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asplint
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28 Aug 2015, 10:23 am


Wouldn't it be nice if we had job alarms just like we have burglar and fire alarms?

Some things are obvious. For example, if you're a computer programmer and you've been asked to compile a program that does X, Y and Z, you find out soon enough.

Other things are not quite so obvious. Like how your co-workers, customers and boss perceive you. Keep in mind that people generally won't go out of their way to tell you how they feel about you. Especially if it's negative. (Want to know why? See below.)

Yet other people's opinions of you matter at least as much as your technical ...



KayceeX
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29 Aug 2015, 9:20 pm

asplint wrote:
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Wouldn't it be nice if we had job alarms just like we have burglar and fire alarms?

Some things are obvious. For example, if you're a computer programmer and you've been asked to compile a program that does X, Y and Z, you find out soon enough.

Other things are not quite so obvious. Like how your co-workers, customers and boss perceive you. Keep in mind that people generally won't go out of their way to tell you how they feel about you. Especially if it's negative. (Want to know why? See below.)

Yet other people's opinions of you matter at least as much as your technical ...


It already exists. It's called "reviews from your boss" and "input from your coworkers". Like the dude who shot the young VA reporter and her cameraman live on air last week. He'd received oodles of input from his previous employers.



arrose100
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02 Sep 2015, 3:38 pm

Everything you have written is true to my experience. By the time any of these start to happen there's little chance of redemption and sadly there's no protection from this "discrimination" (read the boards here).

You might try having a discussion with someone in HR who is open to people who are different. To kind, open-minded people there's a gulf between people who are intentionally argumentative, arrogant and difficult, and those who react this way, or come across this way unintentionally. If you can find someone who cares, they can explain these situations, and mediate a bit for you.



alex
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04 Sep 2015, 9:37 am

Bosses and coworkers don't always share their grievances with you at work. Especially if they think the problems are obvious


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09 Sep 2015, 5:55 pm

alex wrote:
Bosses and coworkers don't always share their grievances with you at work. Especially if they think the problems are obvious


That's true, in my case. There have been several times when the supervisor/boss has called me into their office to discuss complaints (or their notice) of me talking to myself out loud. Each time, I told them it would never happen again. Has my job been threatened because of that alone? Never.


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Dephnitt_Leonda
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09 Dec 2015, 7:20 am

Nyep, it happened to me... :skull:,
But I'm quite conformed to it now, seeing there's a apb-war out on our Engineer breedtype, especially in Aspiville(Metro-Detroit), MI.

I was kicked out of a job for being "too bright" at my subject of Electronics by my supervisor, who is clueless to technology; he's just a manager-thunderhead.

Strange, he was the one to hire me in though, thinking that I'll just be another minor Electronics enthusiast. Once he found out my level of experience, my additional management skills and my ability to 'fly' through IPC testing he 'buckled', reverted to policing me all around the shop area to build his case against me, deployed some sentinels to collect ANY data, questioned my every ESD-footwrapped movement and in the end wrote a britannica-sized (2-sided) paper regarding one incident of me making heatsinks for the lm7805 during diagnostics.., and wanted me to consend to it via my hancock... :? (seriously? Where's my "verbal warning"?)
I opted out.

As usual, the bosses took his side and I got canned, all in 3 DAYS! A new record!!
Took IPC-A-610 tests for 2-days straight and was on my way to becoming certified however, they weren't planning to send me off for testing either, that would make me raise-worthy... a big NOOH. :roll:

The story of my life

Like a "broken record".. I'd rather listen to raw cheese pizza in a DVD-Tray, set to multi-cloning. :? At least then I'll have breakfast afterwards.


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the wrong child
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04 May 2019, 5:57 am

Yes, I'll add to this -- don't be smarter than your co-workers or your boss. They don't like that.

Gets you fired pretty quickly.

Or, at least learn how NOT to show your intelligence if you want to keep your job.

I fail to understand why people feel so threatened by intelligent women? Also, why some companies insist that you must have the "right degree" for a position even if you know what you're doing otherwise?

