How do you react to being punished/were punished?

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At first, I was ok with it for years as a kid, even at times when my mom overdid it. My mom has ADHD too (not sure about Aspergers).

It's a complicated situation. Basically, my grandma was fine but my grandpa had ADHD and yelled a lot, and may have been mean. Mom picked up that habit and often talks down to people, kinda like I would imagine people used to talk to their slaves. I put up with it for years.

Often what mom did was fine when she punished me. But sometimes, looking back, she REALLY overdid it.

One time, I got punished and it seemed for a stupid reason and I kept arguing, and finally it got to where she had it where I would get a rushed dinner and then be sent to bed. Luckily, she realized that she was getting out of hand, and didn't do it, though she still did send me to bed early.

Another time, I, who normally had gotten A's and B's on stuff, mostly A's, had gotten an F on one test in third grade. It was a difficult, at least for me, reading assignment. I tried my best, but I actually ended up doing worse on the posttest than the pretest. For that, I got put in my room all day. Couldn't watch Magic School Bus.

Another time, also in third grade, I lost my recess, I normally don't, and had told my mom, who always had me report on my day. For that, I was once more put in my room all day.

After these two incidents, I finally went to the school, saying that I was sick of being punished at school AND home, and they told mom to back off and she did.

Another time, perhaps when I was younger, I was extra fidgety one day for the barber. Normally, I was good. However, for whatever reason that day, I was kinda fidgety (perhaps fear of moles getting nicked or whatnot). Normally, I'd gotten a sucker (as a kid) and noticed I didn't this time. When we left, I asked my mom why, perhaps musing that maybe he thought I was getting too old for suckers. She then went and hit me.

Another time, in third or fourth grade, I wanted to go watch the Inspector Gadget movie in theaters. But first, I had to get a blood test. I was a bit nervous around needles. They stuck my arm and couldn't get blood out so they did it again. Each time they kept sticking it, I just kept getting more and more nervous. Finally, after the twelfth time, they gave up. Mom was furious and wouldn't let me go to the movie over it. (Years later, I found out that mom herself is afraid of needles, even more than me, so she was a complete hypocrite.)

Indeed, to be honest, sometimes mom, who has ADHD herself, and who had been somewhat mistreated by her father, was abusive to me physically, and, more often, verbally. I don't recall it as much when I was younger, though perhaps because, back then, I thought it was normal.

My dad, on the other hand, was better, though not without flaws. He often worked long hours, so he often didn't know that mom was being bad. (Though mom, perhaps due to being mistreated by her father, also was unkind to my dad and brother too.) My dad did, though, when I was like 2, spank me when I was afraid of a barber. He had told me the barber's name was Mr. Bayer or something, but I misheard and thought he said Mr. Bear, so I was afraid of a bear and so was reluctant to come. (Years later, when I told him this, he felt kind of foolish as he realized why I'd been acting up.)

In the sixth grade, my teacher took away my pencil sharpener (she was pretty stern and eventually others got mad at her too) and I had to snatch it back from her desk.

Another time, in sixth grade, I was trying to protest homework detentions, even though I never got one, and had started a petition or something. I asked a student to sign it and he, thinking the whole thing was just a joke and not really going to be handed in, signed, in pen, "Give us what we want or we will do something very bad to the school." I crossed out that part,in pencil, as I didn't want that on there. I later handed it in.

The school, even though they knew we were both confused (he thought it was a joke and I had crossed it off in pencil, meaning I didn't want it in there), gave us both an hour detention and said it was very serious and to consider ourselves lucky that were weren't suspended.

I had thought that was ok at the time, though, looking back, feel that was TOTALLY out of line on the school's part and woulda stood up to it could I repeat that day.

In the 7th grade, I was punished because I had had my med dose reduced by our new doctor, who musta been inexperienced, and said he had to or something. Well, that week was a disaster. Some kid, had often been telling me to shut the hell up. Finally, I had, while my meds were reduced, stood up, literally, when he was about to talk to me, and asked "What are you going to tell me, to shut the hell up?". Unfortunately, a teacher thought I had said that to HER and so I got detention, and, even explaining what had happened, the detention had still stood for saying "shut the hell up".

