Bait and blame

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Do people provoke you and then accuse you of being a dick?

Not in real life. But that has happened to me right here on WP; not merely an argument but a deliberate bait and blame yes, and "ooh look at you all riled up now." Kind of thing. It's more of an online thing than anything I find happening to me in real life.

My sister does this and she's much younger than me

Yes, I think so. I'm told to be honest and let my feelings be known, but so often when I do that, I am not believed, am still pushed to behave otherwise, or have my words twisted or turned on me. For example, if I don't want a high level of affection. I try to clarify by preferences, am told I should, but then get a speech about how I'm hurting someone by not being affectionate. So then I'm caught between faking it or being honest, and can't win. Maybe not quit bating, but I certainly feel like I get pushed into corners a lot, or am pushed to be "black and white" in my thinking when I try not to, then I get accused of behaving as if choices must be all or nothing. It feels very manipulative.

Also, when I get mad, I'm being a dick. When they get mad, it's because I'm hurting them. Never makes sense to me. Except that the other person is trying to change me.

This can happen in school, too. People can purposefully try to rile you up about an issue and then act like you're irrational. It's kind of easy to spot. In real life it doesn't look much different from Internet trolling.

Yep!! !

All the time ... ON WRONGPLANET.NET!

All ... the ... f*****g ... time!

I have been able to hold my own in my professional and political lives with leaders of all groups, parties and intellectual persuasions including hostile news reporters, elected officials and their security guards, and even a representative of a neo-Nazi group. But, I can't, for the life of me, get a grasp on the 24/7 hell-hole hatred and temper-tantrums of the WP warrior class. It has become non-stop here which leads me to believe that the provocateurs here are paid government trolls, useful-idiot tools or just plain nut jobs who get their egos stroked by becoming the turds in the punchbowl at our little discussion here. WP is clearly NOT the helpful site for understanding ASD and each other that I had hoped it would be. Something changed a few months ago; something nefarious and disgusting, in my opinion.

Kids would provoke me when I was little and I would always be the one in trouble. They didn't touch me but I touched them so I was in trouble. They just knew how to push my buttons. Now it doesn't happen anymore in real life. Online, I try to ignore it. I am sure people still try and bait me by deliberately posting things to me that make no sense and go insulting me or accusing me but or being deliberately obtuse I am good at not insulting them back and stooping down to their level. If people see I am weak, I become vulnerable to online abuse and that will make me more likely to get banned on forums because members will see if they want to get rid of me, get me into trouble. I think it's easier online to ignore than in real life. Sometimes it's nothing personal what a person does because they do it to everyone. I sometimes look through their post history and I see it's nothing personal.

No, I've not been easy to provoke like that since I was very young. It's rare that anybody can make me angry with mere words, I very quickly notice that they're saying more about themselves than they're saying about me. Even when they do make me angry, I'm good at concealing it and staying in control of my faculties. I've known for donkey's years that there are bullies around who have nothing better to do than try to get a rise out of people. There's no point in me entering into a fight I can't possibly win.

There was once this kid who tried to punch me every time he walked past me. I was bigger than he was. Once or twice he hit the mark, mostly I dodged it in the nick of time. Then one day he tried it and I suddenly grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back as hard as I could. He yelled his head off in pain. I was talking to somebody at the time, and continued the conversation in the same calm voice as before, without so much as a glitch, as if I'd just idly brushed a bit of dirt off my jacket. All he'd wanted was my attention, but I was determined he wasn't going to get it that way. He never did it again.