Do women find this attractive?

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indianadowjones
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27 Jun 2015, 12:18 am

Why can't find a date? Are the following attributes desirable?

- I'm college educated
- I drive a paid off car, and a paid off truck
- I own my house (no mortgage)
- No debt, just the usual bills, and pay off my credit cards monthly
- I fully fund my Roth IRA every year
- I have a decent stock portfolio
- I don't smoke, and drink infrequently
- Never married, no kids
- No criminal issues, only a few tickets here and there (no moving violations though)


What am I doing wrong? I've asked for dates but get rejected. I'm not even worth a free meal?



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jun 2015, 6:04 am

Typical Asian women would like that; the ones raised in Asia.



Venger
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27 Jun 2015, 6:18 am

indianadowjones wrote:
Why can't find a date?


Cause this your lucky 13th post.



indianadowjones
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27 Jun 2015, 6:18 pm

Venger wrote:
indianadowjones wrote:
Why can't find a date?


Cause this your lucky 13th post.[/quo

Eureka!



CoffinCrawler
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27 Jun 2015, 7:50 pm

Do you try to engage in small talk with the women you're planning to ask out? If you try to direct the conversation to be about them rather than you, perhaps one of them will be interested in going out on a date with you. Ask about their interests, what they like to do for fun, and feelings/opinions on different topics, etc.



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27 Jun 2015, 7:57 pm

indianadowjones wrote:
Why can't find a date? Are the following attributes desirable?

- I'm college educated
- I drive a paid off car, and a paid off truck
- I own my house (no mortgage)
- No debt, just the usual bills, and pay off my credit cards monthly
- I fully fund my Roth IRA every year
- I have a decent stock portfolio
- I don't smoke, and drink infrequently
- Never married, no kids
- No criminal issues, only a few tickets here and there (no moving violations though)


What am I doing wrong? I've asked for dates but get rejected. I'm not even worth a free meal?


Well simply being financially stable, and not smoking or drinking often alone probably won't attract anyone. You could own a car and be financially stable and still be boring...what kind of hobbies do you have, what activities do you do/like, what kind of things would you want to do with a significant other?



indianadowjones
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28 Jun 2015, 11:23 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Typical Asian women would like that; the ones raised in Asia.


Funny enough, I'm planning a trip to Central Asia later this year.



izzeme
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29 Jun 2015, 2:58 am

The list you mentioned isn't a list of items that are attractive, persay.
Rather, if any of those 'items' is missing, that's a negative point on someone, but absence of a negative does not imply presense of a positive



Loveurself
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29 Jun 2015, 4:09 am

indianadowjones wrote:
Why can't find a date? Are the following attributes desirable?

- I'm college educated
- I drive a paid off car, and a paid off truck
- I own my house (no mortgage)
- No debt, just the usual bills, and pay off my credit cards monthly
- I fully fund my Roth IRA every year
- I have a decent stock portfolio
- I don't smoke, and drink infrequently
- Never married, no kids
- No criminal issues, only a few tickets here and there (no moving violations though)


What am I doing wrong? I've asked for dates but get rejected. I'm not even worth a free meal?


Everything you mentioned are external things. Money, never been married, college educated.... they are all external. You didn't mention you. What you like, what you don't like - your interests. How do you approach women and where? Do you present yourself well by always looking presentable? Do you get nervous around women and put out a nervous vibe? What kind of women do you approach? All of that factors in. You sound good on paper so it could be something really small that you may be doing. You sound financially stable and that's always a good start for dating. It could just be the type of women you try to talk to.



indianadowjones
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30 Jun 2015, 9:26 pm

Part of my problem is I tend to attract clingy types, who see my need for alone time as a bad thing. I also bring up esoteric topics when I meet women out of nervousness. Funny, I'm completely normal when talking to married women, because I know they are off limits.



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30 Jun 2015, 11:52 pm

I think you answered your own question. When you talk to single women try to have the mindset that she is married. I am in the same boat as you financially and live a similar lifestyle and I have found lately that women really don't know how to relate to decent men anymore. I am beginning to think that there are so many douchebags out there that us stable, decent men are viewed as pariahs. Plus it seems that most women today are adrenaline addicts and us decent men can't provide them with an adrenaline fix.


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03 Jul 2015, 12:28 am

Darn it! I wish I would've know about autism when I was in my late 20s...geez...I actually dated and later married a guy who seemed to be many of those things because of those things, although NOT because I wanted him to support me as I had a very good job, traveled, etc. and was NOT looking to be stuck with someone all the time. He ended up being clingy instead and well, most of the items from your list that he seemed to have were all a lie...I have regretted dating him for years. Not sure I will ever get over it. I feel completely deceived. :-( Find an AS girl. :-)



kanashimoo
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03 Jul 2015, 3:09 am

Physical attraction is pretty important too. Most aspies might find fashion and style rather challenging. I know that I don't go out of my way to dress up so I just keep fashion simple and work out in the gym instead. I'm not ripped or athletic by any means and I'm rather short, but I certainly look much better than the emaciated me a year back.


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03 Jul 2015, 1:53 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
indianadowjones wrote:
Why can't find a date? Are the following attributes desirable?

- I'm college educated
- I drive a paid off car, and a paid off truck
- I own my house (no mortgage)
- No debt, just the usual bills, and pay off my credit cards monthly
- I fully fund my Roth IRA every year
- I have a decent stock portfolio
- I don't smoke, and drink infrequently
- Never married, no kids
- No criminal issues, only a few tickets here and there (no moving violations though)


What am I doing wrong? I've asked for dates but get rejected. I'm not even worth a free meal?


Well simply being financially stable, and not smoking or drinking often alone probably won't attract anyone. You could own a car and be financially stable and still be boring...what kind of hobbies do you have, what activities do you do/like, what kind of things would you want to do with a significant other?


Emotional and intellectual connection is a good starting point, I think.

Stability is an excellent bonus and a lack of it can definitely reduce someone's odds, but dating is largely about compatibility and attraction. Like in friendship, people want people who fit into their lives, complement their personality (or personality flaws), help them with their struggles, and stimulate them. People who can do that often have their appearances or finances overlooked.

For those of us who don't mesh with the normal modes of thinking and feeling, that can be much harder. Clingy types I think tend to look for a "rock" to cling to. I wouldn't be surprised if someone well-off and aloof gave off that impression to them.