natural development/progress on the spectrum
10 Oct 2015, 12:20 pm
ellemenope wrote:
My son has had very little formal therapy or intervention. I mean besides what we his parents have been doing since we noticed his issues early on, around 18 months- and we are always aware and working on things. I know a couple of other kids we know who are similar, on the spectrum and who have been in all kinds of therapy- I mean probably hundreds or thousands of hours at this point. We also know one little boy whose parents are in complete denial about (what we suspect is) his ASD and do very little to help him along.
My husband and I have noted both with our son these other kids we've known over the past few years (no not a solid basis for a scientific study, just for our casual observation!) that they all seem to chug along in their development no matter what, some with more ease than others of course. There have been things we've really had to push our son along with, toilet training for example, and other skills that seem to happen earlier and more naturally for NT kids. But other things just seem to click into place for him- not on "schedule" but eventually. For example, my son hasn't had really any OT but his coordination, motor skills, etc have really gotten so much better and he is pretty much squared with his peers in many areas at this point after coming a long way. He hasn't done any special therapy to address these things, just normal kid stuff - gymnastics, playgrounds/climbing/swinging all the time, tons of swimming, lots of sensory play (sand, play dough etc). His speech seems to be coming along the same way... slowly but surely with unexpected leaps and definitely at his own individual pace and along a strange path.
I wonder if all this therapy isn't just taking the place of the natural play the kids would be doing if they weren't in therapy all the time? And their development is just happening and unfolding at the pace that is right for their specific neurology instead of the NT development track...
Sometimes it helps me to see things this way when we just can't seem to find a solution to a problem he is having. Otherwise I drive myself crazy looking for solutions and ways to address it that just don't end up working. I try to think that maybe only time will help...he will grow and grow up.
My husband and I have noted both with our son these other kids we've known over the past few years (no not a solid basis for a scientific study, just for our casual observation!) that they all seem to chug along in their development no matter what, some with more ease than others of course. There have been things we've really had to push our son along with, toilet training for example, and other skills that seem to happen earlier and more naturally for NT kids. But other things just seem to click into place for him- not on "schedule" but eventually. For example, my son hasn't had really any OT but his coordination, motor skills, etc have really gotten so much better and he is pretty much squared with his peers in many areas at this point after coming a long way. He hasn't done any special therapy to address these things, just normal kid stuff - gymnastics, playgrounds/climbing/swinging all the time, tons of swimming, lots of sensory play (sand, play dough etc). His speech seems to be coming along the same way... slowly but surely with unexpected leaps and definitely at his own individual pace and along a strange path.
I wonder if all this therapy isn't just taking the place of the natural play the kids would be doing if they weren't in therapy all the time? And their development is just happening and unfolding at the pace that is right for their specific neurology instead of the NT development track...
Sometimes it helps me to see things this way when we just can't seem to find a solution to a problem he is having. Otherwise I drive myself crazy looking for solutions and ways to address it that just don't end up working. I try to think that maybe only time will help...he will grow and grow up.
I haven't read all the responses, but I think that you are right.
My son had had tonnes of therapy for years and years now - almost to the point that he never had the time to actually be a child. I was constantly "guilt-tripped" by extended family that I wasn't doing enough, that I wasn't interacting enough with him, I wasn't getting him enough help, blah blah blah
Well, we very recently - as a family - went through some MAJOR change and we lost ABA as a result. I briefly tried to take over and do some teaching myself but he wouldn't work with me. So I just gave up. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and I was also learning to adjust to our new life and surroundings.
(UN)Surprisingly enough, my son actually seems HAPPIER now and actually seems to be learning more (from his environment) than ever before. He is very very very delayed in all areas of development (functioning like a 2 year old although he is 6) but it seemed that as soon as I "let go", he seemed to magically become happier and behaving "better" ("better" being a very relative term).
I really do think that all this hard-sell of ABA / ST / OT may be adversely and negatively impacting SOME kids even if they benefit other kids. As with every thing else, all kids on the spectrum are individuals, and what works for some may not work for others. My son was deemed a "non-responder" to intensive ABA, and all of a sudden, it doesn't seem the end of the world.
We are getting used to our "new normal" and life seems... well, it's just life as usual. I am waiting to see if we'll see any major "devastating" side effects of the loss of all that therapy - but something tells me that it's all going to be just fine. In fact, it may probably end up being the best thing to happen to my boy. He's finally get the chance to be a child - without having a back-to-back schedule of therapy after therapy after therapy - as he did for years and years.
Being a child and learning through play is probably the best way to learn and grow. At least that's how it works for NT kids, so why not my son ? Especially since all that "therapy" didn't work, it just may be time for us to go completely and utterly "au naturel".
_________________
O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".
-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116
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