How would you feel if your son chose this?

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I'd be very supportive of him.

How would I feel? Like I just bought him something that makes him happy and exercises his imaginative play. From a parenting point of view, that's usually a good thing.

I'm pretty sure that that is a girl, and that the dad may be delusional.

looks like a boy to me...slightly feminine features, but plenty of girls have slightly masculine features, and delusional about what?

Seems as though it was more directed at his viewers than his young children.

"Choose your sexuality"

The kids are, what, about 3 and 5? Rough guess there, but I don't think either of them knew what he was saying.

I think he's more for getting liked for being a "progressive" parent.

Anyway. I have no children nor intend on having any but I don't see why he can't have a doll. Though his friends might make fun of him, maybe, I'm not sure how kids that age (what age?) are.

When I was a kid, if you gave me the choice between a doll and a toy car, I'd have been disappointed. If the doll did something interesting, I would have chosen the doll. If the car was remote controlled or had moving parts, I'd have taken the car. It had nothing to do with my sexuality. Maybe this kid chose that doll because he'd seen that character in a cartoon, whatever, and wanted to play out some of the scenes. I think it's no big deal. If my son chose that doll, I'd ask him why he didn't want something more interesting. Why the father went on about sexuality, I don't know and I don't think he needed to say that to the kids because that's not something they need to care about at that age. Just one of those people trying to be cool by being open. Some people talk too much.

It seems like the dad is using his kids as props in a narcissistic play about what a cool dude he is. Why is he making this video? Why are these details of their lives a suitable vehicle for PR? Is this just life in the age of the Kardashians?

When those kids are older and figure out what he is doing, they will probably not be too thrilled. Or maybe they will be just like him and he will find that they are using him as a prop in their self-centered dramas.

To answer the direct question "how would you feel?" I would think it was interesting and I would ask him what he liked about the doll. I don't see a reason to be either happy or unhappy about choice of toys.

I don't mind this father's choice. If you think men should marry women, you give your kid gender-free toys such as legos, or gender-affirming toys specific to their sex. If you don't care about men confining their sexual focus to women, well then do what this guy did... which you know probably won't end with toys, and go on to literature, music, clothes, other things that reconfirm the identity this kid (who doesn't know any better) is exploring.

I don't know how aware this guy is of the fluidity of both gender and sexual orientation. And there's an entire generation of his kind who are going to be raising kids this way. Which is fine, if that's what they want.

I would feel neutral about it. Its a 'small world' toy which is a prop for imaginative play, a method for exploring individual ideas, and not a prelude to coming out as LGBT. This is how children make sense of their world, a little boy choosing to play with a cartoon figurine should not be automatically linked with gender/sexual orientation.

This clip is more about the dad breaking with tradition and for whatever reason needing to share this video of him and his children (one of whom is not clothed appropriately) with the world.

If every preschool boy that has pushed a dolls pram, or pretended to cook breakfast in the wendy house is viewed as potentially gay (instead of simply acting out lifestyle roles in an attempt to understand them better), that is representative of commonly held preconceptions in society, and not at all representative of a child's sexual orientation.

Last edited by Amity on 24 Aug 2015, 7:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

It doesn't matter what kids play with when they are young.

When it comes down to "crunch time," biology takes over.

Exactly.

I know some people who go so crazy with these gender and sexuality impositions on kids that they won't dress little girls in pink or won't let little boys have toys that are weapons.

I'd think that he has a thing for pretty girls.

I couldn't listen to the clip because I'm in company.

That's an odd video. The father seems to be suppressing displeasure at his son's choice. I mean, why make the video at all, why make such a big deal of it? He seemed like he was trying to convince himself.

The kid's choice was fine. What difference does a toy's gender make.

Just because they don't understand doesn't mean they won't remember. If one of those kids, a decade later, turns out to be gay, they'll know they can come out and not be rejected. And if one of them happens to be trans, they could be reaping the benefit of his attitude a lot sooner, because trans issues often affect kids that age. (Although it gets worse at puberty, a lot of trans people report their first awareness of their gender identity occurred as a preschooler. And more and more trans kids are coming out at very young ages and getting help instead of suffering in silence.) Even if they're cis heterosexual (the most likely outcome), if a friend comes out as LGBT, they'll probably be much more supportive.

I think he's an awesome Dad. And so what if he's trying to get kudos from the Internet? He deserves it. I've heard so many stories about parents, even in this day and age, who would freak out if their boy chose to get a doll. Even some people who think of themselves as 'progressive'. Plus, people are more likely to do something if they know someone else who did it. Research hs shown it's a lot harder to be the first person expressing a dissenting opinion as opposed to the second or third person. If someone watches this, it might give them the courage to do the same with their kid, and it might make a big difference for that kid.

If your kid has to see you in a video from years ago to know that you will love and support them no matter what their sexuality and gender identity, you have bigger problems than can be fixed with a video, I think.

As for supporting others, why can't he make a personal statement about his views and not involve his kids?

I can imagine such a video being used by enemies at school in a year or two in ways neither the dad or the kid can currently imagine. As a dad, I make a point of not using my children's real names or images whenever I feel the need to talk about parenting online. It seems to me like a matter of respect. When they are older, they can make their own choices about how to represent themselves.

I agree with the sentiment, I just think it's on odd way of expressing it.