do you get upset when people joke around

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Do you ever have people joke around with you in ways where it's almost like bullying. I.e. people will shove, or lightly kick you at work or say things, that are mean like yoir retarted but do so with a smile- in a supposidly joking way? When they do that, do you get almost or just as upaet as if people were doing it seriously to actually be mean. With me I find that to be the case. It's almost ad if the line that separates seeing something as a joke or not is blurred or not there. I'm wondering if that is like that with you too? How do you handle these kinds of situations.

I do myself a lot honestly

Yes.

It bothers me too.

It bothers me more when I try to indicate that I am hurt or upset by the joking, and people shift from "joking" teasing to what looks more like angry, defensive, self-superior justification of their hurtful behavior. They act like I'm only upset because I can't take a joke, don't have a sense of humor, am overly sensitive and/or have a "double standard" (apparently because my goofing around sometimes offends people too, and if you ever accidentally offend people you forfeit your right to be offended by the goofing around of others? Idk).

So I'm always in the wrong.

Either I'm wrong because I was trying to be silly and make a joke and my joke was hurtful, or I'm wrong because I allowed other people's silly teasing joking to hurt my own overly sensitive feelings. It's always about me.

Um, no, it's not. I feel bad when I hurt other people's feelings. I feel bad when other people hurt my feelings. I feel bad when I perceive a group of people who seem to me to be hurting a third party's feelings. I even feel bad sometimes when I hear other people laughing and joking around and I don't know what they're joking about. Somehow I always feel like there must be a butt-monkey in the center of all the unknown joking around, so anytime I hear people laughing, I assume that someone is in the middle of it getting their feelings hurt.

Hubby and daughter were joking around on Mothers' Day, making funny noises and having a friendly teasing argument about the Chinese words daughter had written on the card she made me. Hubby was pretending to make fun of the language, and daughter was pretending to be offended by the stereotypes, calling it racist and all that. They were both just having a laugh. But I backed away, because to my stressed-out mind it was barely distinguishable from a real conflict and the emotional and sensory input was on the edge of overwhelming. At the lull in the laughter, I said "are you done?" because if they were done, I could go back near them and smile and hug daughter and thank her for the card.

Hubby got all upset with me, because he thought I was saying that they shouldn't laugh and joke and have fun because it upset me. I see why it seemed that way. But I was not able to explain to him that I was able to cope with them doing it, I just needed to distance myself from it while it was happening, but wanted to participate in whatever came next. Because I hoped what came next would be thanking daughter for the card, telling her how cool the cutout pattern was and how proud I am of her learning Chinese and Asian art and calligraphy in school and how pleased I was with the card and stuff. But I didn't want to try to do that while they were having their friendly silly teasing (for them fun) argument because it caused cognitive dissonance for me. I was okay with them doing it together. I just wanted a turn to talk when it was done, and didn't want to have it start back up right in my ear when I went over to give daughter a hug and thanks for the card.

So noisy joking around can kind of upset me even when I'm not the butt of the joke. It can make me uncomfortable because the sounds make me feel the same emotions that I do when I am the butt of the joke. I don't want to stop people from joking around and having fun--unless there is a real person really getting hurt by it. Because then it's not a joke; it's bullying.

ifinlove, I think what your co-workers are doing isn't just friendly teasing and joking around. I think it is harassment and bullying, and especially if you are autistic and they know it they are doing it on purpose because they don't understand the whole truth about autism. Some people think autism is the same as mental retardation; some people think it's okay to call people "ret*d" for acting different. But it is not okay to lightly kick or shove people at work, call them ret*d and say they were only joking. They are being aggressive and disrespectful, I think, and trying to marginalize you so you will feel like the low-man on the totem pole indefinitely. If your workplace has a Human Resources Representative you should talk to that person about it. Even if they do mean it in a friendly-joking way it is not affecting you like friendly banter, it is causing you distress and maybe it's detrimental to your work performance. If it makes you uncomfortable and impacts your job performance it should be stopped.

YES. If it's someone I know well and it's in such a context that I can expect it, then I don't mind it so much, but when people do it unexpectedly, it really pisses me off. People have often chided me for this, and when I try explaining to them that I don't take jokes well, they just don't seem to get it.