Don't know what to do now?

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Hi,I am back its been a quite a while since I have last made a post.Well here it goes,I am 22 years old and I am gonna be 23 years old on the 6th.I am kind of lost on where to go now in my life,I am single and unemployed I have never had a job.I had to drop out of school just before the begining of Junior Year because of Stress and Anxiety.The reasons for this are many fold. For example

1.On my first day of High School they revealed that they had changed the Graduation requirements from the standard credits system to some portfollio nonsense and my graduating class was the first class required to do it so that caused a panic and anxiousness about going through all four years and not graduating I wanted out really bad because that was very terrible time for me.Add on top of the that the implementation of this system was very poor and there was almost no communication between Teachers and Students about it other than to put the fear into you.I was not a bad student I had never failed a class and my lowest grade I had ever gotten was C mostly cause I struggled greatly with Math.

2.I was bullied for being myself,and overweight not to mention puberty was not doing my emotional or mental state any favors

3.I missed quite a few days do staying out be cause I dreaded going in an I had quite a few medical problems creep up a that time.For example I had Chiari Malformation which had caused a Syrinx that required Surgery.I had missed quite a bit of school due to the surgery and when I got back the weight of my backpack filled with all the text since we had no time between classes in order to put books back,had caused cerebral spinal fluid to collected at the back of my head where the muscles had weakened and had yet to seal the hole in the back of my skull.This caused a condition called Pseudo Encephilitis which caused terrible headaches and require me to stay home the rest of that year and receive home tutoring.

4.Then I was falling asleep in class due to the fact I had trouble sleeping at an issue that I have always suffered from but to make matters worse I was getting little restorative sleep because I had Sleep Apnea and Restless Leg Syndrome which caused me to miss more school and receive more home tutoring.I probably would have graduated if those issues had not come up and I had more support from with in school of which I had very little.I could also never get used to using my Bi-PAP machine due to sensory issues.

After I dropped out from school more problems came up


5.When I turned 18 I was cut from Katie Beckett which is program I not sure if its national or a Rhode Island only thing which was connected to Medicaid which didn't pay a dime it just prevented us from being charged a copay.I tried applying for regular Medicaid and was denied luckily I didn't lose my health insurance because of the ACA some I am still covered by my Dads.But I still had to quit taking my RLS medication because we couldn't afford the copay.

6.I also applied for SSI and was denied,I didn't appeal that time

7.In 2013 I went and got my GED and did really good I had some the top scores in my graduating class.

But now I am kind of stuck what to do next because I would love to get a job but there not a lot of jobs here in Rhode Island and most that hiring are jobs that are a very bad fit for me mostly retail\service sector.

I have several ideas of jobs that would be a good fit but they come with several issues

1.They usually require some form of Training,Certification,or degree non of which are employer provided and I can't access because neither me nor my parents can afford to pay for it.

2.Transportation issues if I could afford any of the above I couldn't get to and from because we only have one car which my dad requires to drive to and from his second job and he also needs during the day for his first job.My Mom also as her license, I do not because I really hard to schedule and time to do the test,pay for it not to mention the idea of driving terrifies not to mention the whole car issue.Even if I got a job I would have almost no way to get there the very idea of riding public transportation by myself makes me feel sick with nervousness.

I feel lost and adrift at sea with no clue what to do next since most of the jobs I could get at this point would probably make me go insane.I have re applied for SSI was denied again but this time we appeal at least we did the first appeal process which have not gonna any news about yet and from what I've heard as a very little success which require doing the next step which is to have hearing with Administrative Law Judge which could take a while and definitely still not sure thing.The problem is I really need that financial independence and if that doesn't come through I have no hope left.I was given very little assistance during school with school related thing and none at all for life after school.I simply could not handle most entry level job positions available in my area for many reason nor do have to tools to achieve anything better.I have really bad anxiety,nervousness,I don't handle stress well,I have a few medical issues,I don't deal with people well so retail\service sector would be bad for me but I also couldn't do physical labor.My strengths lie with computers so the my best fit would be in IT,Data Entry and stuff like that.

Have any of you been in postion like this and do you have any advice on what I should do?I really need help because I have no clue what to do.I feel sick and very panicky about entering the job market especially consider what's out there available for me and when I got my most recent denial from SSI I felt like puking right then and there.

