How Can I Increase My Attractiveness

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The Grand Inquisitor
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24 Aug 2015, 9:25 pm

Alright, so I wouldn't say I'm the worst looking guy in the world, but I do believe I'm below average. Maybe a 3 or 4 out of 10. I've never had a girlfriend or anything like that, and I'm pretty sure no one has ever been particularly attracted to me. I feel as though my looks are a hindrance where finding romance is concerned, as I have a few noticeable flaws (lazy eye, crooked teeth, up-turned nose), but I don't want them to be something girls have to look past, I want them to be an asset.

My ultimate (and hopefully realistic) goal here isn't to become Channing Tatum, but I wish my appearance would make at least a few girls look twice, especially girls I am attracted to (I'm not looking for a model, but I do have standards).

I'm just kinda over feeling undesirable, and I wish I knew what to do about it. Your input is greatly appreciated.



SilverStar
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24 Aug 2015, 9:56 pm

There is only so much we can do to improve our looks (without expensive procedures, that is), but here are a couple of suggestions:

Make sure you are clean and well groomed
Make sure your clothes are in good shape, and in relatively current fashion (they don't have to be expensive name brands, though).
Think positive
Work on your confidence
Improve your social skills
And the single most important thing...get out there where the women are at. You can't meet them if you are never around them.



Rhapsody
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24 Aug 2015, 10:10 pm

How do you feel about makeup? Because, I swear, it is magical. A quick google search found ways to make lazy eye less apparent and some nose fixes.

Anyway SilverStar gave you some awesome tips! One thing about the clothes: make sure they fit well! Them being out of style isn't as bad as if they don't fit. My brother dresses like he popped out of a fifties television show, but the girls still swarm him because he wears clothing that looks nice and fits well. Whatever you decide to wear, though, make sure you feel awesome in it. That confidence will shine through, and it's attractive.

I know girls with upturned noses can make them less apparent by remembering to tip their head down and to be sure not to smile too broadly. If you're pretty tall I don't think it would make much difference, though. Sorry.



The Grand Inquisitor
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24 Aug 2015, 10:12 pm

Thanks for the reply. Those are good suggestions. I do keep myself well-groomed. I have a reasonable selection of good clothes, but I could probably stand to extend my wardrobe a bit. Positive thinking's a tough one, but I'm working on it. Working on my confidence is even harder, and I'm not entirely sure how to boost it. I believe my social skills are relatively good mentally, but my physical execution is awkward and leaves a lot to be desired. Not entirely sure how to fix that either. As for meeting women, I think I'd be more inclined to do so if I didn't feel as though I have a 99% chance of rejection.

Yeah, my mentality isn't the best, but I guess that's partially due to my experiences with women in the past, and how they always find most other guys more physically attractive than me. The desire to better my looks isn't ALL about the outcome with women, but also to feel better about myself.



The Grand Inquisitor
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24 Aug 2015, 10:20 pm

Rhapsody wrote:
How do you feel about makeup? Because, I swear, it is magical. A quick google search found ways to make lazy eye less apparent and some nose fixes.

Anyway SilverStar gave you some awesome tips! One thing about the clothes: make sure they fit well! Them being out of style isn't as bad as if they don't fit. My brother dresses like he popped out of a fifties television show, but the girls still swarm him because he wears clothing that looks nice and fits well. Whatever you decide to wear, though, make sure you feel awesome in it. That confidence will shine through, and it's attractive.

I know girls with upturned noses can make them less apparent by remembering to tip their head down and to be sure not to smile too broadly. If you're pretty tall I don't think it would make much difference, though. Sorry.


Being a guy, make-up doesn't appeal to me greatly, but if it does the job, I might be willing to give it a go. I wore concealer when I had bad acne in my earlier teens, and a couple of people could tell I was wearing it, so that was kinda embarrassing. I do think I should probably take a look at my wardrobe, but I do have some pretty decent clothes at the moment. I'm almost 6ft tall, so I'm not sure tilting my head will do much

On another note, I'm in my profile picture, so if you're wondering what I look like, that's me.



Rhapsody
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24 Aug 2015, 10:33 pm

Ah, yeah, that makes sense. Good natural makeup is something people shouldn't be able to tell you're wearing, but that takes a good deal of practice to get right. Golly, you're tall, okay head tilting won't work. Only other thing I can think of would be to try a new hairstyle, or maybe a more striking glasses frame? If you make a part of your face that you like be the focal point that's what people will see.



SilverStar
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24 Aug 2015, 11:11 pm

Rhapsody wrote:
Ah, yeah, that makes sense. Good natural makeup is something people shouldn't be able to tell you're wearing, but that takes a good deal of practice to get right. Golly, you're tall, okay head tilting won't work. Only other thing I can think of would be to try a new hairstyle, or maybe a more striking glasses frame? If you make a part of your face that you like be the focal point that's what people will see.


