Adults: do people ever treat you like a child?
I don't know if it's because of my quietness and social awkwardness, but sometimes people, I mean even strangers, talk to me in a sweeter tone as if I was a child.
I'm 22 years old and a young adult. I don't care what I look like, if I look younger or small or whatever, it doesn't change the fact I'm still a 22 year old adult and should be treated as such, no matter what I look like or how shy and socially awkward/inept I am.
Does it ever happen to you? If yes, how do you react?
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 173 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 32 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ Score: 40
SQ: 52
EQ: 5
Empathizing - systemizing mixed test version results
Yeah, a lot of people treat me that way too. How I respond usually depends on how they do it. If they are doing it in a friendly sort of way I smile and try to be friendly back to them without saying too much. I try to reciprocate because they probably mean well and if I don't they might feel like they have another reason to treat me that way. If they treat me like a child by acting like I always need reassurance sometimes I tell them I'm okay or I'm fine in a polite way. If they do it in a condescending way I might say one word to them like okay or something and try not to be very responsive towards them. These methods don't seem to work very well though because I still get treated like a child.
All the time. They’re quick to come to the conclusion that I’m ret*d.
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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.
I used to have that problem. People often treated me like I was younger. What hurt the most was when people my age treated me like I was younger. Right now that doesn't really happen to me anymore. Probably because I changed my appearance and threw away my label.
I used to look very normal and mainstream. Since I didn't act normal and mainstream there was a bit of an uncanny valley effect. Now that I'm more alternative looking I think I got rid of the uncanny valley effect. Now I think I read as alternative instead of kind of off or special needs.
I also stopped identifying as autistic. A lot of people in this forum think it's denial. I just don't think autism is a useful label for me. I also don't tell people. It makes it way easier for people to see me as who I am.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,459
Location: Long Island, New York
Nothing to do with autism but since became non verbal due to a tounge reconstruction operation many think I have dementia.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
I sometimes get this myself and yes on the inside it infuriates me, then i let loose on life philosophies and there demeanor changes rather quickly!... However i am also guilty of this myself, as i found when i just try to talk ""Normally"", people can often misinterpret how i am trying to get across, so will often put my point across in a softly , softly approach so as not to be seen as too direct within my conversations.... Damned if you do, damned if you dont!
My health care workers, at MY request treat me just like a pediatric patient due to issues related to my SPD. I warned them on my first visit that I have the pain tolerances of a three year old and am at the emotional stage of a third to fourth grader. The first time they had to poke me with a needle they found out I wasn't lying. Since then I'm allowed all the comfort objects I need when being treated at the medical facilities (per care plan), and I'm given all the kiddie perks like pieces of candy and character Band-aids in addition to an occasional surprise like a temporary tattoo that states something like, "I was a brave boy today".
I certainly don't mind being treated like a child if it's clearly out of compassion or sensitivity for my ND situation. I draw the line when someone becomes condescending out of belief that they know more about something than I do because they're NT and I'm not, at which time I'll remind them of my chronological age which is usually higher than theirs.
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"Small talk is for small minds."
ND score 125/200, NT score 93/200
Most at the time. Whether they're aware that I'm an aspie or not.
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I used to look very normal and mainstream. Since I didn't act normal and mainstream there was a bit of an uncanny valley effect. Now that I'm more alternative looking I think I got rid of the uncanny valley effect. Now I think I read as alternative instead of kind of off or special needs.
I also stopped identifying as autistic. A lot of people in this forum think it's denial. I just don't think autism is a useful label for me. I also don't tell people. It makes it way easier for people to see me as who I am.
I think that's a good point, i believe in people with ASD not being treated like second class citizens, or like we are disabled. A label is still a label though, and i prefer not to over identify too much with ASD as defining my personality, which is a temptation to do if you read and hear a lot of stuff about ASD sometimes. Nobody is just a label, as people are so much more, but as DevilKisses describes adopting a different image or label can alter interpretations.
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Nothing lasts but nothing is lost
Yes, people like to talk down to me sometimes, and I do get the feeling that some people assume I'm "ret*d", as someone else in the thread pointed out. I worked on a laboring crew with two other workers last month. One of them would always call me "buddy" and took this weird sort of older-brother tone with me. He meant well by it, so it didn't bother me too much. The other guy, though, was deliberately obnoxious about it. And then, of course, there was the ever-present "you're too quiet!".
Yep. I particularly hate it when someone clearly younger than me treats me like this. None of these people know I may have ASD (so it's not because of that) but for some reason my "shyness" means I'm a child. Someone once told me that I can intimidate people because at first they assume I'm this timid, silly, "pushover" girl but then I speak and they find out I'm quite a bit more intelligent than they first assumed...
I used to look very normal and mainstream. Since I didn't act normal and mainstream there was a bit of an uncanny valley effect. Now that I'm more alternative looking I think I got rid of the uncanny valley effect. Now I think I read as alternative instead of kind of off or special needs.
I also stopped identifying as autistic. A lot of people in this forum think it's denial. I just don't think autism is a useful label for me. I also don't tell people. It makes it way easier for people to see me as who I am.
I think that's a good point, i believe in people with ASD not being treated like second class citizens, or like we are disabled. A label is still a label though, and i prefer not to over identify too much with ASD as defining my personality, which is a temptation to do if you read and hear a lot of stuff about ASD sometimes. Nobody is just a label, as people are so much more, but as DevilKisses describes adopting a different image or label can alter interpretations.
I think aspies and non-NTs should take advantage of NT shallowness. A lot of behaviors and personalities can be interpreted in completely ways depending on the way you frame them. It can be a real energy saver. I no longer have to try super hard to appear NT.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
Yes. How I react depends on the person/circumstance and in what way I am being treated like a child.
If someone is being extra nice to me, protective of me, or unusually/overly helpful but without being condescending or disrespectful, that is usually fine and sometimes exactly what I need or something I appreciate. If it's not something I need or want, the worst case scenario is that I might feel impatient/frustrated with un-needed help or be uncomfortable or confused.
If someone is being condescending, trying to control my decisions, or refusing to acknowledge my autonomy, discounting/dismissing my experience or self-knowledge, then I am offended. I will get more upset about it the closer someone is to me and/or the more power they have in the interaction/relationship.
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"Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving." -- Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
Love transcends all.
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