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EzraS
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17 May 2019, 8:52 pm

Silly suicidal slugs crossing the bike path tarmac.

I guess this path I'm on used to be a railway.



Darmok
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17 May 2019, 9:04 pm

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blooiejagwa
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17 May 2019, 11:48 pm

I called my sister when I was perseverating over past unnecessary things like law clerk n lawyer

(the reason it became stronger is because I have to get a new lawyer as he wants to get papers signed n there is no parenting plan in place as my old lawyer had lied and said the court would not allow one)
Suicide ideation etc

Anyway basically I told her everything relevant eg cannot leave car ,
trying to get her advice
She literally signed me up (she googled n purchased it) for a painting class at a painting lounge
She said it's booked for 7.30 And I had an hour to get ready
Then I went n the brilliant part (her brilliance)

Is that no matter how much my brain was refusing n trying to short-circuit so I woould not go
My conscience succeeded N the therapy strategies ..in quelling it

Since my LITTLE (by 6 years) sister had BOUGHT it fr me I forced myself to go
Also she messaged me 'remembef to send me pictures!' etc

Anyway it lasted till 12 pm
My painting was not bad and it propelled me fr the rest of this week to be more productive


So if u guys have a bad mental health day/month see if u can call someone and get strategies and see if u can sign up for something where u are accountable to follow through

Even if someone doesn't pay like my sister did fr me, it cd be that u make plans against ur will to go somewhere with someone n make sure they know u need their support and encouragement.. then even if it's embarrassing to admit it all, getting out n doing g something fresh outside of your perseveration zone will really help re-calibrate your brain



IsabellaLinton
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17 May 2019, 11:57 pm

Hugs for Blooie ^
I'm happy to see you and glad the outing helped. :heart:



cathylynn
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18 May 2019, 12:00 am

blooiejagwa wrote:
I called my sister when I was perseverating over past unnecessary things like law clerk n lawyer

(the reason it became stronger is because I have to get a new lawyer as he wants to get papers signed n there is no parenting plan in place as my old lawyer had lied and said the court would not allow one)
Suicide ideation etc

Anyway basically I told her everything relevant eg cannot leave car ,
trying to get her advice
She literally signed me up (she googled n purchased it) for a painting class at a painting lounge
She said it's booked for 7.30 And I had an hour to get ready
Then I went n the brilliant part (her brilliance)

Is that no matter how much my brain was refusing n trying to short-circuit so I woould not go
My conscience succeeded N the therapy strategies ..in quelling it

Since my LITTLE (by 6 years) sister had BOUGHT it fr me I forced myself to go
Also she messaged me 'remembef to send me pictures!' etc

Anyway it lasted till 12 pm
My painting was not bad and it propelled me fr the rest of this week to be more productive


So if u guys have a bad mental health day/month see if u can call someone and get strategies and see if u can sign up for something where u are accountable to follow through

Even if someone doesn't pay like my sister did fr me, it cd be that u make plans against ur will to go somewhere with someone n make sure they know u need their support and encouragement.. then even if it's embarrassing to admit it all, getting out n doing g something fresh outside of your perseveration zone will really help re-calibrate your brain


:wtg: :wtg: :wtg: :wtg: :wtg: :wtg: :wtg:



blooiejagwa
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18 May 2019, 12:12 am

Oh today I also started giving my son blenderized fresh foods diet (just 120 ml today in place of that amount of formula)
n he seemed way more energetic than usual

I will go v v v v v slow as advised by all
As his system is so fragile

But when i told nurse (can't say her name to distinguish from other nurses so I'll say she's from Burundi) I started she was encouraginv me a lot

The nurse who is from China who is also great was scared as she has seen some horrible blockages where the parents have to pay 100s to fix the problem (presumably over time buying lots of g tubes?)

So she was frantically advising me not to do it
But I researched n got advice from different experts like dietician n online nurses
And I kept it mild and not complicated
And blended n strained it several times
N he was fine!! I offered by mouth but he refused though it tasted great

Oh I'm not fasting because I cannot sustain it
Well I'm not doing any requisite thing like formal prayers so I guess that is just

XH is fasting but he is not having breakfast just fasting from dinner the night before
Which is crazy and unhealthy
I told him not to n different ideas to make it easy to get up early but he isn't listening

When I was married I Ed make him great healthy n yummy food n he would get up before sunrise as I would wake him n he would eat n be fine fasting till sunset

I feel bad but I'm not allowing myself to delve more into 'i wish I cd be there to wake him' as that is a slippery slope

