Coping, or something
I've been depressed and lonely.
Lately, I've found something that feels good; I imagine scenarios in my head with someone I like. I'm feeling depressed, so I like to imagine I'm feeling bad in my fantasy and the other person makes me feel better somehow. (This is the simplest way to explain it.)
BUT, then I imagine screwing it up somehow, or there being a misunderstanding. To relieve this pain, I imagine correcting the misunderstanding OR adding something else to the mix that gives me hope or relieves anxiety.
It's a cycle of anxiety, relief, anxiety, relief... and so on.
Then recently I did this in real life, just as it has played in my head. ><
I was feeling very bad and anxious and ended up accusing a crush of something. (I later found this intense anxiety was due to a hormone being too low. My doctor raised the dose and I instantly felt better, but not "great".)
He got angry at my accusation but later forgave me.
I thought I was only imagining things going wrong in my day-dreams because it felt so good to get a relief from depression and anxiety.
But perhaps there is some kind of social confusion and anxiety that I feel subconsciously. Maybe I don't know how to react and respond appropriately, so I imagine doing just that.
Or, maybe needing relief from anxiety is what leads me into over-analyzing.
I don't know why I can't just ask someone something straightforwardly... Fear?
Instead I accuse or read too far into things, make puzzles out of things.
I don't really expect answers out of you guys. But anyone else have these issues?
Hopefully I didn't make this post too long, but I cannot imagine how to make one any shorter.
My theory of mind when it comes to other people is generally in overdrive. Like I need to constantly evaluate everyone to see if we're still friends and if I actually understand who they are. I think I'm pretty good at getting other people but I don't do well with ambiguity. If they seem at all cold then I'd probably see them as hating me just in case they really do.
But yeah, the fantasy situation thing, I used to do it way more often. I kind of miss it to be honest. I guess you'd call it mental self-therapy. It can feel amazing. For me it's probably better thinking about an actress though than someone I actually interact with. Because if I did interact with them in real life I might end up telling them my fantasy. Which would generally involve hugs or a nice conversation. It sounds fine but people don't seem to know how to respond. =[
Mavis, the only thing I can say to you is that either/or of these emotional states is a crushing burden that all of us has experienced and None of us wants to carry!
And yet we experience them and we carry on
WRong Planet may not be the place where we solve your problems
but sure as s**t we'll put our thinking caps on!
_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb
Transyl, that's kind of how I am too. I need frequent reassurance. I'm trying to get better at it though.
But yeah, I don't think fantasies like that are good to tell people, generally. I know that the person in my mind isn't the person in reality, and I don't really fantasize about people I think I have a chance to actually interact with.
but sure as s**t we'll put our thinking caps on! =[
Haha, thanks. I hope so. I'm not even autistic. O.o *shrugs* But I figure, what better place to post random social/emotional/random problems than WP?
But yeah, I don't think fantasies like that are good to tell people, generally. I know that the person in my mind isn't the person in reality, and I don't really fantasize about people I think I have a chance to actually interact with.
but sure as s**t we'll put our thinking caps on! =[
Haha, thanks. I hope so. I'm not even autistic. O.o *shrugs* But I figure, what better place to post random social/emotional/random problems than WP?
Hey Mavis, I really thought some of us could put our thinking caps on and solve some of your dilemmnas!
I 've always been proved wrong but that's NEVER going to stop me from caring!
Hugs!
If all the rain in the universe rains down on you
think of us as a really sh***y umbrella
a sh***y umbrella that lets the hailstones through
but a sh***y umbrella that won't let go
unless you do
_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb
But yeah, I don't think fantasies like that are good to tell people, generally. I know that the person in my mind isn't the person in reality, and I don't really fantasize about people I think I have a chance to actually interact with.
but sure as s**t we'll put our thinking caps on! =[
Haha, thanks. I hope so. I'm not even autistic. O.o *shrugs* But I figure, what better place to post random social/emotional/random problems than WP?
It's not required you be autistic to post here, this forum seems to appeal to a whole host of people with disorders that have been marginalized by society, add in all the normal parents with autistic children and probably only a little over half the forum members are actually autistic.
My opinion is that fantasies should be fun, not depressing. If you're going to fantasize then fantasize about your boy-crush doing something erotic, not pissing you off, lol.