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teksla
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29 Jul 2015, 10:28 am

My diagnose is f84.8, (for you guys in the states it's called pddnos).
The thing i want to post about now is that i feel like my parents, especially my dad aren't taking my diagnose seriously. My dad just pretends im like everyone else and that i should know how to read people and talk to people without being mean but the thing is i cant. I have tried, i've tried so hard but i just cant.
My diagnose makes it really hard for me to understand other people and have normal conversations.
My pddnos is basically like aspergers but i dont wanna say i have aspergers since it has not been diagnosed (so the diagnose i have is kind of a "we know you're different but we didnt have the time to properly test you for aspergers or (high functioning) autism so you get this diagnose instead and can look into it later if you want"
But it is just so frustrating to her your own father tell you that you are a self centered person and that you are rude, and i just want to point out that i do not want to use my diagnose as an excuse to be mean, but it does make me who i am and that makes it so much harder for me to understand people and put myself in their shoes.
But it is just so hard when i am trying to be a good and nice person and then my dad, probably unintentionally puts me down because if i were neurotypical what he says would work and make me say nicer things but since he apparently cant accept that i am not NT his way of communication does not work with me.

So i just wanted to post this and hear if anyone has any suggestions or any similar experiences?

BTW Sorry for my bad grammar and spelling, english is my 3rd language.



SocOfAutism
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29 Jul 2015, 10:40 am

I'm sorry you're going through this. You need to stand firm. I would break the diagnosis down to your parents in simple terms. It means, X, Y, and Z. Focus on whatever it means specifically to you. That you CAN do, this, this and that easily or better than most people and that you CAN'T do this, this, and that as well as most people.

You can say it's not a sickness, there's nothing wrong with it, and you didn't choose it. It just helps to understand what kind of person you are. It's like saying a person has a creative personality. They are good at painting, music, and writing. They are not good at math, science, and history. No matter what you do, you cannot change what this creative person is good at and bad at. They can work to improve the weak areas, but they will never be as good at them as they are in their talent areas. That is the same as with you and your PDD-NOS. Please explain that good things come with PDD-NOS.

I don't know you specifically, so I can't say what your talent areas are. It may be that you have a different way of thinking that helps with problem solving. Maybe you are able to hear notes or see color tones that others can't. I mean, I don't know. I'm just saying that I would be willing to bet money that you have talents that you wouldn't want to trade it if you sat down and thought about it. Tell your parents about them and make those things the focus.



kraftiekortie
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29 Jul 2015, 10:43 am

English is my first language. I have no other language, basically.

You should be proud to have the ability to write so well in your THIRD language!



slave
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29 Jul 2015, 8:24 pm

teksla wrote:
My diagnose is f84.8, (for you guys in the states it's called pddnos).
The thing i want to post about now is that i feel like my parents, especially my dad aren't taking my diagnose seriously. My dad just pretends im like everyone else and that i should know how to read people and talk to people without being mean but the thing is i cant. I have tried, i've tried so hard but i just cant.
My diagnose makes it really hard for me to understand other people and have normal conversations.
My pddnos is basically like aspergers but i dont wanna say i have aspergers since it has not been diagnosed (so the diagnose i have is kind of a "we know you're different but we didnt have the time to properly test you for aspergers or (high functioning) autism so you get this diagnose instead and can look into it later if you want"
But it is just so frustrating to her your own father tell you that you are a self centered person and that you are rude, and i just want to point out that i do not want to use my diagnose as an excuse to be mean, but it does make me who i am and that makes it so much harder for me to understand people and put myself in their shoes.
But it is just so hard when i am trying to be a good and nice person and then my dad, probably unintentionally puts me down because if i were neurotypical what he says would work and make me say nicer things but since he apparently cant accept that i am not NT his way of communication does not work with me.

So i just wanted to post this and hear if anyone has any suggestions or any similar experiences?

BTW Sorry for my bad grammar and spelling, english is my 3rd language.


may i ask how old you are?



teksla
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29 Jul 2015, 11:56 pm

slave wrote:
teksla wrote:
My diagnose is f84.8, (for you guys in the states it's called pddnos).
The thing i want to post about now is that i feel like my parents, especially my dad aren't taking my diagnose seriously. My dad just pretends im like everyone else and that i should know how to read people and talk to people without being mean but the thing is i cant. I have tried, i've tried so hard but i just cant.
My diagnose makes it really hard for me to understand other people and have normal conversations.
My pddnos is basically like aspergers but i dont wanna say i have aspergers since it has not been diagnosed (so the diagnose i have is kind of a "we know you're different but we didnt have the time to properly test you for aspergers or (high functioning) autism so you get this diagnose instead and can look into it later if you want"
But it is just so frustrating to her your own father tell you that you are a self centered person and that you are rude, and i just want to point out that i do not want to use my diagnose as an excuse to be mean, but it does make me who i am and that makes it so much harder for me to understand people and put myself in their shoes.
But it is just so hard when i am trying to be a good and nice person and then my dad, probably unintentionally puts me down because if i were neurotypical what he says would work and make me say nicer things but since he apparently cant accept that i am not NT his way of communication does not work with me.

So i just wanted to post this and hear if anyone has any suggestions or any similar experiences?

BTW Sorry for my bad grammar and spelling, english is my 3rd language.


may i ask how old you are?


Yeah, I'm 15, but I was diagnosed a few years ago. Since I am 15 I still live at home and that makes it even more difficult that they do not understand me or even try



slave
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30 Jul 2015, 1:21 am

yeah when you are 15 there is not much you can do