Living Together???

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Well I'm looking for some advice from people with more experience than me. My girlfriend and I are going to out of college in a month or two and she just suggested to me that we could get a place together for next year. Now I'm very happy with our relationship and she is one of the few people that I can stand for any length of time, but I'm not sure that I can deal with her being around all time. But then I'm not sure that it would be a problem at all and although I really want to move in together I dont want tp drive her away if I get into one of my "I want to be alone" moods. I just wanted to know if anyone has some helpful advice if they have been in similar situation, did you move in together and if so or not what affect did it have?

I have always lived with anyone that I felt really close to. I would suggest getting a place where you can have some space however. When I first met my wife, she moved into my room, and that was a little close - things were turbulent for quite some time. We were usually on different sleeping schedules though, so that probably helped.

I know that once we moved to our own place, I would sometimes sleep out on the couch, just to avoid having to go to bed - perhaps a way of avoiding her. But all in all, I found that the comfort of having someone around was very pleasing - and far less anoying than dealing with people whom I was not intimate with. It was like losing a part of myself when she booted me.

there is a 40 year old aspie guy who is married but him and his wife live in seperate houses because thats how he likes it and they are both happy with the setup.

My wife's grandparents did that.

You just asked the question I've been wondering. I'm planning on moving in with my BF come like, may, and I just don't know how its gonna be when I go aspie on him. I know there are times when he needs his own space, but if he's feeling cuddly or something and I'm in an I-have-no-idea-whats-going-on mood, it's gonna be rough.

Doors that can be closed. This is a big deal.
And the understanding to respect a closed door.

How much time do you two spend staying over now? That should give you a guage. I wouldn't even have considered living with anyone else before I met my husband, but he moved me in with him three weeks after I met him. I just paid rent on my own place for the next year so I would have the feeling that I could go home if I needed to.

He was smart enough to give me my own space. I always had an office and he would not come in there if the door was closed. Then again, he's very quiet and I'm just as likely to write around him as I am in my office. At one point we looked at a large Victorian house with a garage apartment, but we just moved into a bigger house where I had an office and a library instead.

If you are that unsure, I'd say it's normal. I wasn't sure about anything, but it worked out because we are highly compatible and we have a similar desire for quiet and order. As to my Aspieness, he dealt with it as it came up and it did. I'd say we ran into things on and off for the first year. Of course we had no idea about Asperger's (Lorna Wing had just done her work then) or why I was like I was, but he wasn't emotional about all that. He's very logical himself. That's going to be a huge issue for you if she doesn't deal with your Aspieness in a logical way. If she gets all emotional when something happens, you are going to have a hard time living in a confined space with that.

One thing that has worked for me is that we have separate rooms. Generally, we do sleep in the same room, but it means that during the day, if I want to be alone, I have my own space I can go to. Also, we each have our own CD players and computer etc., so we can each have alone time even though we live together and we don't have to have forced interaction by having to share a computer or argue about it etc.

This is very important for me because I actually get ill if I am forced to be around people all (or even most) of the time.

If money is a problem (as it is for me) we get a 1 bedroom flat and one of us takes the bedroom as the 'main' bedroom and the other uses the living room as a second bedroom. We each have a sofa in our rooms so that we can have friends round without annoying the other if they want alone time.

Sometimes other people, like my family (who seem incapable or unwilling to understand AS) say negative things about it, but it works for us - very well - so I don't really care what others think.

This is just a suggestion - every relationship is different and you have to figure out what works for you.

You definitely should have separate computers. I never thought about that. I guess we never even thought about having the same computer. We have separate offices anyway so we couldn't share a computer even if we wanted to.

That's a big problem for some people....if you've found someone that doesn't have issues when you just need time alone to "regroup" then you should be okay. It's an adjustment...

I have a roommate, and I get along with him very well!

The setup is good if you receive backdoor deliverys

This thread is about two people in a romantic relationship living together, in case you did not know (and maybe you did).

Of course!

I didn't know!

Some of the same issues can apply though. I've lived with guys
(no romantic attachment - I'm pretty straight), where they tended
to not respect my need for privacy. More so than with gf's.

Of course!