Here are my thoughts:
Photos
Fewer pictures. I'd keep the one of you with the guitar and the one with the kitty and lose the rest
Self summary
Explain what Steam is (what is it?) and consider adding a line about things you enjoy doing with other people
Doing with my life
Leave the first sentence, delete everything else in this section. There's no need to tell everyone you're unhappy with your career right away.
I'm really good at
Be more descriptive -- what kind of music do you play on your guitar? What's the first song you learned to play?
Favorites
Be more descriptive -- which comedies do you like and why? (... anything by Monty Python because it's great fun to reenact the dead parrot skit at work. Or overseas. Or anywhere).
Why do you like those bands?
What kind of vegan foods do you cook? (... my specialties are a vegan tourtière and a killer vegan chocolate mousse).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Come up with something witty or delete it all together
You should message me if
Go with something more positive, with an incentive to contact you. Maybe try "if you think we'd get along (or if you want my recipe for the best vegan chocolate mousse ever)".
23 Sep 2015, 3:44 pm