I wish I had SSI in my country, well my alternative would be Disability Living allowance but my AS/HFA isn't severe enough to be considered a disability and that gives them (I assume the government) an excuse to say that I am perfectly capable of performing any role or job, but i'm not and I have very specific requirements such as limiting my interaction with others since it will cause a mental breakdown and high anxiety levels. I am barely scraping by as it is with my unemployment benefit (Jobseekers allowance) at £100 a fortnight (converted to $155 per month), if it wasn't for one or two family members paying my bills, rent and food, I would not survive at all, I would be living on £50 a week, no benefits for housing, unable to live in a hostel because there aren't any in the surrounding areas, even though I would be able to pay bills and rent, the money is just not enough for my food, i'm already severely underweight as it is (BMI as low as 12).

I am somewhat in the same boat as you, around the same age, just over a year out of work, well i've never had work, so out of education if you will. No degree even though I went to university, failed 2 years gained nothing. Got highest grades on my IT course at college but for what? Just so I get rejected by every IT position I apply for. Regularly gamble in the hopes of gettin lots of money, but just deluding myself, so I just spend it because theres nothing else I can do. I have a top-class CV and cover letter tailored to the IT industry, hand-made by professionals, maybe its the stupid employers being so damn picky, so they pick the most experienced individuals. I've started faking my skills on my CV saying that i'm proficient in programming when I just know the basics, and have excellent communication skills just to make my CV look more attractive to employers seeing thats the utmost required thing in the business world.

TLDR: You and I pretty much in a Catch-22 situation unless you make some drastic changes to your job search or career path, and/or fake your personality on your profile, resume/CV and try and act it out on the job.

I guess its good to now I am not the only one is this kind of situation,but also sucks because this situation suck.Its also sad to no this BS transcends borders.Yeah I am gonna be 23 on 6th and I just feel so lost.At least I don't have worry about the food situation like you since I still live with my parents.I also have to opposite problem I am overweight mostly because of meds that I was prescribed years ago have really messed up my metabolism.I didn't have college cause my parents nor me could afford to pay for it and the college system here in the States is really messed up because its ludicrously expensive which usually forces you to take out a loan that will take 40 years to pay off,you can get the some assistance but you usually have to jump through a lot of hoops to get it and with way the US is you never if that stuffs gonna survive the next election.Our systems are bare-bones compared to what's found in Europe and elsewhere and even with that there are always people waiting on the sidelines just waiting to gut those systems.My fear is that I will eventually get approved for SSI but then the Republicans will win the White House and will gut every thing like pig.I would love to have a job its just that oppurtunity and tools needed to get into a good place are just not there,and I don't know where or how to get them and getting the alternative is emotional rollercoaster.Gods I would have such an easier time in a place that wasn't so broken.

Go to a community college and apply for a Pell grant and then for loans. They'll help you do all that at the financial aid office. Take the Gen Ed courses and see what you like, then go on to a four year college in whatever you're best at and like the most.

The anxiety and problems with dealing with people/situations will gradually get easier as you get older. I would try to keep living at home while you're in college, if possible, and add a part time job when you feel you can handle it. I would make the first priorities going to community college and driving.

You will have a much easier and more comfortable life if you start setting things up for yourself now. Don't push too hard, but don't just throw up your hands and say you can't do something because it's hard. Baby step it and you'll be fine.

That's kind of my problem though its not so much that I've giving up,its that I am kind of stuck with nowhere to go,there are to many barriers in my way that don't depend just on my willingness to get rid of.I don't know if I would qualify for any college assistance since my family tends to fall in that grey area of having too much money to qualify for anything but not enough to actually pay for that stuff and I am not to keen on getting stuck with with 40 year debt to pay off especially with how bad the job market is out here,the other issue is I would have no way to get to college since we only have on car that is used by my dad 5 days a week from hours of 6 AM to 3PM and 3 days a week by my dad for the hours of 6pm to 11pm and riding the bus by myself makes me to nervous especially since I have no cellphone nor the money to afford one and I am no shape to be walking long distances anywhere.A part time job is kind out of the realm of possibility for similar reasons and the fact that I would of just gotten a full time one but all that's available with my education level is jobs that would horrible for me,mostly retail\service and physical labor both of which I couldn't do.That the reason I applied for SSI,not because I've giving up and plan on relying on it forever but because I need some sort of income,financial independence and managing money on my own so I can get some of the part of my life together that I do have control of and maybe remove some of those barriers.But as it stands now I am kind of in a catch 22.The three main places around here wouldn't work because I couldn't work in fast food,I couldn't work at the manufacturing plant my dad works at and I couldn't work at Stop and Shop because I just wouldn't handle it well,My dad works at one for his second job and my older brother also works for them,and he is also on the spectrum and that job causes him no end of grief so you can see why I avoid it like the plague.Now if I could land a job doing something like record keeping,medical billing,data entry and the like that would be great I would have no problem doing that even better if it was an entry level position.I could do that an save the money I make up to help remove a lot of the hurdles I have,I can get my license,save up for car,and get training to get a better job and finally be able to move on with my life. So right now I see myself as having only 2 real options

