The word ''empathy'' is becoming my worst word

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auntblabby
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24 Jun 2018, 6:16 pm

George9 wrote:
People today frequently confuse compassion and empathy. Empathy is the is the ability to share the feelings of others and is only one path to having compassion, which is concerns for the problems of others.

I feel that while I have no empathy I have more compassion than the average person.

May I recommend the book "Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion" by Paul Bloom. It not only makes this distinction but argues that empathy is one of the worst paths to compassion that there is.

in a nutshell, will you please tell me why empathy is one of the worst paths to compassion?



B19
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24 Jun 2018, 7:45 pm

I have both empathy and compassion, and the decades have enhanced my capacity to feel for others in every way.

The endless posts that seek to educate us here (about what we already now) concerning binary differences in empathy have become so frequent and repetitive that they sound like a meme. Rarely does anyone look deeper into the origins of that binary construct and consider it from a wider or deeper perspective. I look forward to that day...



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24 Jun 2018, 11:23 pm

The good doc who diagnosed me gave me a book about aspergers. That book makes it pretty simple.

Empathy and sympathy are two different things.

Empathy is putting yourself in anothers shoes. Theory of mind, or what is sometimes called "cognative empathy".

Sympathy is something else. The book said aspies have tons of sympathy but lack empathy.


So, I, the reader extended that notion to conclude that: autistics have sympathy , but not empathy (are concerned for others but don't know how others tick), while sociopaths have empathy but no sympathy (know how others tick but use to exploit it to their own ends without mercy for others).



auntblabby
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24 Jun 2018, 11:56 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
The good doc who diagnosed me gave me a book about aspergers. That book makes it pretty simple. Empathy and sympathy are two different things. Empathy is putting yourself in anothers shoes. Theory of mind, or what is sometimes called "cognative empathy". Sympathy is something else. The book said aspies have tons of sympathy but lack empathy. So, I, the reader extended that notion to conclude that: autistics have sympathy , but not empathy (are concerned for others but don't know how others tick), while sociopaths have empathy but no sympathy (know how others tick but use to exploit it to their own ends without mercy for others).

if you instinctively hurt/cry when you see others in pain [even some infants cry when they see others crying], what is that called?



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25 Jun 2018, 1:13 am

auntblabby wrote:
if you instinctively hurt/cry when you see others in pain [even some infants cry when they see others crying], what is that called?


Sounds like what you describe here as sympathy.

There are two kinds of empathy I heard of alot when it comes to autism. They‘re called affective empathy and cognitive empathy. Affective empathy seems to be a synonyme for what you here call sympathy.


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25 Jun 2018, 1:16 am

auntblabby wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
The good doc who diagnosed me gave me a book about aspergers. That book makes it pretty simple. Empathy and sympathy are two different things. Empathy is putting yourself in anothers shoes. Theory of mind, or what is sometimes called "cognative empathy". Sympathy is something else. The book said aspies have tons of sympathy but lack empathy. So, I, the reader extended that notion to conclude that: autistics have sympathy , but not empathy (are concerned for others but don't know how others tick), while sociopaths have empathy but no sympathy (know how others tick but use to exploit it to their own ends without mercy for others).

if you instinctively hurt/cry when you see others in pain [even some infants cry when they see others crying], what is that called?


That would be empathy combined with sympathy.



auntblabby
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25 Jun 2018, 1:19 am

Lorrent wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
if you instinctively hurt/cry when you see others in pain [even some infants cry when they see others crying], what is that called?


Sounds like what you describe here as sympathy.

There are two kinds of empathy I heard of alot when it comes to autism. They‘re called affective empathy and cognitive empathy. Affective empathy seems to be a synonyme for what you here call sympathy.

sounds hard-wired to me, and if people utterly lack that, could they then be seen as pathologically antisocial/sociopathic?



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25 Jun 2018, 1:31 am

auntblabby wrote:
Lorrent wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
if you instinctively hurt/cry when you see others in pain [even some infants cry when they see others crying], what is that called?


Sounds like what you describe here as sympathy.

There are two kinds of empathy I heard of alot when it comes to autism. They‘re called affective empathy and cognitive empathy. Affective empathy seems to be a synonyme for what you here call sympathy.

sounds hard-wired to me, and if people utterly lack that, could they then be seen as pathologically antisocial/sociopathic?


Yes indeed. They lack affective empathy. It‘s a core part to be diagnosed as aspd. Other criterias would be: lak of remorse, need for stimulation, bad impulse control, high self esteem and shallow emotions. Pretty much the opposite of asd imo.


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George9
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25 Jun 2018, 6:33 pm

auntblabby wrote:
George9 wrote:
People today frequently confuse compassion and empathy. Empathy is the is the ability to share the feelings of others and is only one path to having compassion, which is concerns for the problems of others.

I feel that while I have no empathy I have more compassion than the average person.

May I recommend the book "Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion" by Paul Bloom. It not only makes this distinction but argues that empathy is one of the worst paths to compassion that there is.

in a nutshell, will you please tell me why empathy is one of the worst paths to compassion?


The author, a psychology professor, offers many different reasons and examples. One is that empathy for one person frequently causes people to favor that one person at the expense of many others. His analogy of empathy is that of a spotlight in a dark room: it illuminates only a small portion of the room very brightly. But rational compassion will illuminate the entire room. Want more than that then read the book.



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25 Jun 2018, 6:35 pm

auntblabby wrote:
blazingstar wrote:
Everything takes longer to heal as one gets older. Even simple things like small cuts may take several weeks to heal where as they used to disappear in a couple of days. When biking I slipped on some wet grass and then my right knee hit the pavement hard. Nothing was broken, but I could not kneel on that knee for about 10 years. So, I have empathy for you both. THIS IS A JOKE. I always thought empathy was absorbing the pain of another person, and in that way the other person feels less pain.


can you kneel now? there is empathy of the heart, and empathy of the head. I have it of the heart more than of the head, IOW when I see somebody hurting I instinctively hurt also, I can't turn it off. as I get older it gets stronger. I wonder how much Stendahl's Syndrome plays into this phenomenon?


Yes, I can kneel now, carefully, and it doesn't hurt.


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blazingstar
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25 Jun 2018, 6:37 pm

B19 wrote:
I have both empathy and compassion, and the decades have enhanced my capacity to feel for others in every way.

The endless posts that seek to educate us here (about what we already now) concerning binary differences in empathy have become so frequent and repetitive that they sound like a meme. Rarely does anyone look deeper into the origins of that binary construct and consider it from a wider or deeper perspective. I look forward to that day...


OK, so I don't know what you mean by looking deeper into the origins of the binary construct. I haven't been in the forum all that long. If you can explain further???


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auntblabby
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25 Jun 2018, 6:47 pm

blazingstar wrote:
Yes, I can kneel now, carefully, and it doesn't hurt.

that is good, it took me a long time to use my elbow again after my accident with the deer on my bike.



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25 Jun 2018, 6:50 pm

Thanks. We of disintegrating bodies need to hang together, regardless of what you call it. :D


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auntblabby
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25 Jun 2018, 7:01 pm

even if it takes bits of twine and duct tape. we could exchange tips on how to best hold ourselves together :bounce: