Why do girls stop talking to me on Tinder? Wtf?!

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RubyTates
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05 Oct 2015, 12:17 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
A month ago, I decided to get Tinder because everyone else my age was using it and was like what the heck i'll give it a go.

So anyways I got some matches from pretty girls and proceeded to message them but they all ghosted me, I don't know why. It's very frustrating, what the heck am I possibly doing wrong? I really have no idea what i'm saying that would be considered bad.

Here I will give you 3 conversations I had with women on this app.


Girl #1

Me: Hey

Her: Hi =)

Me: What's your favorite pokemon? Mine is Charizard!

Her: Shellder because it reminds me of my vagina

Me: How could you like Shellder? It's base stats are crap, it's move set is crap, half of the pokemon in the OU tier is super effective against it.


She never replied back...



Girl #2.

She messaged me first... My bio says music music music in it.


Her: What kind of music music music do you like?

Me: I have a passion for bluegrass screamo. Basically it's bluegrass but instead of singing, you're screaming. I want to start my own bluegrass screamo band. What about you?


She never replied back either...





Girl #3.

Her: Hey you are cute

Me: Thanks, you too.

Her: I know this is sudden but do you want to hangout?

Me: Sure let me take you to mcdonalds and buy you a happy meal.


She never replied back...



Wtf?! Why do women hate me so much ='( All I want is love and affection but girls have to hate me for whatever reason.

What am I possibly doing wrong?


This was too hilarious. I thought this was a joke when I first read it, but if it is not-let me give you my serious take on what you did wrong.

Girl #1- Yes, you insulted her intelligence, but you first and foremost came off as condescending and aggressive. No girl wants a controlling and judgmental guy around her.

Girl#2- Bluegrass screamo bands just do not float some women's boats. For some reason, they might think the people who like this type of music are "weird" and "scary" and thus might not be into them. Also, I think the fact that you told her you wanted to start your own band was giving her too much information too soon and she might have thought you are not serious about your future if that is your goal instead of going into a stable and steady career.

Girl #3- McDonalds is not romantic or sexy. It's cheap. Furthermore, she would have most definitely either thought you were just a jerk for bringing it up or that you were being sarcastic and making fun of her. Regardless of whether she was just looking for a quick hook-up.

That's my female take on it.



Lukeda420
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05 Oct 2015, 1:16 pm

moirakelly wrote:
DevilKisses wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
As you see some guys say stuff like "women are evil, they hate me, they ditch me for no reason, etc etc" but it's their own fault in the end.

Not always. A lot of people on free dating sites don't actually want to date.


Because they've nothing better to do than mess with people's heads? I've a hard time believing that, given that something like 1/3 of people now meet their husband/wife online.


I've heard a few girls admit this before. They said that they just want to chat with people. I guess some people find it entertaining.



darkphantomx1
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05 Oct 2015, 1:28 pm

Many people use Tinder not for the purpose of actually meeting up but just to see how many girls/guys like them back.

That's why these Hot or Not apps are popular because people are curious to see if they're attractive or not. Tinder is like a validation seeking app for many people.

And some girls/guys are obviously too shy to meet up with someone they just met.



DevilKisses
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05 Oct 2015, 4:52 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
Many people use Tinder not for the purpose of actually meeting up but just to see how many girls/guys like them back.

That's why these Hot or Not apps are popular because people are curious to see if they're attractive or not. Tinder is like a validation seeking app for many people.

And some girls/guys are obviously too shy to meet up with someone they just met.

They might also have executive functioning issues. I'm on dating sites, but I have executive functioning issues that makes it hard to arrange dates.


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kraftiekortie
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05 Oct 2015, 5:42 pm

Yeah...McDonald's is definitely not cool. I rarely ever step foot in them any more.

A place like Applebee's is pretty inexpensive. You could get the 2 for $20 special--and get waited on by waiters/waitresses who treat you well.



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03 Jun 2017, 7:45 am

Girl 1. You should have spiced up the conversation by changing the topic to Shellder clamping onto a Slowpoke's tail, or something like that. She mentioned her vagina, so she expected you to start talking more "dirty" or "spicy". You also insulted her as she wrote that she liked Shellder because it reminded her of her vagina, and you said that Shellder is crap (= her vagina is crap as well). I know that you were joking, but she didn't get the joke.

Girl 2. Overkill. Too much details at once, you explained what is bluegrass screamo in the same message in which you mentioned it. It means you assumed that she didn't know what it is. Maybe she actually knew? You should have just said "Bluegrass screamo, what about you?" - she would have asked you what bluegrass screamo is in her next message. Let her be curious and don't explain too many things in advance before she asks about them.

Girl 3. It was not too fast (contrary to what other people here claimed), because she was the one who suggested to hangout first. The main problem is that you offered her a Happy Meal. It is mainly for children, and not everyone likes it. She likely thought that you insulted her by treating her like a child. Even if she wanted to go to McDonald's, she probably didn't want a Happy Meal, but something else. You should have just asked her "Sure, let's hangout, what do you want to do?". Or "How about going to McCafe?". Give her some options to choose from.



