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KaylamiYarne
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22 May 2015, 6:48 pm

Sachorus27 wrote:
I am usually okay forming what I want to say in my head but actually verbalising it is a different matter..I find it easier at work where I am full of preprogramed responses to common questions but if a customer or anyone outside of a professional setting suddenly starts small talk or a conversation I can no longer form fluent sentences, my face starts to twitch and I often fail at saying some words entirely. It can be very draining and I often feel quite inadequate.


I have the face-twitch problem as well...what is that? It's worse for me when I try to smile so I look down often.



Judas
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23 May 2015, 6:43 am

I can imagine this must be very frustrating. As for myself I'm rather comfortable speaking in front of large audiences, provided I know what I'm talking about or can make it appear so. However I sometimes trip over a word here or there, but not that often.
I'd like to know how common this is and what causes it in some.



Judas
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23 May 2015, 9:05 am

Sorry for the dubble post, I have no bleeping idea how to edit posts. Anyway, I find that reading books, listening to audio books helps. I catch myself studying how people like Steve Jobs, Jfk, and others speak an how they move while holding a speech. I highly recommend Napolion Hills How to win friends and influence people and DR Haha Lungs Mental dominance, if you're able to obtain a copy. Hope this helps.



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23 May 2015, 2:30 pm

During a typical day, I have few reasons to talk at all, so this is not a problem for me.
Sometimes, people want to talk to me, but I don't want to talk, but it is not like I have words in my mind that I really want to say but can't make my mouth move to say them, but instead, I don't want to think of anything to say or find something too hard to verbally communicate and don't want to make the effort.
Most of these things seem common, and they are not like being non-verbal, so I don't consider them any kind of non-verbal like people sometimes call them on autism forums, and I don't consider people who have them to go non-verbal or be partially verbal people.


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League_Girl
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23 May 2015, 2:48 pm

I often have difficulty talking in big groups which is the reason why I barely speak at the autism groups. When I do speak, words get lost in my head and I get lost if anyone interrupts and things don't always come out right and the others seem to have no trouble at all. What a spectrum. I am sure I am not the only one there with this problem. I agree with btbnnyr that I wouldn't consider this non verbal. To me non verbal implies you can't speak and are not able to respond and this isn't the case here.


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ytrewq
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23 May 2015, 2:58 pm

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I can be pretty articulate about things, as long as I don't care about them too much. But as my feelings run high, my words dry up.

It seems like the link between autism and abnormal patterns of connectivity in the brain ("too few" connections in some areas, "too many" connections in others) can provide at least a broad way of thinking about it. (Although it would be foolish to link this directly to any actual, specific connections in the brain, at this point.) It's kind of like the circuits that make the connection between feelings and words (and vice versa) are getting overloaded.

Here's how I've been thinking about it: for me, as for many of us, real-time social interactions are already heavily taxing. Those emotional-linguistic connections are already getting overloaded just dealing with the bewildering complexity of human communication. Throw in the need to express strong emotions, and it's like I just ... run out of bandwidth.

I can have profoundly emotional imaginary conversations -- because those don't require processing real emotional inputs, so I can focus on putting my own feelings into words. But whenever I try to have one of those conversations with an actual human being, no matter how much I like or trust them, it's just too much.

It's taken me a long time to think about things this way. For the longest time, when I found myself suddenly unable to speak in an emotional context, I just figured I had "lost my nerve" or "been overwhelmed with emotion," or maybe my feelings were just too profound for words -- but none of those things ever really rang true. It feels far more accurate (to me) to think of it as a "CONNECTION BUSY ERROR." :)

And although I can't claim any dramatic success so far, this way of thinking has also given me some hints about how to deal with the problem -- by reducing other sources of emotional-linguistic "load" in the situation, or finding ways to break down that overall load (slow-walking or scripting parts of the conversation) so that it never hits an abrupt overload point.



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24 May 2015, 9:45 am

Quote:
I can have profoundly emotional imaginary conversations -- because those don't require processing real emotional inputs, so I can focus on putting my own feelings into words. But whenever I try to have one of those conversations with an actual human being, no matter how much I like or trust them, it's just too much.

I have the same experience with touch. I'm ok with imagining myself being touched/touching others, but actual, real touch is too uncomfortable.
I was thinking learning a foreign language might help ASD people with speech issues. It would be learning to speak all over again, exercising that part of the brain, and the more you practice and engage that part, the more you may be able to develop it.


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LadyLuna
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24 May 2015, 4:14 pm

Judas,

I am not sure how common this is. Before this week I did not know of anyone else who had this. It seems to me like it is an autistic thing even though it is not an official symptom.

I am relieved to know I am not the only one. I am starting to suspect that all of my unexplained issues are related to autism.

I think it is worse with stress, but with a small twist. I am often able to hold it together in public only to have the symptoms rage when I am in a safe place.



Sachorus27
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27 May 2015, 2:04 pm

KaylamiYarne wrote:
I have the face-twitch problem as well...what is that? It's worse for me when I try to smile so I look down often.

It is really frustrating. I have found for me it only really becomes an issue if I am having to actually express my feelings, I follow each word up with a violent head spasm. Otherwise it is mild enough to just muddle through. An unconscious physical display of frustration maybe?



