Help! When I'm in public I keep feeling agitated or angry
I'm on 50mg of Sertraline and yes they do help me to control my outbursts, so I am more calmer and better to live with. But when I'm out in public on my own, everything around me really drives me insane; crowds, slow people, people in my way, kids, cars pulling in my way, loud motorcycles, people talking loud, people opening windows on the bus on a cold day, the bus getting too crowded, the amount of traffic, red lights, taxis, vans, people sitting in my favourite seat on the bus, people standing or sitting near me on or off the bus, toddlers whining and screaming....you name it, everything upsets me.
OK I do smile and say thank you if somebody holds a door open for me or lets me pass on the steps or whatever, because I am a polite person. And I don't get annoyed with elderly or disabled people being slow. But in general, everything makes me feel agitated. I don't show it enough to make people look or anything, but inwardly I am feeling really irritated at everything. It usually happens more after work when I get a two-hour bus ride to see my boyfriend, which is right in the rush hour.
Is this normal to feel like this at rush hour time when you're tired and hungry and been working all day? Or is it more of a social anxiety thing perhaps? What if I suddenly explode one day, and just scream ''EVERYBODY JUST GET THE f**k AWAY FROM ME!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!'' I would really regret it for the rest of my life if I did that. People just make me feel exhausted. I don't like crowds and noisy children and too much traffic. It causes distress. Does anybody else feel like this when out in public? I'm not so bad at all when I'm with somebody, but when I'm alone, I feel really agitated at everything.
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Female
I do empathize with you. You want to feel relaxed after a hard day's work--then are confronted by crowds.
The people in the crowds mean no harm--but it's just a collective rush amongst them, seeking any advantage that they could obtain.
Have you taken many walks after you've come home from work--like maybe to a park?
I know that would calm me down.
Sounds like sensory overload. Maybe some ear phones/ear buds and closing your eyes while on the bus will help, get to your bus stop later so you don't have to wait there as long, bike/walk to your location if it's close enough and preferable to being on the bus, or leave earlier/later in the day to avoid crowds and traffic if possible. I guess it could be anxiety if you are afraid of something specific.
Thanks for the replies. I do listen to my ipod on the bus, but sometimes when I'm so agitated I can't even focus on the music; the songs get boring and my brain filters them out. I wish my brain would filter everything else out!
A walk in the park sounds good, but then I'd probably get agitated with the people and kids in the park!
I do wish I was rich enough to live somewhere remote, with just a few friendly people around and less traffic.
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Female
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