A question about Asperger

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If you have Asperger,
How did you deal with the problems and situations in adulthood, how was the situation at work?
How did you manage them?
did you get married? Do you have children? does any of them have Asperger?
Is your partner or your kids give you the love and respect that you deserve?
What can I do to help my kid, who has Asperger, to be better prepared for the future?

Also, someone told me that, sometimes, Asperger is a blessing, because Aspergers decide with their brain not their heart, so they never fall in love as we do, so they are immune to having broken heart or being deceived.
Is this true????

Others might disagree--but I believe it is essential for a person with Asperger's to make adjustments to the world around him/her. Adaptation is the key. I don't believe a separation from the "neurotypical" world would help anybody--whether on the Spectrum or neurotypical.

Asperger's does not preclude one from success. We have many success stories here. I'm a civil service clerk, and I've been on the job 35 years---but there are people here who are engineers, computer programmers, doctors, research scientists, etc. There are quite a few married people here as well.

One person, who was classically autistic as a youngster, then became rather Aspergian as an adult, is Temple Grandin. She's probably one of the more famed Spectrumites. You should read her works. And so should your children. It's like a (perhaps) less dramatic version of an African-American reading up on Thurgood Marshall.

Always set high standards. Never allow Asperger's to be an excuse for disrespectful behavior. Set human standards, rather than Asperger's standards.

Who?

Managed them mostly through alcohol, unfortunately. It's very stressful to be so close to "normal," yet different enough that you constantly feel like an outcast. The amount of anxiety and depression this causes can be quite unbearable sometimes.



I was married at 25 and divorced at 34. I unfortunately married a histrionic narcissist who in the end couldn't understand me, didn't try to, and looked outside of our marriage for her emotional and physical needs. No children, thankfully. That would've been messy with the way things ended. But she completely and utterly broke my heart.



My current partner is a fantastic companion who completely understands me. If you can find a compatible ASD partner, or even an NT partner who is compassionate and understanding, you're in excellent shape. I've learned that proper partner selection is crucial to dating as an Aspie. Perhaps moreso than as an NT.



The future is so amorphous that you can't prepare him/her for everything. The key is to make him/her as comfortable with himself/herself as possible. This may mean being completely open about his/her struggles in a way that could be uncomfortable for either or both of you.

He/she has to know that depression is not taboo. It's a completely natural state of being, though definitely one that should be worked on through therapy and perhaps pharmacology. The same goes for anxiety.

Above all, he or she needs to know that they are not alone. The incidence of ASD is much higher than many realize. Chances are your kid knows other kids on the spectrum but isn't aware of it. If that isn't the case, we're always here at Wrong Planet to help the both of you.

Good luck.

Thank you for your response.
I am so happy that you are okay and you were able to get out of a bad relationship and get over it. Turning your life and making the best out of it.

Someone that I was talking about my worries to. A psychologist who was trying to help me to understand about my daughter.

The person that said this has no clue how aspies operate.

This psychologist needs to be reevaluated on what Asperger's is(and probably all ASDs). I hope this isn't your daughter's psych and if she is I'd recommend you get a new one.

If anything Aspies are much more prone to deception as the majority of us don't understand as to why people lie and assume the person lying is telling the truth. This is partly due to our lack in facial expression perception and gauging a person's intonation.

No it is not her therapist. It was a friend who wanted to calm me down when my kid was diagnosed.
your responses makes me worry. I was thinking, at least my kid is immune to love and its consequence.

How can someone learn about the facial expressions and micro expressions that reveal the people's intention.

IF it's possible at all, it's through trial and error, sadly.

It's nothing to get too worried about. Just be aware that she might be too trusting at times. Again, partner selection is of utmost importance.

Nope, that is the myth that we have the mind of machines, not that some of us aren't good at computation. We might not be social animals, but we still need others at times. How someone feels and interacts with love depends on the individual.

I agree with KK, adaption is best if it possible for the ASD person

Immune to love? Most definitely not - I'm married with kids but admittedly I am high functioning

Girls adapt better than boys too I think