I personally feel with some of these companies, it's an excuse just to get rid of people they don't understand and don't like. It has nothing to do with our skills and abilities -- it's social outcasting to move us out of the herd.



Ziemael
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07 Apr 2020, 9:54 pm

Uhg...very terrible. Most sickening, I have workplace PTSD from that kind of scenario. I too found that most my "too bright" jobs were where I was put to a task then became highly irritated by and was compelled optimize systemic inefficiencies and other uncalled for redundancies. But I know now that I was acting outside my hired skillset, and stepping on toes regarding chain of command and gimping the process of administration already in place for reasons that were need to know (above my pay grade) getting raised eyebrows from the controller or lead chemist at one place, misinterpreted comments from the editor at another, botching a psych evaluation and crazy results on the lie detector test for state trooper and police station work, then opening my mouth in front of the wrong HR manager, and so on. So many feet in my mouth as they say. I could never go back to those again. Ruined any chance of returning, as well as anxiety attacks at the thought of returning to even a similar work environment, let alone the same company (absolutely out of the question)



Fnord
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08 Apr 2020, 8:22 am

Wouldn't it be nice if we had jobs where all we had to do was be where we're supposed to be, when we're supposed to be there, and doing what we're supposed to be doing?  Wouldn't it be nice if we would make every effort to adapt to both the physical and social aspects of the work environment?  Wouldn't it be nice if we kept our petty complaints to ourselves and focused solely on why we were hired in the first place?

Wouldn't it be nice to have a job that lasts longer that the probationary period?


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ZenOfBeer
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27 May 2020, 3:02 pm

I can relate to this much more than I would like. Things started to click for me around the second to last bullet point. During the last several years as an engineer I was lucky enough that people put up with my less than soft-handed approach. Maybe cause there were several of us who managed to roll into the group, and I wasn't the worst to deal with, who knows.

In any case, I was respected and people chose to follow me. That opened the door to management. That's been more difficult. I still have the technical chops to lead good developers, I treat my team with the same blunt attitude I've always had, but I acknowledge that they're the people actually doing the work, and respect them for it.

Where the whole thing started to blow up for me was a scenario very much like the article describes. It started off with people giving me the space I needed to think, have a little peace on the job. I thought it was good. I hadn't been that stress free in a long time.
Then come the special projects that I own. I get to code again, awesome. Just me and another dev building a cool POC.
Now we get buyoff to build a team, but I can't choose the team. Instead, another manager comes on "to work for me" and bring his team with him.
Along side this, responsibilities are starting to disappear.
Then the team agrees to implement my designs, but end up going in a completely different direction, other leaders on the team no longer have time to meet with me, and I realize one day that I think my job is in trouble when the whole "room goes silent when I show up" thing starts.

Most disturbing part was this is the third example of something like this happening, and I've missed it every single time.



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05 Jun 2020, 1:07 am

ZenOfBeer wrote:
I can relate to this much more than I would like. Things started to click for me around the second to last bullet point. During the last several years as an engineer I was lucky enough that people put up with my less than soft-handed approach. Maybe cause there were several of us who managed to roll into the group, and I wasn't the worst to deal with, who knows.

In any case, I was respected and people chose to follow me. That opened the door to management. That's been more difficult. I still have the technical chops to lead good developers, I treat my team with the same blunt attitude I've always had, but I acknowledge that they're the people actually doing the work, and respect them for it.

Where the whole thing started to blow up for me was a scenario very much like the article describes. It started off with people giving me the space I needed to think, have a little peace on the job. I thought it was good. I hadn't been that stress free in a long time.
Then come the special projects that I own. I get to code again, awesome. Just me and another dev building a cool POC.
Now we get buyoff to build a team, but I can't choose the team. Instead, another manager comes on "to work for me" and bring his team with him.
Along side this, responsibilities are starting to disappear.
Then the team agrees to implement my designs, but end up going in a completely different direction, other leaders on the team no longer have time to meet with me, and I realize one day that I think my job is in trouble when the whole "room goes silent when I show up" thing starts.

