Rants

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My mom has been yelling at me and insulting me all day, probably so I get so stressed out and exhausted that I can't handle going to the doctor tomorrow. I have to talk to him about my mental health and going to therapy, and she is most likely trying to prevent me from being able to mention the trauma I have since it involves her. Ironically, this behaviour is part of it.

When the dishwasher is going so your child carries two stacks of glass drinking glasses into the kitchen, each stack three glasses tall (total 6), and the top glass of each stack has an inch of chocolate milk inside, and they're supposed to rinse all dishes and leave them in the sink until the dishwasher is available but they turn their back and the 11 month old kitten jumps on the counter and knocks both stacks of glasses onto the stone floor and then jumps off the counter into the glass because the noise scares them, so your other dog and cat run to investigate as you stand there in bare feet and then you can't sweep or vacuum because the entire room and the adjoining room are coated in 50 trillion invisible shards of glass but also soaking wet with chocolate milk that looks like blood when you try to mop it up, and meanwhile you think your kitten has injured her paws but you can't check because you're busy getting the dog and cat out of the room and stepping on broken glass which is all over the floor mat, in the dog bowls, on the counter top, and all over the place coated in chocolate milk and then you need to get the animals out and track the milk / glass all over the house a little more, and then go back and try to mop again but the floor ends up wet so you can't remove the shards until it dries and you wash the mat and put big pieces of glass in the recycle bin from under the sink but now there's chocolate milk all over the papers that were already in there and it becomes a sticky nightmare with glass on top, and you get that outside and get the old dishes out of the dishwasher and put the recycle bin in there but then the broom and mop are also coated in hell but they don't fit in the dishwasher so you do those in the sink and keep wet mopping glass around the house hoping that it will eventually dry and you'll be able to sweep them up, but then you discover you have glass in your own foot and all sorts of bits of glass stuck on your feet so you have to wash your feet in the kitchen sink so that you can even leave the room to get the mat from the washer to put in the dryer, but you climb on the counter and sit on more bits of glass, and stick your feet in the sink and when you turn on the water you forget that the tap is on the boiling hot setting from when you attempted to mop the floor, and thus you burn the skin off your feet with the glass in them, and now you have no drinking glasses.

The End.

The human race should burn down and die.

Not really a rant, just saying how I'm feeling right now.

I am in a dark place. A dark, lonely, desolate place. It is cold, gloomy and lonely. The sky is constantly grey but no rain. The temperature is cold, and it is foggy. There is some light, but that is coming from a corner that leads to the minds of all the happy people around me, but this dark, damp, lonely, desolate place has me trapped and I can't escape. All I can do is look through the gap into the happy world. In the happy world there's motivation, socialising, friends, money, fitness, normality, laughter, happiness. But this horrible place I'm in right now won't let me go from its claws. It is keeping me here. Hopefully it will let me free tomorrow but right now I'm trapped. I want to be back in the happy place with all the happy-go-lucky neurotypicals that are able to make friends, go clubbing, go to the gym, work 60-80 hours a week and not be mentally exhausted.

I hate myself.

I feel like crying i am so exhausted from trying to please everyone. I can't ever take a break in this house i am always being triggered by something. I hate this house especially when there is more than 6 people in such a small place. I was even scared that my tics will come back because of how anxious i was. I feel like i am losing my control.

Thanks to about less than flipping half of my state being vaccinated, we’re starting to go back to flipping masks. Cmon people!

the virus was almost contained, then some "football tourists" brought it back from a neighbouring country.

Not having a good day, and the week before was hell.

I have been looking forward to my cousin's graduation party for a month, but it probably won't happen because of my aunt's stupid big dog. My aunt is taking a trip to God knows where, but can't bring her dog because he bit two people, including my stepdad. He's not rabid, but he couldn't come regardless. As a result, my mom has to spend a whole week at her house, and is scared that the dog is going to bite her.

I really wanted to go to this party, but my aunt won't be home until this afternoon, meaning that it's likely I can't go after all. My stepdad isn't going, and I can't drive because I am afraid to, due to my ex driving like a maniac and getting into multiple accidents; I'm scared I might do the same, especially by accident.

And now my bird is holding me hostage, because he won't be quiet unless he sees a person, and I am the only one in this house right now. I know my late step-uncle means well, but sinced the bird was willed to us, we can't get rid of him. So I am spending most of my time in my parents' room, because it's adjacent to the bird cage. I swear to God, this bird acts like f***ing Caillou (Caillou is a fictional character who throws tantrums on a daily basis) and squawks 90% of the time, and doesn't speak much except for "Ackarak".

So yeah, that's why my week sucked. I can't wait to go to Pennsylvania (for a family reunion) next weekend, so I won't have to deal with the stupidity of other people in my life!

Been watching this guys content and I feel like I jumped into the deep end of the pool and don't know how to swim.

Dear me:

Go the **** to sleep, you ****ing ****. Now.

the idea that you can change yourself

all that gas, if only that could be used usefully

ofcourse, letting happen is always your fault
abusing weaknesses is never the abusers thing, you just asked for it

& there's always duality in everything,
but how many time do you give up everything
i was often suggested to suicide but that's where i refuse,
that's what you get from that, pretention little b

a horse is a horse ofcourse

autoplay into "i show em who'se the brains of this outfit"
- quote of the day

I hate Google and YouTube. Google is full of useless outdated information or it comes up with the results you aren't looking for. YouTube has become a money grabbing zone where they outsmart you in watching their sh***y ads because they panic when you have found a way to bypass their ads so you don't have to watch them. And the only way you might not have to watch ads is if you pay for the YouTube app, which I bet doesn't take away the ads completely, and they'd probably keep rising the fee every few months.

I feel like punching the people in the ads that appear on YouTube. Especially where there's a beautiful woman with a really strong American accent. And that's another thing - beautiful women. I hate beautiful women that make YouTube videos! You search for an ASMR video of someone making noises with objects (like scraping and stuff), but it usually turns out to be a 20-year-old girl with absolutely perfect hair, thick makeup and long, painted nails, staring at the camera wearing almost nothing and making sure they get their half-exposed tits in the camera. Yuk! And then those videos get f*****g age restricted! Just dress with dignity and do your video, not every viewer is a horny man, a lot of us are straight women that just want to listen and watch the ASMR. And don't whisper for f**k sake! One time I wanted to fall asleep to interesting facts in videos that last longer than 30 minutes, and all what came up were videos of some girl whispering the facts. I hate whispering! Argghh! I'd just love to appear in their video and punch them.

I hate how abusive, unacceptable behavior is tolerated by people as long as they can get something in return. Everybody's out for themselves. We've the capability to be a moral, just society but almost nobody seems to try to live up to that potential. This species is bloody disgraceful.