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27 May 2015, 2:13 pm

All my abilities are variable all over the place. Sometimes I can't read, even though I'm a fluent reader at college level. Sometimes I can't remember how to speak the english language. Sometimes I forget how to even walk properly, and have to sit down wherever I am. Sometimes I can do calculus, then the next day I forget how to do even basic fractions. Sometimes I win a running race, other days I lag far behind others. Sometimes I literally feel like I am only two feet tall while walking. It is like being on LSD. Psychiatrists have no explanation.



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28 May 2015, 2:21 am

MollyTroubletail wrote:
All my abilities are variable all over the place. Sometimes I can't read, even though I'm a fluent reader at college level. Sometimes I can't remember how to speak the english language. Sometimes I forget how to even walk properly, and have to sit down wherever I am. Sometimes I can do calculus, then the next day I forget how to do even basic fractions. Sometimes I win a running race, other days I lag far behind others. Sometimes I literally feel like I am only two feet tall while walking. It is like being on LSD. Psychiatrists have no explanation.


I'm similar in some ways. I can get two completely different results on tests depending on when and where I take them. I got a 32 on the ACT one year, the next year I got a 23...it's very annoying.

I don't have speech errors or monotone voice like other autistics, but I've been told I come off as rather "cold" and "don't have any emotion" in my voice. I think I'd rather have monotone voice or speech errors because then people would just think I have problems, which I do, and not just think I'm an as*hole.



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28 May 2015, 5:41 am

I get the very same problem sometimes but not all the time. If I'm very overwhelmed or stressed I struggle more though and sometimes don't talk fluently but that's very rarely. I was told that's to do with HFA.


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28 May 2015, 7:17 am

If I am stressed, anxious or depressed my ability to communicate/communicate effectively is decreased. It feels as if I'm stuck inside my head without the ability to say what I want to and forced attempts to communicate lead to miscommunication and feeling frustrated. I can still have a basic scripted interaction, but not anything that requires organisation of my thoughts into a coherent complete message. This effects outgoing written and spoken words. At these times I absolutely hate my brain for refusing to cooperate.

It's different when I'm in good health, in group situations with a fast paced conversation is when I have no response, there is too much happening at once, silly example: "I think that cerise pink is the most suitable colour for her birthday theme, how do you feel about that shade Amity?" "Sure I agree its the most suitable colour". If I could press pause, and process the topic minus additional noises and organise my thoughts I think I might be able to form my own response, and reduce the risk of jumbling my words and only partially communicating.



msnoname
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28 May 2015, 7:30 am

I have struggled with this my entire life, oh man. There are certain things I cannot say, and there are certain situations in which I cannot speak. Whenever I try to say them, my voice doesn't come. I turn into a mute, and the only sounds that will come out are grunts, gasps, whimpers, and squeaks.

When I was a kid, I did not speak in kindergarten. I actually managed to make friends with this one very talkative girl (I'm sure she initiated this friendship) and she turned into my speaker. We've been friends ever since, and her mom told me recently that she had gotten a note on her report card that year telling her to stop talking for me. To this day I still rely on her to speak for me in many situations, though much more discretely. Mostly I just depend on her to do all the talking when we're out with people I don't know well, and I can just sit and listen. Because I cannot talk to people I don't know. It is awkward, uncomfortable, and my mind goes completely blank.

I used to drive my mom absolutely nuts with it, too. She thought I was doing it on purpose and would start yelling at me to "Just say it!! !". The more pressure I feel to speak, though, the harder and harder it becomes to actually say anything. She has since apologised for that, and I love my mom, but the effect is still there. Now I get anxiety attacks when I realise I can't speak. My husband hates it when I do this, too, and used to try and coax me into saying the things I could not say. He did it nicely and patiently, but still it felt like pressure to me and made it even harder to say what he wanted me to say. I usually write notes when I have something to say that I simply cannot.

Nobody seemed to understand when I would try and explain that I can't until I had Raj from the Big Bang Theory to point to as an example. I don't watch that show anymore, but he is still one of the greatest things to happen to TV, as far as I'm concerned. He has made my life so much easier.

It sucks, because I feel like I'm trapped in my own head and there is no way out. Even when I am comfortable speaking, words never come out quite right -- they certainly don't come out as they are in my head. I sound very ditzy and dumb when I speak, I stumble over my words constantly, and am always having to stop, go "bleeeh" and stick my tongue out, to reset and calm myself down so I can finish speaking.

...Sorry, that was a bit verbose. If you can tell, I don't talk as much as I would like to. :P



KaylamiYarne
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28 May 2015, 8:06 pm

Sachorus27 wrote:
KaylamiYarne wrote:
I have the face-twitch problem as well...what is that? It's worse for me when I try to smile so I look down often.

It is really frustrating. I have found for me it only really becomes an issue if I am having to actually express my feelings, I follow each word up with a violent head spasm. Otherwise it is mild enough to just muddle through. An unconscious physical display of frustration maybe?


I've never thought of it as an unconscious display of frustration, but it is frustrating lol. Almost like my face is half cut off from feelings (bad explanation but oh well). I don't have head spasms but I do have facial spasms if I try to express feelings like you said...what would be a description of your head spasms (if you don't mind me asking)?