Does hating autism help you

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Strange question, I know! But I often come across people on the spectrum (usually aspies) who tend to fixate on how much their autism sucks and how much they wish it was just gone. It's like they have this chip on their shoulder and they blame just about all their failures and difficulties on ASD. I understand the frustration and difficulties that come with autism, but I don't feel so bitterly resentful of my condition and, honestly, I've personally found that making peace with it and owning it has helped me to overcome a lot of the very worst.

I don't even think autism has always been a bad thing for me as I would say some of my best traits come from aspergers, such as attention to detail, orderliness and my obsessive special interests. However, I don't delude myself into the notion that autism makes me a special snowflake or that it isn't a disability. I will always regard it as a disability, but I feel like that constantly "fighting" my autism is a trap in itself. I'd rather work with it than against it.

But some people prefer different coping strategies. I learned to accept it, for better and for worse. But what about people who just loathe their autism? Do they use their anger and frustration as motivation to keep working hard? Because I personally can't imagine waking up every day and declaring war on something I can't really change about myself. If I were all angry and hopeless about it, I wouldn't have the motivation to keep going. It would just be a self fulfilling prophecy. I'd rather manage my symptoms than get mad about it.

But maybe it works for you? I just want to understand.

Adapting to the Wider World, while embracing your uniqueness, works best.

They say ignorance is bliss.
When I was growing up,
the only label they placed on me
was "gifted."

If they had labeled me "autistic" instead ...
I think I would have been much worse off.

Life has been enough of a challenge as it is.

So if you have to pick any label at all, make it a good one!

...

I used to get angry with my autism.

But now I run under a somewhat Stoic philosophy. Getting angry won't get me anywhere.

I expand on my abilities (like my rapid arithmetic abilities, my expansive memory for certain topics, my strong attention to detail etc) and I try to work on my disabilities (finding it very hard to talk to people I don't know, my reactions to sensory overload, my difficulty in understanding life skills etc).

There will be things about my autism that may never change, and I am likely to require support for the rest of my life (most probably in the form of support workers).

But I accept that. I can't change it so I accept it.

Anger, for me, is a waste of time and a waste of energy. So is hating.

I'd give you a big hug for that Steel Maiden--if you liked hugs!

How do you feel about cyber ones?

Hello. I don't do real life hugs but cyber hugs are good. They show respect and a mutual understanding.

Here's a cyber one:

{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}

I think stoicism suits you.

Thank you, I strongly appreciate that.

For me, the situation is absolutely the other way around. I find comfort in the thought that I could have AS.
Let me explain. I'm not saying AS is good or desirable. I'm not saying it's better than Schizophrenia or personality disorders (the stuff they are pushing on me all the time). AS sucks more or less almost as much as any other disability. The thing is it explains everything in my life. I can read as much on personality disorders, or schizophrenia, get as much treatment for those as I can (I've been doing so in the past 12 years) and NOTHING I read or do, be it Psychoanalysis or CBT make any sense at all and at times the "treatments" have made my condition way WAY worse. I also tried all meds available in germany (literally) and they don't help either.
Whenever I stop thinking I have Schizophrenia etc. and "blame it all on AS", my world / life starts to make sense.
if that makes sense at all

I was diagnosed at 50 with Asperger’s. It took me > 1 year to accept the diagnosis and make peace with it. But, since making peace with it, I seemed more apt to just accept those things (associated with the condition).

I think it has to do something with, prior to diagnosis, I tried to fight who I was. I aspired to be neurotypical. I became frustrated when my efforts didn’t work. It was during those times, when I hated being me and hated being alive. Since accepting the diagnosis, I have given up on that aspiration, which has simplified my life dramatically.

I don't hate it, it is what it is. I do think it is a disability that has made my life a hell of a lot harder and I don't buy none of the silly Aspie superpower stuff, we're not all hyper-capable savants. People have called me smart my whole life but I've seen it as just being able to regurgitate useless trivial information about stuff that mostly just interests me, smart is what you do with it. I took me a long time to come to terms with the diagnosis but as the years went by and I fell further and further behind my peers it was obvious that I needed support to overcome it and any pride or shame preventing that was completely irrational.

I don't get angry about my life situation honestly, that's not where I go. I go inward, that hatred/anger some might have towards others I put on myself.

IDK

Last edited by iluvgod on 18 Jul 2015, 12:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

What? Are you the leader of the message board?