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kraftiekortie
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29 Aug 2015, 9:57 am

Platitudes, by implication, mean that one is being hypocritical in some way--or one is being naive and superficial.

I just wanted to set the record straight.

Because something is cliched doesn't mean it's not applicable. Sometimes, it's a cliche for a reason.



babybird
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29 Aug 2015, 10:01 am

I always get a picture in my head of a dessert when I hear or see the word "platitude".


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29 Aug 2015, 10:02 am

b9 wrote:
why does everyone need to explain why they think the way they do?


It's the topic of this thread!

If you express yourself concisely, as kraftie did, you are misunderstood in an unsympathetic reading because of a lack of detail. If you try to delve into things more deeply, as I did, you are a windbag and have thrown up a wall of text that few dare enter...

And yet we would like to be understood and dislike being misunderstood, so what to do but try?



b9
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29 Aug 2015, 10:04 am

babybird wrote:
I always get a picture in my head of a dessert when I hear or see the word "platitude".

like "platter" and "infinitude" mixed together.



babybird
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29 Aug 2015, 10:07 am

No, like a Meringue.


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b9
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29 Aug 2015, 10:12 am

Adamantium wrote:
b9 wrote:
why does everyone need to explain why they think the way they do?


It's the topic of this thread!

If you express yourself concisely, as kraftie did, you are misunderstood in an unsympathetic reading because of a lack of detail. If you try to delve into things more deeply, as I did, you are a windbag and have thrown up a wall of text that few dare enter...

And yet we would like to be understood and dislike being misunderstood, so what to do but try?

as long as i understand what i am doing, that is all that matters to me. everyone else is like birds in the trees that can flit off unexpectedly due to some unknown perturberance.

people spend their lives fretting over what others think of them and it is a waste of time to the max as far as i am concerned.



b9
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29 Aug 2015, 10:19 am

babybird wrote:
No, like a Meringue.

i did not notice the extra "s"
maybe an amalgam of "platter" with "attitude" then.



kraftiekortie
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29 Aug 2015, 10:30 am

Nothing wrong with a little levity at times. I'm a Court Jester, after all :jester:

We all want to be understood. We all hate to be misunderstood.

The best thing to do in a dialogue is to ask the person to explain his/her self before one forms conclusions.

It doesn't always happen that way. Snap impressions are inevitable. Basically, one should not set one's first impressions in stone; they are often not correct.



babybird
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29 Aug 2015, 10:34 am

I have neither the time nor have I the inclination to feel like I have to have to explain myself most of the time.

As long as it not about a matter of great importance I don't really care if I am misunderstood.


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glebel
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29 Aug 2015, 10:51 am

Another factor that you need to bear in mind is that when you have a controversy with a NT, it may not be you at all. They can project whatever they want to into the conversation you are having just because they are stressed, sad, or whatever. I just had a run in with two individuals at my church last Sunday, where they got into my face about nothing because they were stressed. I got so upset I had to leave. I went over and over what I said, and I said nothing wrong. Later on, one of our elders called me and made excuses for these two 'because something is wrong'. Welcome to my world.


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starkid
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29 Aug 2015, 11:27 am

glebel wrote:
Another factor that you need to bear in mind is that when you have a controversy with a NT, it may not be you at all. They can project whatever they want to into the conversation you are having just because they are stressed, sad, or whatever.

That has happened to me. On this forum. Maybe it's a mostly NT thing, but it definitely isn't an only NT thing.



kraftiekortie
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29 Aug 2015, 11:51 am

It's a HUMAN thing. And somewhat of an ego thing, too, and somewhat of a projection thing as well.

The key, from my viewpoint, is to make yourself clear if somebody is unclear about something.

If they don't want to listen, just withdraw from the conversation--you know the person misunderstanding you has motivations other than hearing the truth.



glebel
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29 Aug 2015, 1:22 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's a HUMAN thing. And somewhat of an ego thing, too, and somewhat of a projection thing as well.

The key, from my viewpoint, is to make yourself clear if somebody is unclear about something.

If they don't want to listen, just withdraw from the conversation--you know the person misunderstanding you has motivations other than hearing the truth.

Withdrawal only works if they let you. These two people I recently had a run in with are the types that won't admit their wrong, so they keep going after you, which is another thing that makes me upset. So basically, I fled. And, for the record, these two have a bad habit of causing trouble with people, so it's not just me. :(


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olympiadis
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29 Aug 2015, 2:29 pm

You can observe uncertainty being used for "gaming" quite easily with politicians.
A politician may say "let me be clear..." and then make a statement with absolutely no specifics or defined parameters.
Then when someone opposes them, they can say that those people misunderstood their message, basically saying that their own message was "right", and anyone who disagreed was "wrong" and their misunderstanding is attributed to their own character flaws. "Character assassination" is the rule in politics, and uncertainty and misunderstanding is the primary fuel for it.



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30 Aug 2015, 3:44 am

Being misunderstood is part and parcel of having a different mindset to most people...
We tend to be overly honest which makes a lot of NTs suspicious...
We really can't win...


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Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


kraftiekortie
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30 Aug 2015, 9:14 am

Most people value blunt honesty--even NT's.

It is an art to be bluntly honest without offending people. I don't always get it right--and it's because I get too emotional about things, and tend to want to convey my own take on things.

I am one who tries to make the attempt to put blunt terms in "other ways" which leave open the option for debates, rather than the "blunt term" being absolutely not open for debate.

I seek to leave open the possibility that the other person might be right. I make sure I use "qualifying terms" to make sure that I don't absolutely believe in something--to the exclusion of other viewpoints which might, after all, be right, and mine actually wrong.