Sweetleaf
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03 Jun 2017, 11:25 am

For the first one you asked what her favorite Pokemon was, and then when she told you...you ripped on that Pokemon and essentially told her she was wrong for liking it. Wouldn't you find it kind of off putting if someone asks you your favorite of something and then when you tell them what it is they proceed to dis on it?

For the second one I imagine she doesn't like 'bluegrass screamo' so wasn't interested in continuing the discussion.

And for the third one, 'let me take you out to Mcdonalds(the cheapest/grossest fast food) and get you a (children's) happy meal.' kind of speaks for itself. I mean why McDonalds? and why on earth did you think offering a happy meal would be a good idea?...she's not a little kid she was a woman expressing interest in you.

Also ghosting is when you've actually had some contact with a person, like lengthy discussions or met in person and they just abruptly disappear from contact....not if you exchange a couple messages and the conversation doesn't go anywhere and they opt to stop messaging you.


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03 Jun 2017, 11:46 am

The thread was not serious - come on.

Anyway; for guys who have the same question:

Because all dating apps are sasuage fests like 9 to 1 or even 20 to 1 in some.

Guys; you have no value in dating apps; you're like spermas, so common hence your value is cheap there - while women there are rare.

That means women have too many options so most will often end up finding better options than you in a tick and therefore stopping to talk to you.



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17 Jun 2017, 5:43 pm

I rarely use a tablet, so I don't use Tinder. However, I can definitely relate to you. Many of us Aspies are just dying for a relationship when we get mature enough for one. I tried way too hard for a long time, and all it did was devastate me more and more. I recently looked back at my posts years ago on a dating site, when I was going through this more confused time in my life, and I could not believe some of the stupid things I said to women. Yet I was always so hurt when I was rejected. I feel that today, I might be able to, at least on a few levels, be able to communicate with women better, but I'm kind of afraid to attempt again, which has been my stance since I came out of my depression for a good while in 2012, since I'm afraid I might be hurt by the rejection that you are describing in your main paragraph, which is always something pretty much anyone will be faced with on dating sites, Tinder, or anywhere that you are trying to talk to women. And when someone has Asperger's, it is much harder to be able to say the right things to women, or initiate a conversation better.



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18 Jun 2017, 8:12 am

Girl #1: She made a joke. You didn't laugh and followed it up with something long, cringe and undermining.
Girl #2: Should've just said Bluegrass. Lots of words = perception you're obsessive, intense to normal folk.
Girl #3: A happy meal?! That sounds like you were either being sarcastic and negging her maturity (which I kinda found funny) or a creepy come on. Happy meals aren't intended for adults, even if some of the toys are cool...just ask a girl if she likes burgers or pizza or something and then say you'll go to X or Y place.


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25 Jun 2017, 3:53 am

darkphantomx1 wrote:
A month ago, I decided to get Tinder because everyone else my age was using it and was like what the heck i'll give it a go.

So anyways I got some matches from pretty girls and proceeded to message them but they all ghosted me, I don't know why. It's very frustrating, what the heck am I possibly doing wrong? I really have no idea what i'm saying that would be considered bad.

Here I will give you 3 conversations I had with women on this app.


Girl #1

Me: Hey

Her: Hi =)

Me: What's your favorite pokemon? Mine is Charizard!

Her: Shellder because it reminds me of my vagina

Me: How could you like Shellder? It's base stats are crap, it's move set is crap, half of the pokemon in the OU tier is super effective against it.


She never replied back...



Girl #2.

She messaged me first... My bio says music music music in it.


Her: What kind of music music music do you like?

Me: I have a passion for bluegrass screamo. Basically it's bluegrass but instead of singing, you're screaming. I want to start my own bluegrass screamo band. What about you?


She never replied back either...





Girl #3.

Her: Hey you are cute

Me: Thanks, you too.

Her: I know this is sudden but do you want to hangout?

Me: Sure let me take you to mcdonalds and buy you a happy meal.


She never replied back...



Wtf?! Why do women hate me so much ='( All I want is love and affection but girls have to hate me for whatever reason.

What am I possibly doing wrong?


My take on this differs from the others.

Girl 1: She wasn't interested in Pokemon and had attempted to express this with a sarcastic reply. I think it best you refrain from talking about Pokemon unless the girl states explicitly that she loves Pokemon, because most women will perceive you as a "man child". I associate Pokemon with the cartoon my brother was obsessed with when he was 7.

Girl 2: In all fairness, she did ask, but I think a more facilitating answer would have been "A sub-genre of bluegrass. How about you?"

Girl 3: McDonald's. It's not a suitable place for a first date unless you are in high school and generally broke. I think Starbuck's or something on that level would have been more appealing.



XFilesGeek
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25 Jun 2017, 6:47 am

This thread wasn't serious, and the guy who posted it has been long since banned.

Locked.


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