How to talk to a shy girl at school?

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modernmax
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20 Aug 2015, 10:02 pm

There's a girl at my school that I want to try to talk to sometime. She's a freshman that seems a little shy and something's off about her. I don't know if it's autistic or not but I don't think she's quite "normal." But she is still kind of pretty and I would like to chat with her sometime and be friends or maybe something more. But the only class we have together is gym, and I don't think that makes for any interesting conversations as far as school subjects go. Any ideas on what I can say to her? (We already know each other's names so no introduction needed.)


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mahendar
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21 Aug 2015, 2:13 am

try to connect with her in social media like Face book or twitter.send her a request and start doing chat with her and if want some more from her then try to connect with her by texting to mobile.



modernmax
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22 Aug 2015, 5:23 pm

Well I tried striking up a conversation that didn't go so well, but I guess it was a start. I noticed she was writing in a notebook, so I went up and asked what she was writing about, and she seemed surprised and clutched it to her chest and said "oh n-n-nothing." I asked if it was for school or personal, and she just went "oh it's nothing" And I just walked away.

So I guess it didn't go so great and I think she was nervous, but I'm sure she would still like for someone to talk to her, so I'll try again. But I still don't know what to say, so suggestions are still really helpful.


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SilverStar
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23 Aug 2015, 9:16 pm

modernmax wrote:
Well I tried striking up a conversation that didn't go so well, but I guess it was a start. I noticed she was writing in a notebook, so I went up and asked what she was writing about, and she seemed surprised and clutched it to her chest and said "oh n-n-nothing." I asked if it was for school or personal, and she just went "oh it's nothing" And I just walked away.

So I guess it didn't go so great and I think she was nervous, but I'm sure she would still like for someone to talk to her, so I'll try again. But I still don't know what to say, so suggestions are still really helpful.


It sounds like she is pretty private and/or was writing something personal. You might have come off as being a little nosey (even if you weren't trying to be), as well. Keep it light and natural, and don't be too persistent with her.



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24 Aug 2015, 4:21 pm

Some advice:
- Never ask a double question. 'Oh nothing' is a social cue that can mean a bunch of things, the best follow up to it is laughing, but not re-enquiring.

- If she enjoys writing, that could be a sign of maturity or abstracteness. The best advice I could give you is to watch Californication. Obviously dont copy the main charecter but it could tech you a little something, and its about writing XD

But don't worry to much. You can't change your path through life, just embrace who you are!



modernmax
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31 Aug 2015, 10:43 pm

Update: She said she likes me and asked me if I wanted to go on a date with her. Of course I said yes and we're going to get lunch Wedneday after school. We also seem to have a lot in common- We both like writing and have the same favorite band. I guess I'll find out what else we both like during our date, which I am very excited for.


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Earthling
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31 Aug 2015, 10:48 pm

Whoa, damn. 8O Nice man. :thumleft:



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01 Sep 2015, 12:39 am

Cool man, hope it goes well.

I'm wondering, how many dates have you been on in the past before and have you ever had a girlfriend before?

I have been on three dates with one girl and had one girlfriend for a short-time (but we broke up before we managed to arrange the first date) but if you want to ask for any help like what I did and how things went for me or anything like that then you can.



modernmax
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02 Sep 2015, 10:01 pm

Another update: I successfully made it into something more, and we are now officially dating. I met her dad today. She said he was overprotective, but he was pretty lax considering he let me in her bedroom for an hour with the door closed for half an hour without bothering to check on us once while we watched tv. We have quite a bit in common. We both like writing, have the same favorite band, dislike police, play videogames, love animals, and like South Park (Which is what we watched.)

I'm pretty proud of myself for starting a good relationship in such a short time, but of course I couldn't have done it without you guys and your valuable advice, so thanks to everyone who offered good suggestions. Wish us a long, happy relationship :D :heart:


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03 Sep 2015, 7:44 am

I'd really like to see a post here from someone who is against letting teenagers date.

At sixteen, I was so ignorant about life the idea of meeting a hypothetical girlfriend's father wasn't particularly scary to me, but I'd never dream of dating because I didn't expect my own parents to take the idea kindly. Besides, inviting someone to their home was out of the question, because it was never presentable enough to have guests.


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