That wasn't the only problem that week. I had, during a code red explanation thing, during the question thing, asked what would happen if Bin Laden and the Taliban came in with guns. (I'd never have done that if my meds were working properly.) They weren't amused.

Nothing of significance happened till 9th grade. Then, during PE on free day, one smart aleck acted up and the teacher punished the WHOLE class by making us do exercises the whole period. I had muttered that she was Dr. Evil for doing this and nearly got detention.

In 10th grade, I had been told to clean out my folder in geometry class. Well, during the Thanksgiving Break, I had gotten busy due to relatives over and had forgotten (plus, schools aren't the lords of your folders). Since I forgot, they came and threw away my stuff. I had tried to get it out of the recycle bin, but they said if I did, I would get a disciplinary study period (which woudla ruined my perfect attendance record) for insubordination. Can't recall what happened, but eventually I somehow got my stuff back anyway.

In the 12th grade, I had a speech instructor who kept whining about my penmanship and even took a point off once on an assignment because of my handwriting. Finally, I got fed up and had typed out the outline. She gave me a 0 on it (my first, I think, 0 in my LIFE) as I hadn't done it handwritten. I was pretty ticked and went to the special ed office to vent.

Meanwhile, at home, my dad had had his schedule at work change so he was home more often. Since I was 17, he decided to be "tough on me". I recall one time I was playing a Harry Potter video game. As you lose stuff if you don't save at certain checkpoints, I was playing,as I think I was near a checkpoint, and he, after calling me, came and went and turned it off and grounded me from it for a freaking week. For this, and other things, I gave him the nickname bully, which I still use from time to time.

I can recall that in either 11th or 12th grade, I was upset, after being somewhere all day for some event with my brother, that they were going to make my bedtime pill at like 8 PM, which I thought was unfair and so protested. Dad said he was banning me from the swing, which I love, the next day. i was so distraught I wanted to take all my pills, which Dad taunted me about. I didn't do it. But dad went adn put a lock on the swing the next day so I couldn't use it. That further turned me against him.

Mainly, I just took punishments, sometimes protesting, but nothing major. That all changed when I became an adult (mainly because I was sick of my parents bossing me past 18 and into my 20's and because I discovered the Founding Fathers and inalienable rights and decided I was being abused for too long and wasn't gonna put up with it anymore.)

So I started to fight back. I'd smart off and stuff. However, mainly due to them starting to ease up on me due to getting older, it wasn't too big a deal. Plus, they didn't charge rent or anything.

On the flip side, when i got sick of mom being her usual bossy and talking to me as though I was some slave bought at an auction, she'd remind me that they didn't charge me rent and if I didn't like what she was doing, I could go live on the streets.

Lately, my relationship with my mom is VERY strained and poor with my dad (mainly due to him not doing much to stop mom and also his criticism of my flaws. I tell him "All I seem to get is negativiity from you and I cannot even see the positive anymore.")

Also, as for being punished on forums, it depends on the issue and also the moment.

I can recall, during going away to college, when I was on a java programming forum, sometimes I'd be utterly baffled on something and have an upcoming deadline and be utterly stuck. (Of course, I had tried to get the instructor's help too, but sometimes didn't get a reply, despite sending about 10 emails.) So I'd ask for help. Sometimes online, they would, but sometimes they'd seem to ignore me and help everyone else. So sometimes I'd shout like this: HELP ME! I HAVE A DEADLINE COMING AND NEED HELP! PLEASE HELP! and that would annoy them (especialy when I bolded, itaicized it, and underlined it and set it to the largest possible font size.) Also, other times, I decided to help others to help free up the people to get to me. This worked, sometimes, but other times I didn't quite know what I was doing and was told off by the mods for giving "bad advice". Other times, I'd give too much help, correct or not, and be told off for "spoonfeeding".

Eventually, I got panicky when I was told I was near a temp ban and so panicked and made a new account, which they found out (IP tracking perhaps, though I doubt that, due to something that happened later). So I got banned for a week.

Things were ok, but tense for a while. However, after trying to fix my ways, one night, I lost several reputation points
for allegedly spoonfeeding. I was enraged (I was trying to be a mod, so I could get ban powers and ban all the spammers infesting the forum (which I'd caught 1000 of and reported to the admins.) and this neg rep thing really hurt my reputation.

