dealing with change- setback kind of change

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infilove
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24 May 2015, 10:25 pm

I know many Aspies and high functioning individuals have a hard time dealing with change. However, I find when me I'm okay with dealing with change in general. BUT there is an exception to this: I find if there's unexpected change that involves stopping something I'm excited about, I get very upset! In otherwords, when it comes to a sudden change that prevents something that I like and excited to do, or something Im looking forward for, like a party, a fun event, or plan with a friend, I get very upset! I'll get so upset to the point my day will often get ruined and I require a lot of time/effort to calm down

Are you that way about that kind of change too?


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BirdInFlight
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25 May 2015, 5:00 am

My version of change that upsets me tends to be things that are going to disrupt the stability of my life and my routines, and my privacy, and which are also beyond my control and/or thrust upon me.

An example would be one from my living situation -- I'm in a rented apartment building, and the managers are very overly "hands on" and constantly inform us of "improvements" and work that is going to be done. The last example of this was that they were replacing all the TV cabling and would need access to every apartment over the course of a couple of weeks. It was a massive project, they had to come back in and out of my apartment on three separate occasions, and that made me feel very intruded upon. I get nervous at that kind of thing even though I'm given fair warning. I just want to be forever left alone in privacy and peace. I even have to psychologically work my way up to inviting a friend over, let alone have strangers tromping through my place without my say-so.

I'm good with change when it's something I have complete control over and/or in fact instigated myself. Even then it can be stressful, but not as much as when the change is something someone else forced upon me with no options or choice.


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BirdInFlight
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25 May 2015, 5:40 am

Bad reading comprehension today for me -- I just realized you are asking more about "setback" change!

I think when it's something I've been looking forward to I just feel disappointment. When it's something that actually makes my life worse in a practical way, then my reaction is more problematic. When I was a driver and relied on my car for getting to work jobs all over everywhere, it was a very serious setback to have car trouble that took me off the road and gouged my finances. I think only that kind of setback really causes me upset so great that I have to make strenuous efforts to calm down and cope.


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~ ~ ~

If you have a problem with something I post, something I believe, something I do or say, something in my sig, or something I am stupid enough to share that I'm struggling with and being caused pain by -- TELL ME TO MY FACE so that I can defend myself, instead of see you make a mockery of or a dig about it later.

On the other hand, friends will never need an explanation, and enemies bent on disliking me will never accept one.

ASD Level 1, PTSD. Plus anxiety with panic attacks, mild sub-clinical situational depression -- and a massive case of sheer freakin' BURNOUT.

~ ~ ~