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graduate122
Blue Jay
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Joined: 29 Dec 2014
Age: 41
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16 May 2015, 1:27 pm

It seems like a lot of people on here are frustrated when people want them to come to events and intrude on their "alone time." While I have experienced this issue as well, does anyone else have the problem of wanting to go and do stuff and being unable to make friends. It seems with everyone else it just happens, but not with me. Either something about me, other than Aspergers, is more dislikeable, or I have a more severe case. I have had a few friends here and there throughout my life, but I am seldom if either the first one or even the third one called to hang out.



BirdInFlight
Veteran
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16 May 2015, 2:13 pm

Although on aggregate I've spent more time in my life with the first problem (wanting to be left alone), I have had times in my life where it was flipped around and I actually desired to be included and invited, and felt lonely when I wasn't.

It was during a chunk of my life when I was feeling more social though, and I've recovered now. :wink: :lol: Just kidding!

But no, I know what you mean. It can feel frustrating to feel like you do want friends and invites but you haven't managed to get close enough to the people you know, to get those invites. The best you can do is keep being friendly, maybe think up something to invite them to first, even if it's just coffee or lunch or to "watch the game" if that's anything you're into -- whatever casual, fun thing you can think of -- and it may start to get reciprocated.



graduate122
Blue Jay
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Joined: 29 Dec 2014
Age: 41
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16 May 2015, 2:35 pm

I've had the first problem too, don't get me wrong. And I have had friends on some occasions, but a lot of times people I know (usually I work with them) will have things and never include me. They will notice, on occasion, it bothers me, ask me what's wrong, and when I tell them, include me in something, just to make me feel better, but never do it again after that.



yondoloki
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 13 May 2012
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17 May 2015, 3:43 am

I don't get invited to a lot of things either. However the paradox is that I'm often too stressed out to deal with social interaction, so no big deal right? but I want to be social. So often when I finally get an invitation, my first thought is mostly "just leave me alone, dammit! Stop pestering me!" :oops: it's weird to want to be social but don't want to be social.... yea it doesn't make more sense to myself than others....


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