I kinda got mad and said that when I found out who did that, they are dead. I meant figurately, but the mods, who weren't my biggest fans, accused me of issuing a death threat and perma banned me.

I felt that that, and still do, was unjust and so made a new account sometime later, and they don't appear to be onto that one.

As for that forum, looking back, I kinda realized that, save the perma ban, I deserved most of what they did to me (though,as a stressed student, at the time the stuff had been going on, I kinda saw them as bullies. Guess how one reacts to punishment also goes with time, as one may later feel the punishers were just even though one thought it injustice at the time or one may have thought the punishers were just when, later, one reaizes that the punishers were out of iine.)

At the Jedi Council Forums,I fell in love with this character named Ahsoka Tano. However,due to her being in the Clone Wars Series but not episode III, they automatically assumed she'd been killed off and that her death pushed her master Anakin Skywalker closer to the Dark Side.

I, however, thought that her death not being mentioned in Episode III seemed kinda odd too and hence her death would break cannon and hence there had to be some other explanation.

I was laughed at by many of the other users, including many mods. However, I kept offering theories and fanfics. This annoyed them as I kept lacing fanfics with the cannon. I kept shooting my mouth off about Ahsoka, even doing victory chants when she survived another season. My antics got me lots of temp bans. (I had even had alternate accounts, which are allowed there, to booster support, which, being used the way they were, got me busted for wasting bandwidth to have conversations with myself to support a position.)

Eventually, after like getting a four month ban (I had had a two month ban, but got it extended by pretending to be someone else and then using the alternate account to send a PM to an ally about a new forum I made.) I came back.

That was around the end of Season 5, where Ahsoka DID make it out alive and many of my opponents had to eat their words.

(Ahsoka is back again, and I think she is more likely to die this time due to this one taking place between Episodes 3 and 4 and her being in the Alliance here but not mentioned in 4. Though, of course, I hope she still somehow makes it.)

As for most of the bans there, looking back, I felt I deserved most of them (though I didn't see it at the time), but still feel the mods were a bit unkind to my position (especially as I was right in the end.)

About a year ago, I rediscovered something I had been obssesed with for years but that had been out of my life for a while: Land Before Time.

After catching up on all the movies and the TV Series, I found another character who needed protection from the status quo future idea of him: Chomper.

You see, poor Chomper had had the bad luck to be born a T-Rex in a herbivore world. Though the character was freindly, the others kept insisting that sooner or later, he'd have to turn on herbivores. I kept pointing out that the main character Littlefoot, who lost hsi mom to a T-Rex, would flip out and possibly go crazy if one of his good freinds starting killing other leaf eaters mothers. They had siad, "Taht's just life."

I kept pointing out that there were other precedents for such a thing (Diego in Ice Age, Simba in Lion King, that orange cat in the American Tale series, etc.) but they kept shooting me down. I even pointed out that Chomper could even hunt other carnviores yet they shot that down too, saying other carnviores weren't nutritious enough and that it was too dangerous. I pointed out that Triceratops and Stegosaurus were dangerous too so their argument was silly. But they wouldn't listen.

So I started doing what I did with the Ahsoka stuff, rambling on anyway, lacing fanfics with reality, and stuff. Eventually, after that, plus a slip of the tongue (they won't let you delete posts at that forum and really restrict editing according to the rules) in a political part of the forum, I got a major warning.

Eventually, I panicked and made an alternate account. This got me a week ban. (I had pointed out how, technically, having an alternate account wasn't forbidden in the rules and that some forums like the Jedi Council forums let you have them. They said i shoulda understood and kept the ban up, though they did alternate the rules anyway officially.)

When I got back, things were ok, but tense, though, my fear, especially as i recalled how things were going the way they had at the java forum before teh perma ban hit, kept asking if I was near a ban and how I could avoid one. Eventualy, this irked them and they told me to stop or else it would be a self-fullfilling prophecy.

Also, I had befreinded an Asperger's user they were trying to keep quiet. he had gone off topc a lot and gotten banned. Also, for whatever reason, he had made a clone copy of the forum and had actual users names, though, it seemed more like weirdness or just a joke than an actual attempt to identiy theft, but they had accused him of such and gotten him ocked out of that forum and I had somehow found that forum and innocently pointed it out. The mods were FURIOUS.

