Aspergers is killing my life

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Ecomatt91
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08 Oct 2015, 4:52 pm

Challenges makes me tired, stressed and peer pressured by the mainstream rotten society.

So sick of being a tomfoolery. Can't even get friends to invite me like I ask them to. They instead hang out with other people. My social life involves where everyone is invited, like meetup and groups settings.

I had enough now.

Goodbye



cberg
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08 Oct 2015, 4:56 pm

Looks like you're interested in challenges with more space & time for introspection. Perhaps you should see if anyone wants to spend some time outside rather than planning everything ahead in town...


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MysteryTrain
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08 Oct 2015, 5:52 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
Challenges makes me tired, stressed and peer pressured by the mainstream rotten society.

So sick of being a tomfoolery. Can't even get friends to invite me like I ask them to. They instead hang out with other people. My social life involves where everyone is invited, like meetup and groups settings.

I had enough now.

Goodbye


Please go talk to your therapist or consider hiring a more competent one. You're trying, you're flailing, you're failing socially and have no earthly idea what you are doing wrong.

Help's available, the fact you've already got a therapist means you're in a great position to ACCESS help!



Ecomatt91
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08 Oct 2015, 5:56 pm

MysteryTrain wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
Challenges makes me tired, stressed and peer pressured by the mainstream rotten society.

So sick of being a tomfoolery. Can't even get friends to invite me like I ask them to. They instead hang out with other people. My social life involves where everyone is invited, like meetup and groups settings.

I had enough now.

Goodbye


Please go talk to your therapist or consider hiring a more competent one. You're trying, you're flailing, you're failing socially and have no earthly idea what you are doing wrong.

Help's available, the fact you've already got a therapist means you're in a great position to ACCESS help!


For thousands of times I told to everyone that I have been seeing counselors and professional people for six years. I have three appointments this month and last month too. I been to lots of programs, workshops and that kind of things. I did learned thousands of things. Tried new things and approached different things every single time.

I am not a fecked up dumb retarded person. These stuff I done made me to become a social aspie. This what people told me on this forum because I talked about things I am always being out. However, the problem is, it is all the events that are planned for everyone.



kraftiekortie
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08 Oct 2015, 6:02 pm

What's going on with that girl you like?



whatamess
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08 Oct 2015, 6:13 pm

I am sorry you are feeling down...but here's the thing...you stated "mainstream rotten society"..yes, I actually agree somewhat...therefore, I don't care to be a part of that society. You are actually lucky that you aren't like those other superficial people...be proud and find others who are just like you. Hugs!

PS if I may suggest, check out the show "How to be a grown up" on TruTv...you will get some insight into how the other people think and I feel helps much more than any therapist...You can find them on YouTube. PS you might just truly understand that you don't want to be like them :-)



MysteryTrain
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08 Oct 2015, 7:20 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
MysteryTrain wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
Challenges makes me tired, stressed and peer pressured by the mainstream rotten society.

So sick of being a tomfoolery. Can't even get friends to invite me like I ask them to. They instead hang out with other people. My social life involves where everyone is invited, like meetup and groups settings.

I had enough now.

Goodbye


Please go talk to your therapist or consider hiring a more competent one. You're trying, you're flailing, you're failing socially and have no earthly idea what you are doing wrong.

Help's available, the fact you've already got a therapist means you're in a great position to ACCESS help!


For thousands of times I told to everyone that I have been seeing counselors and professional people for six years. I have three appointments this month and last month too. I been to lots of programs, workshops and that kind of things. I did learned thousands of things. Tried new things and approached different things every single time.

I am not a fecked up dumb retarded person. These stuff I done made me to become a social aspie. This what people told me on this forum because I talked about things I am always being out. However, the problem is, it is all the events that are planned for everyone.


That is EXACTLY your problem. You have no friends, not even any close acquaintances that you spend time with one-on-one. That's a SOCIAL SKILLS problem.

Because you're presenting yourself as a socially successful Aspie with friends... and you have no friends.

You've been doing what you've been doing for years and it's not working. All those things you tried didn't work.

Why does your current therapist think you're doing everything right?

Is it possible that how you THINK you are doing socially is UNRELATED to how you're actually doing?

Have you REALLY told the therapists, programs, groups what you'd been doing? Did you REALLY do the things they suggested you do?

Because I get the impression you go through the motions, do everything the way you've always done it + then moan that nothing's works because you've DONE NOTHING.



slw1990
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08 Oct 2015, 7:42 pm

I'm sorry about what you are going through and know that it's stressful. Something you could try though is asking for feedback from some of the friends that you have known for a while. It might not help, but it's something to try.

I also remember you mentioning in another thread that a lot of the people that avoid you are people that you recently met and it's really not a good idea to expect much from people that you just met.



Ecomatt91
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09 Oct 2015, 8:26 pm

It doesn't make sense when I am old all the time I need to develop coping strategies and do mindfulness stuff. I rarely understand the processes because my aspergers brain isn't an adaptive capacity the likes of the NT brain works.

That why over the years I been counselling and professionals. Never changed and nothing worked to me. I tried so many different ones.

Looks like I need a serious rehab program or need to stop living



OliveOilMom
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09 Oct 2015, 8:29 pm

I would pick one or two people to hang out with and do that on a regular basis. Also, ask them to help you. Tell them to point out the things that make people overlook you or not ask you places. Then work on changing those things gradually. That's what I did.


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DailyPoutine1
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09 Oct 2015, 8:31 pm

You're the one killing your own life.



Ecomatt91
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09 Oct 2015, 8:51 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
I would pick one or two people to hang out with and do that on a regular basis. Also, ask them to help you. Tell them to point out the things that make people overlook you or not ask you places. Then work on changing those things gradually. That's what I did.


My friends here tried that but they get too carried away and excuse being busy. I am sure its uni work and that. But that is not helping me.

f**k this life, screwing all the opportunities I want to do that tend to fail miserably.

What happened to awesome, fun, proactive and positive lifestyle! Fcuek aspergeers killing my brain perspectives and processing too much without a matter! Gosh wy people reactions so easily offended when I am enjoyable and happy positive person!?! I thought that what people told me they feel happy and easily approach when a person is happy, bright and positive. I have been doing that, but instead I get rejections, abuses, white lies, f****d up social situations, avoidances and all of those s**t that make me baby



Ecomatt91
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09 Oct 2015, 8:52 pm

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
You're the one killing your own life.


No its not. Its my aspergers brain against the mainstream world full of NTs



OliveOilMom
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09 Oct 2015, 9:29 pm

How often are you expecting to do things? A couple times a month is actually sufficient. I've had times where I went out every night but that gets old fast. Once or twice a week is way plenty and a couple times a month is pretty much the norm, depending on how many friends you have.


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Ecomatt91
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09 Oct 2015, 9:33 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
How often are you expecting to do things? A couple times a month is actually sufficient. I've had times where I went out every night but that gets old fast. Once or twice a week is way plenty and a couple times a month is pretty much the norm, depending on how many friends you have.


Four nights on average a week. Attended up to 5-8 events in total. All are the things I am enjoyable and it is different each time.



OliveOilMom
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09 Oct 2015, 9:55 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
How often are you expecting to do things? A couple times a month is actually sufficient. I've had times where I went out every night but that gets old fast. Once or twice a week is way plenty and a couple times a month is pretty much the norm, depending on how many friends you have.


Four nights on average a week. Attended up to 5-8 events in total. All are the things I am enjoyable and it is different each time.


Four nights a week is a lot for even very social people. If you want to do that, then do it, but don't set your expectations way above the norm there.


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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com