1.Get approved by SSI and do I what I need to at least what I can to remove the hurdles so I can become employed in the future.

2.Get a entry level job that is a good fit for me,and save my money in order move on to better job and hopefully gain true adult independence so I can start building my own life.

You can get financial aid, colleges want the money so they'll practically help you do it. But you do need to think carefully as to what you study and what the degree will get you, so make sure the degree is actually of any use (Cross-cultural study is NOT one of them).

Find a degree that YOU are interested and broad enough that you can find a variety of work... for science most traditional science discipline (Chemistry, Biology, Geology, etc.) is a pretty good bet since lots of industries need them. And you will have to go to college if you want to do anything science related.

For trades, you can go to a community college (if that floats your boat). Electrical, plumbing, etc. are usually pretty solid and you'll never have a shortage of work. However you may have to deal with work hazards, poor condition (like cleaning up infected human waste while doing plumbing repairs).

I don't know where you get the idea that US colleges are 50 times more expensive than everyone else. Sure, if you're going to an Ivy League school then it will be expensive but most state level universities are pretty reasonable if you are paying in state tuition. Community colleges are very cheap for residents. You could go to Singapore but not only you have to deal with language problems (Chinese is a VERY difficult language, and you must be very good at it to take college level courses there. Being able to speak, read, and write Chinese is its own set of challenge because they are all separate languages! That's right, Chinese has a spoken language, and a written language) Furthermore, universities in Asia has a totally different academic culture that you may have difficulty getting used to... Which is why when I was in Taiwan I refused to go to a university there... and instead opted for University of Phoenix (thankfully my parents paid for it). Now I'm going back to University of Texas at Austin to pursue a Geology degree.

Back to tuition costs, yes student loan sucks but not having any open doors suck even more. Now you could always get a retail job and tough it out, but it's going to pay very close to minimum wage. However it could teach some people skills... and some other skills too (for example working at a big box store could prepare you to work in warehousing).

So basically, you need to figure out what your interests are, and make sure you focus your schooling on that area.

Your two options are not feasible. This isn't 1954. An entry level job will expect you to have at least a 2 year degree and probably a 4 year degree. Without that, you're down to part time service jobs dealing with the public, or factory jobs that are very hard to get and harder to keep.

IF you get approved for SSI, you will be living in poverty. It sounds like your parents are working really hard to support their family. You don't want to work that hard. No one does. I mean, sit down and ask them about it and I'm sure they'll tell you they would rather have a single job that paid better and was easier.

The other poster is right- college isn't all that expensive. Even if you have to use all student loans, which is what I did, the student loan payments are so low you don't notice them.

If you won't be able to drive yourself for awhile, you can get rides with people or take the bus. Walking a little here makes you feel good and is good for your health.

I mean, I don't see the problem. Are you just afraid of starting this part of your life because it's different?

I live in Austin and while there are buses, it's very limited and runs so slow I could actually jog faster than the bus. Bicycles don't work so well because Austin is way too hilly, so biking requires far more strength than a flat city.

You live on the East coast, public transportation tends to be a bit better, so you may be able to rely on buses and not have to get a car. Cars are expensive so if you can make it without it, it's even better. However property prices tend to be a lot higher in places with good public transportation...

But seriously, find out what you want and get the schooling you need. If you want to work in science then you MUST have a relevant degree in the relevant field (meaning NOT a degree in Writing, English, or Cross Cultural Studies). Financial aid isn't like house payments or anything.