Not that during all of this issue, I didn't have my backers. Much like on the java forums and the Jedi Council Forums, I had a few allies. One of them thought the mods were being kinda harsh wiht me.

Eventually, things seeemed tense and quiet for a while, with a lot of the forum pretending I didn't exist. The real problem was that Ducky123 user, who hated Chomper and was politically opposite of me and was unkind to me. He seemed to get away with stuff. I'm sure he got told off, but I, perhaps being newer, seemed to be getting told off more.

Eventually, I decided to characterize everyone on how they liked Chomper and posted a screenshot of this list. Ducky123 was particularly annoyed about being called "Grumpy liberal Chomper hater" and some other users weren't happy either, so the mods went and perma banned me.

I felt this was too much (Ducky123 had mocked me by posting an image of a topic area, whihc the threads, mostly by me, and I'm sure it was to mock me, as Ducky123 even openly admitted to being bad to me because he thought I was "a bad influence".

I had snuck back in, trying to pose as a southern woman who loved Yellow Bellies. It didn't work due to an IP tracker and I got an IP ban. I was kept out for a long while, but eventually learned about the Tor browser, and so snuck back in.

The previous bans on that forum I felt were kinda mixed. Some of it was my fault and some was the mods and Ducky123 being unkind.

Other times, it was quite clear, like on politicla groups, taht some admins were unjustly punishing me. They were punishing me for doing and saying what the leadership had said, but, since I was a commoner I guess, they thought it woud look bad and make us look bad (despite the group being a secret Facebook group!! !!) and so they banned me a few times unjustly.

That time, I reacted to being punished by forming a mutiny behind their backs and even creating a secret page (though some other guys, luckily on my side, found out about it.) Eventually, several members joined with me and we weakened that guy's influence.

However, another guy, who had been also annoying, though less than the first guy, got more power and was kinda censoring me. I whined about him in private. I'm still going along...for now, but do have my backup forum in case he gets out of hand. Again, I do have a slight mutiny group going on should I need to use it.

Lately, at another conservative place, most of the people were fine, except one guy didn't like me too much. Sadly, he's the owner of the thing. He kept sending me angry PMs and stuff. True, sometimes I got outta line, but I think he's kind of a control freak.

Eventually, he was warning me about stuff and this even annoyed a few other users. He had told me I was near a perma ban.

Things were quiet for a few weeks. Then, one day, I got into a silly argument with a user and he just out of the blue perma banned me.

I and another user thought it was overkill, but as I'm IP banned, it was hard to get back in.

(Though I did lately due to being at a differnet IP. Before, I couldn't even with Tor due to his thing being on a server of sorts, whcih doesn't work quite well with Tor.)

So, I guess, in conclusion, I've reacted many ways to punishment. I've taken it (even when I shouldn't of at times), I've ignored it, and usually gotten more, I've tried to go around it, I've protested it, I've later accepted it after initally feeling ti was unjust, I've sometimes tried to form a mutiny against the punisher, and other times I've just engaged in civil disobedience.

I used to be more accepting of punishment but lately I've been more defiant due to my belief in self-governance and inalienable rights.

(Oh, by the way, another thing I keep getting punished for is yacking too much in a thread and also posting too much, something harder to control due to my disability.)

I can also recall at the Huffington Post, they were censoring LOADS of people, though those with opposing views were downright bullied and it was open about how bad it was (people were whining when too many opposing views were getting through, saying there must be a mod on my side.) Eventually, I got so pissed off at the corruption that I told them to go shove it and said I'd be honored if they banned me, which they obliged. That time, I didn't care how many rules I was breaking as they just made them up to suit their agenda, claiming phony terms of service violations.

I used to be too much in submissive move concerninng punishments, even the unjust ones, but now, I'm closer ot rebel mode, being defiant even to more just punishments. I think I'm in an interum phase and hope I switch to a happy medium where I don't take crap but also take responsibility for TRUE bad actions.

It's molded me into a cold and bitter person, that's for damn sure.

