Why do people assume autistic people don't have friends?

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redrobin62
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06 Oct 2015, 6:32 pm

People sometimes like me from the outset, but as soon as they see how odd and troubled I am, they run for the hills. I can make friends but just can't keep 'em, unless I'm bringing alcohol and drugs to the party, then I'm okay.



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15 Mar 2016, 7:32 pm

I Got Friends, while you could say they Aren't "Real" friends. I don't care


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QuillAlba
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15 Mar 2016, 7:38 pm

I waved to three trees when I was walking my dog today.

I also tipped my hat to a deer.

If that isn't social interaction then I just don't know.



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15 Mar 2016, 7:44 pm

Nicola2206 wrote:
Why do people assume autistic people don't have friends?
Maybe because they would never have an autistic person for a friend.


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League_Girl
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15 Mar 2016, 11:41 pm

Because often you read about autism that autistic kids have no interest in friends and they prefer to be alone.


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germanium
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16 Mar 2016, 7:36 am

I have a few friends but that is about all I can handle. I don't have a lot of energy to spend on numerous friendships. I do value the ones that I have though. One friend I have had for 39 years now. I do very occasionally make a new friend but for the most part I'm not looking to make a lot of friends.



CockneyRebel
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16 Mar 2016, 1:15 pm

I have two really good friends and that's all that I need. I think it's because they read that people on the spectrum aren't interested in social interaction.


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16 Mar 2016, 3:09 pm

Maybe because the autistics they know really have no friends. Making friends seems to be orders of magnitude beyond my ability. It's no more realistic as a goal for me than lifting an elephant off the ground with my hands.


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Joe90
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16 Mar 2016, 3:45 pm

As a small child I had friends. Well, I was like any typically developing baby when I was a baby, and had no trouble interacting with my peers when I was a toddler. It was only as I got older I became more and more socially awkward, I didn't do too badly with friends as a child, but when I was a teenager things got really difficult.

From about the age of 11 I didn't really have any close friends (except for my cousin). I was lonely as a teenager, and I felt everybody had friends but me.


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Mael
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16 Mar 2016, 3:53 pm

I have friends. Few. I'm fortunate to have found people who think I'm quirky and funny and accept me as I am. Having said so, I count about 6 friends, not a good percentage considering my age. Problem is, once I learned to accept myself, I discovered I really do not have enough energy for more. And I usually don't socialize with more than two at a time. Even here, I just usually lurk. Decided to interact today because I'm quite annoyed at another "guide to asperger for teachers" someone posted on facebook. Even virtual friends can be tiresome when they just don't "get" it.



green0star
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22 May 2016, 8:15 am

I had friends when I was a kid, I just eventually lost them all by the time I hit early adulthood.



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22 May 2016, 9:15 am

Because people do not understand that disability does not automatically mean inability. This is a concept many on the spectrum who believe Autism has made then hopelessly broken need to take into consideration.


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b9
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22 May 2016, 10:57 am

i don't have any friends because i forget in which places i stuffed them all. i can never find them, but i don't care because i would have to have an interest in social archaeology in order to dig for them anyway.



Nicola2206
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31 May 2016, 5:53 pm

I find friendships too demanding, so I only have a few close friends and ignore others.

At some point I just found out being around people is detrimental to me, and that's why I kept being miserable. I'm still miserable, but I have more energy to spend in activities I like/are useful to me.


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31 May 2016, 5:56 pm

Nicola2206 wrote:
It's like my mother said "but you were open as a kid and had friends", well I still a few friends now. The point is: how do I interact with people and connect with them? That's the core, that's the main issue. It's not about how many friends you have. It's about how you interact with people, the sensory issues, stims and many other things. It's not just about "friends". I don't think people on the autism spectrum don't have friends. It's BS. It's just harder for us to make friends....some of us are more social, others like me are really introverted, but still....

Saying "but you have/had friends and played with them!" should not be a way to invalidate someone on the spectrum. Autism is much more than that, especially in its mild form where you could sometimes look NT (although I fail to do that).

Anyone else agree and has personal experiences with this issue?

P.S: also I think she has traits too but won't admit it, I'm not sure whether to call her NT or not, so I won't label her

i agree


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31 May 2016, 5:57 pm

StarTrekker wrote:
I presently have one "real-life" friend, two online friends, and a boyfriend, so overall, I don't think I'm doing to badly for an aspie.
You and I are friends! :heart: :D


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