When you can't make it in life

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I can't make it in life.

I'm so impaired with AS that I have almost no wish to socialize with others, I can't pass for NT, and I can't live on my own. Every day is the same day in and day out. I have a strong desire to start a business that hires individuals with AS and other disabilities but no idea where to start. If I can't manage my own life, how can I manage a business?

I don't have a guardian or conservatorship, but life is very hard. I don't want to live this way for the rest of my life--want to actually accomplish something I set out to do, and stop being one of society's poor that is looked down on. Not rich, just not-poor.

Lost.

Perhaps start by thinking about what skills you have or can and want to develop, then take action in that direction.
I would choose a direction and go in it, it is better than being aimless.

Your mindset is a massive block.

Aso what is 'making it?' If your thinking the American dream; forget it. That is a huge lie lol. I wish you could think like me. Honestly. I hate when people suffer when it's something that can be changed.

Maybe one of your first goals could be either: looking for a supported living program that could offer you the services you need to remain organised and functional in your own home, or sitting down and making a list of everything you want to complete, from most to least important, then start with the first thing on said list, breaking it down into manageable chunks, with due-dates for the completion of each chunk. I find my life much easier to live if I have everything I need written down in an organised fashion; appointments, addresses, tasks that need completing, etc. Just take things one step at a time. As for the IT thing, learning new skills doesn't always come down to intelligence, a lot of times it's just about effort and hard work. I have an IQ of 111 and am graduating with a bachelor's degree, while my friend, with an IQ of 145 (firmly in the gifted range) dropped out after his first or second semester. If you want it enough, you'll find a way to make it work.

I'm moderately autistic and cannot live independently either.

Yeah, I'm in the "cant live independantly" camp as well, but I always ask: Why in the world does it matter? Yes, I need help with some things. But the end result is the same: Those things get done. Properly. Which is, as far as I'm concerned, all that matters.

That being said, as far as skills, dont worry about what skills you already have. Look for skills you WANT, and then find the means to learn about them. As you try things, you may randomly find that there's something you're good at right from the start. And you'll edge out the things you just arent good at. Everyone has both things they're good at and things they're bad at, and only trial and error can allow them to figure out what any given thing is.

Also... dont worry about passing for NT. It's all VERY superficial and shallow, really. In the end, it accomplishes little, unless what you're after is false friends who only care about appearances. Just be yourself, and dont forget: NTs, though they often never admit it, tend to have loads of problems of their own. You're not exactly alone in this sort of thing.

Thank you for all the replies.

For me, "making it" means having my own place, whether renting or owning, my own rules, my own autonomy. Owning my own business and being self-employed. Being able to manage basic life on my own. Being educated. Having a husband and children. That sort of thing. I feel like I'm being punished for having AS and being disabled in other ways.

I have strong instincts for my own autonomy, rules and personal space. Right now I'm miserable. The only options available for living situations are a group home (I am not group oriented and wouldn't like the noise of many people, being up close and personal to their problems, or having staff as overseers), or a "home share" situation where I live with someone who watches over me. Both of these situations are unfavorable, and would leave me with even less money than I have now. I live with my parents at present.

Hmm. While now you can't have all those things, maybe if you take everything very slowly and see if you can have extra support, in the future you can. Maybe in a few years time but I think it must be done slowly.

Do you think I that?

Well if you reach that goal don't become part of the problem aka. one of those people who looks down on people for being poor/struggling financially and/or applying for welfare programs they qualify for. I do get that it is difficult though, currently I am unable to work...though its more than just A.S that gets in the way. I could probably manage daily life, but haven't really lived entirely alone/independently yet...college was kind of close to that in a way but not really dorms have rules and you always have access to the cafeteria and well still not really 'independent' living.

Yeah, the economy is really bad. Living at home is, for young adults at least, considered more and more acceptable. On subsidized housing, the idea of it is appealing, but there's still the snag of me not being able to live on my own. :/

For those who can't live on their own, what kind of supports do you have? Do you live by someone else's rules or have your own autonomy?

The ideal situation would be living in my own place with supports that come in-home every so often to help me with tasks. I have a worker, but I only see her once a week and she's not the kind of support I'm thinking of.

The economy is holding so many people back. I lived on my own a while then I rented a room but my work dried up and I was dirt poor and couldnt always eat so I had to move back with my parents.