Also my son's toilet training is going to happen as he finally received his special needs commode after 2 yrs! Well 1 year was the equipment storesfault as they were lazy n didn't submit the order forms that we gave them ..
Anyway now he will finally be getting trained this summer and the therapist had completely written out his toileting program on Thursday

She's fasting too which makes me feel ashamed as she was originally Christian n she is a better person than me in every aspect eg doesn't backbite, very kind and caring, v hard working, good company to everyone even ppl she never met before, etc

Her daughter is a literal genius but she is also extremely cute n kind
She is my elder sons age

Anyway they went to Iceland on holiday,
and she lit a candle in my sons' honour at a traditional site there where you light candles. Her mom said she just thought of it herself



blooiejagwa
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18 May 2019, 12:18 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Hugs for Blooie ^
I'm happy to see you and glad the outing helped. :heart:


Oh how are you? I'm reading a book called 'Unworthy how to stop hating yourself' which is actually really well written n v insightful

which u might like because she refers to things which to me sound like she has undiagnosed Asperger's or autism


But she thinks it's entirely due to her mom's low self esteem n poor coping habits
But no reason why it cannot be both.
In fact what if her mom had ASD too n just wasn't raised compassionately so she became self-hating n taught her daughter to be that way?
Anyway it's interesting and she sounds like someone who ought to be on Wrong planet


Her writing style is good


Hi also to cathylynn



IsabellaLinton
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18 May 2019, 12:31 am

blooiejagwa wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Hugs for Blooie ^
I'm happy to see you and glad the outing helped. :heart:


Oh how are you? I'm reading a book called 'Unworthy how to stop hating yourself' which is actually really well written n v insightful

which u might like because she refers to things which to me sound like she has undiagnosed Asperger's or autism


But she thinks it's entirely due to her mom's low self esteem n poor coping habits
But no reason why it cannot be both.
In fact what if her mom had ASD too n just wasn't raised compassionately so she became self-hating n taught her daughter to be that way?
Anyway it's interesting and she sounds like someone who ought to be on Wrong planet


Her writing style is good


Hi also to cathylynn


I'm so glad your son's food was successful after all that hard work you've done. You are such a strong person; he's blessed to have you and your new Burundi nurse. Don't worry about your ex-husband's fasting during Ramadan. Keep your focus on the boys but also on yourself, and your recovery from trauma. Thanks for the book suggestion which of course reminds me of Lucy Snowe :heart: I can understand why you find her story so compelling. I'm knee-deep with reading and still fighting the good fight, but starting to feel more like myself.

Hugs and Eid Mubarak :heart:



Darmok
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18 May 2019, 8:27 am

When everything else has failed...

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blooiejagwa
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18 May 2019, 12:38 pm

I wish all governments around the world would allocate more money to ppl who are isolated (eg impoverished, sick, elderly, disabled) and vulnerable and come up with a workable plan to improve society's understanding and accommodations for such people
That was help long term in combatting generational 'curses' much of which require outside help to be broken
Bcuz no matter where the current attitude and treatment is overall unhealthy

they all waste money on arms dealings
Actually that should be made illegal by the UN but it just goes to show UN has little to no power in prevention or protection only in picking up the pieces after the fact

I'm only thinking about this because my Burundi nurse told me about arms dealings messing up her country n surroundi g countries n resources exploited to other countries like Belgium
(after my brother told me bcuz he is literally a genius and knows everything about world history and politics except for China and Eastern Europe)



Darmok
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18 May 2019, 3:06 pm

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blooiejagwa
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18 May 2019, 5:06 pm

I just watched a video on early dementia
In this case the lady was 31 and died after giving birth
I know kids get it too

I wonder whether I have it
But I hope not



Zack1994
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18 May 2019, 5:09 pm

At this moment I'm reading a book about Warren Buffett.



Last edited by Zack1994 on 18 May 2019, 7:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cathylynn
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18 May 2019, 5:49 pm

blooiejagwa wrote:
I just watched a video on early dementia
In this case the lady was 31 and died after giving birth
I know kids get it too

I wonder whether I have it
But I hope not

probably not. unlike dementia in us elders, early dementia is rare. and you definitely display unhampered high intelligence in your writing.



Darmok
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18 May 2019, 7:39 pm

OMG, the National Enquirer headline in the supermarket says WILLIAM SEIZES THRONE FROM CHARLES!! The dying Queen has given her blessing!! Is this true??

(You may not know, be we have a problem with "Fake News" in the US. The National Enquirer is pretty reliable, but still I like to have confirmation on stories of great significance like this.)


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