It taught me to listen and follow rules and that if you didn't follow them, you got in trouble and something bad would happen if you didn't listen. I always had to regret what I did that got me into trouble. But I also thought adults made rules to control everyone and to punish us just for fun to watch us suffer and that was why people made rules who were in authority. Certain punishments quit working on me of course as I got older because I got used to them. "Oh my Barbies were taken away again, doh, oh well it's only for a few days and I will just do these other things I have." I go to time out, "oh I will just think and day dream and it will be all over." I am in my room, "oh I will just read books or play with my Barbies or play a board game or do a puzzle until my mom says I can come out." I was like a typical child.

I also remember whenever I would be told to not do something, I would ask why and they wouldn't tell me why so I would do it anyway to see what would happen and I would get in trouble. I always thought why couldn't they just tell me. I didn't realize every time that there would be a consequence if I did it. But I eventually learned in my teens because I got tired of getting into trouble so I thought "I might get in trouble if I do this because they did tell me not to."

And I also thought other kids were stupid for breaking rules and complaining about a consequence. They knew the rules and broke them anyway and now they are upset and saying the teacher is mean? Just follow the fricken rules jeez, how hard is that. I was actually broken to follow the rules. My mom had trained me because of her being consistent with her rules at home and those other kids were probably never taught due to inconsistencies and their parents not following through. Then they all of a sudden had a teacher who was consistent and followed through and actually made them *gasp* follow the rules. So they were not used to that so they thought the adult was mean. I couldn't see any meanness at all and wondered how was my teacher mean, he isn't mean. That was because I was taught at home to follow them so this was no different to me at school so it was normal. I don't ever recall complaining about being in trouble unless I felt it was unfair and there was injustice. For example a kid picking on me so I break a rule and shove the kid after telling him over and over to leave me alone. I felt that was unfair or other kids being allowed to do something and nothing happens so I do it too and I get in trouble. I fought it and argued and still did what other kids did continuing trying to be normal and be treated like everyone else so punishing me didn't work and my school thought I had behavior issues. The simple solution was make everyone follow the rules jeez and punish them too whenever they break them instead of me only. That was my issue right there, the injustice. At home I was treated equal and the rules applied to all of us so my parents didn't have any problems with me and no behavior issues at home.

But I hated being punished as a child and being in trouble and having anything taken from me which is why I responded well to punishments. I also didn't like being yelled at either which is what also made me listen because I didn't want the yelling.

I had LOTS of Aspie meltdowns with my parents when I was punished cuz I usually never understood why I was being punished or thought that they didn't understand me or the situation. I don't really get punished nowadays but when I got in trouble at work I kind of just listened & was polite.

I have real problem with conflict so I'd usualy just shutdown. I do remember on several occasions my mum telling me off and being able to make her laugh to diffuse the situation. I don't get punished nowadays but if my GF is angry with me it goes 1 of 2 ways. 1. Shutdown 2. Lose the plot and drown out my GF coz I can shout louder ( don't shout anything constructive though - "Shut Up" , "Your doing my head in")

I've never responded to punishment very well. I'd always get yelled at for some of my autistic traits and behaviours. Sometimes, I got a spanking. The spankings only taught me that if someone was making me angry that it was okay to inflict pain on them. I got rid of that mindset when I was in my teens. I still don't respond to yelling because it brings back flashbacks of my upbringing. I can be very hard to deal with when I get stuff that has to do with my special interests taken away from me as my job coach and my mum found out the hard way, this year. Don't you dare take away my Schultz helmets. I got the helmet back right away.

I hardly ever got punished. But I remember one time when me and a classmate were talking in the hall, and were sent back to where we started. I actually loved that because it made me feel like a normal kid. Otherwise, most of the time I hated getting scolded and would protest vehemently.

It very much depends on my evaluation of the fairness and intent of the punishment.

Punishment that is disproportionate or arbitrary inspires unyielding rebellion and a desire for revenge. My rage in such situations can be scary.
Punishment that is proportionate and evenhanded is OK.

I can endure a lot by withdrawing into my mind.
I tend neither to forgive, nor to forget injustice and I see abuse of power as worse than ordinary misbehavior.

DinoMongoosePenguin, a Brief summary would be helpful, we really don't need the whole life story. God damn, what am I doing with my life, I just read that entire thing.