the other. For all you know, he could be a violent criminal, or married. Stop mooning over this fake relationship, and get a grip on yourself. Before you partner up with anyone again, you need to learn to live an independent life on your own for a while,--at least a year,-- and you need to break the habit of picking losers to hang around with. So get some help from a shrink, and maybe a women's shelter. If the shelter can't help you, contact your local welfare office. They may be able to help you find a place to stay, but there is likely to be a long waiting list, so I still think the shelter is a better bet, if you can't afford at least a room someplace. You said you have been going to college. Why don't you go as a resident student. Even if you can only afford to attend part-time, you should be able to get a room in one of the dorms. You may even be able to get a job on campus, to help pay for your tuition. Look into all your possibilities, and stop chasing after these losers.