Most disturbing part was this is the third example of something like this happening, and I've missed it every single time.


That's the worst part of Asperger's, no forewarning or insufficient forewarning of danger on the social front. Or possibly not the forewarning, but rather being unaware of one's own (perceived) social transgressions, and others assuming the worst and not giving any allowance at all to social blindness.


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Jakki
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05 Jun 2020, 5:26 am

its getting to the point where i feels like after hired in , i should not talk anymore or even give input.,
practically .


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06 Jun 2020, 5:44 am

Fnord wrote:
Wouldn't it be nice if we had jobs where all we had to do was be where we're supposed to be, when we're supposed to be there, and doing what we're supposed to be doing?  Wouldn't it be nice if we would make every effort to adapt to both the physical and social aspects of the work environment?  Wouldn't it be nice if we kept our petty complaints to ourselves and focused solely on why we were hired in the first place?

Wouldn't it be nice to have a job that lasts longer that the probationary period?


You may be surprised to hear I really liked this message. It made me think. Fnord is like the Instigator or Muse to inspire us with the unusual viewpoint.

I posed his questionnaire to myself. On my job, do I...
Be where I am supposed to be? Check.
When I'm supposed to be there? Check.
Doing what supposed to be doing? Check.
Made every effort to adapt to both the physical and social aspects of the work environment?
This is the hard one! No. I mainly avoid social interaction and thus avoid social blunders. By minimizing the surface area, I minimize the possibility of wounds. However this has proved adequate. I also follow all known social norms, although new ones develop occasionally that may catch me off guard, like what to do if someone's Mom is passing away/has died. I don't know what to say/do. In the event, I donated $10 to a gift card when asked, and also signed the card. That was incredibly difficult! What to say on the card? I said, "Sorry for your loss. Peace and love." Do not know what else to say! Never learned!
Do I keep my petty complaints to myself? Heck no, I complain just like the rest of them. Well, my boss complains to me about his boss and about others, so I feel like it is O.K. and permissible for me to complain. I mainly complain when others complain, because they are showing me that the social norm is complaining. If no one ever complained, then I probably would not complain either. I don't refrain from complaining, because then someone might assume I'm a goody-goody or brown-noser, I'm a really not.


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06 Jun 2020, 5:52 am

Jakki wrote:
its getting to the point where i feels like after hired in , i should not talk anymore or even give input.,
practically .


I learned early on to be very careful what I say, especially when first hired. You have to pretend like you are arrested and the cops are listening to every word to use against you in court. They are just looking for an excuse to immediately get rid of you. They are trying to figure out whether they made a mistake hiring you.

So, my tact is just be super agreeable, go along with whatever they do, however they do it. If you know a better way, you can offer it as a suggestion, very carefully, but do not go on about it and zip your lips if they throw cold water on it. Mainly I found that people want their workers to shut up and do the work. That is easy to do, that's the good part. So yeah, do not give input unless asked or unless the person(s) seem receptive to input. If they are listening to you in a receptive friendly manner, that is different, but otherwise zip the lips. No one is paying to hear my life story, they just want me to get things done. I shut the hell up and work quick and that earns points for me, turning Asperger's and/or social awkwardness into a bit of an asset.


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auntblabby
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27 Aug 2020, 12:50 am

adrenal exhaustion from having to watch my @$$ every step of the way for 20+ years. took me years to recover. now i know that hermithood is the only thing that works for me.



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28 Aug 2020, 8:13 pm

auntblabby wrote:
adrenal exhaustion from having to watch my @$$ every step of the way for 20+ years. took me years to recover. now i know that hermithood is the only thing that works for me.


Hermithood sounds awesome to me. I'm a weekend hermit. Weekdays I work with the people. :lol:

One of my secret fantasies is get a shack out in the sticks, someplace cold, with electric, but no internet. Read books, write and play video games and tend to a tiny crop of three permitted marijuana plants in the state of Vermont. Live off savings w/o any medical insurance and if I get sick, well I go bye-bye, don't I? But I reckon I'd get a few good years at least, maybe even get lucky. :mrgreen:


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