I'm not sure about the makeup, but I was thinking the same thing with the hair style and glasses. If you decide on getting some more stylish glasses, ask someone else (preferrably a woman), what they think, before you settle on a pair.



The Grand Inquisitor
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25 Aug 2015, 2:23 am

Well I am aspiring to grow my beard longer so I guess that kinda counts



izzeme
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25 Aug 2015, 2:34 am

You don't look too unattractive; more than a 4/10.

the way you 'carry' yourself is a lot more important really: stand straight up, don't look at your shoes, that kind of behaviour



The Grand Inquisitor
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25 Aug 2015, 3:28 am

izzeme wrote:
You don't look too unattractive; more than a 4/10.

the way you 'carry' yourself is a lot more important really: stand straight up, don't look at your shoes, that kind of behaviour


Thanks. I don't think I'm TOO unattractive, but I want to actually be attractive to some people rather than being ok or worse to everyone.

I know what you mean. I do my best to exhibit confident attributes, but my efforts are thwarted by my awkward pgysicality, even at my most confident. I'm not sure if it's because of my Asperger's or my turned eye and its lack of 3D perception, but wither way, I'm awkward, and I don't know how to change it.



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25 Aug 2015, 8:04 am

Hey bro, I really don't see what all the hype is about, going by your profile photo you look like a pretty good looking dude (no homo).

I don't think you should start wearing makeup (if that was a serious answer), hiding from your flaws will only make you more worried about them showing. I think what you said about turning your flaws into an asset is smart. The only way to really do that is to just embrace them, joke about them show people you're not really bothered by such petty things.

There are only so many things a guy can do. Someone listed off most of them but make sure you keep up with yourself...and it looks like you do, you seem clean shaven and well groomed.

Sounds like you really need to work on your confidence because you are no 4/10, just looking at your profile pic I wouldn't have guessed women find you unattractive. Do you weight lift? Lifting has helped me make some awesome changes in my body, which in return gave me a ton more confidence.



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25 Aug 2015, 9:07 am

OP, how tall are you? Height also plays a roll on how attractive you are to the opposite sex. If you're 5 ft 6 and under, you're not going to be perceived as attractive. Although some girls may find you cute if you're short and have a good looking face. Attractiveness isn't all in the face, a lot of it is in your body type. Generally speaking, tall skinny guys are more attractive then shorter fatter guys, although this may not be the preference for all women.

OP judging by your face alone, I don't think your terrible looking. Maybe your problem like so many aspie guys before you is that your demeanor makes you come off as socially awkward or distant, maybe you have a weird voice as well. You'd be surprised on how your demeanor can make you more attractive to women.



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25 Aug 2015, 10:04 am

Looks are not the primary driving factor as to what is attractive to females.

Confidence > Looks (when it comes to a male trying to obtain a female)

Followed by various combinations of cleanliness, self-responsibility, fashion-style, fame, wealth, maturity, and being able to make her feel comfortable/secure & wanting to be around or with you.

They tend to notice little things more so than major things (what kinds of clothes you wear, how you wear said clothes, whether your hair has been combed or styled or not, you confidence-levels, etc).

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
but wither way, I'm awkward, and I don't know how to change it.

You could try getting a Hypno-Therapist to help re-program you or do Self-Hyponsis like Edgar Cayce did.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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25 Aug 2015, 1:44 pm

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

I have worked out in the past, and I've been thinking about starting up again. Quite honestly, my body could stand to benefit from some toning up, and I'd imagine getting back into gym would help my confidence at least a little.

Height-wise, I'm about 5'11, and I find it pretty rare that I'd meet a girl who is taller than me, so I don't think my height is/will be an issue.

Hypnosis is certainly something I'm open to, especially if I can get it done with recordings or what have you. I'm not exactly sure how I would search for one to strengthen my demeanour, but if I could find what I needed, I'd definitely give it a go.



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25 Aug 2015, 2:54 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Thanks for the replies, everyone.

I have worked out in the past, and I've been thinking about starting up again. Quite honestly, my body could stand to benefit from some toning up, and I'd imagine getting back into gym would help my confidence at least a little.

Height-wise, I'm about 5'11, and I find it pretty rare that I'd meet a girl who is taller than me, so I don't think my height is/will be an issue.

Hypnosis is certainly something I'm open to, especially if I can get it done with recordings or what have you. I'm not exactly sure how I would search for one to strengthen my demeanour, but if I could find what I needed, I'd definitely give it a go.

If you want to attract mature women, you should strive to look manly. That means lifting weights and getting an athletic build. I don't mean super massive, but more of the action hero look. Like Robert Downey Junior in Iron Man. Now, honestly if you get skinny and dress like a hipster, you'll probably get more attention from girls, but they will more likely be younger and immature.You have to find your target audience so to speak. I do better with women in their late 20s to late 30s. I'd actually advice you to talk to women that are 25 years and older, preferably 28 and older. A lot of girls go through a bad boy stage and that dwindles down usually when they are in their late 20s. This isn't the case for everyone of course, however I've seen it all too often.