Imagine a 30 year old male dating a 19 year old female...

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funeralxempire
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14 Apr 2019, 1:00 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Chummy wrote:
Way too young.

a 19 y.o girl just starting out her life, not sure what she wants to do whether to study or work or travel abroad for the next 3 years.

a 30 y.o dude already has a job, an apartment... he knows what he wants from life and from his (potential) relationship,and he had gone through a lot more.

If you just wanna meet to make love of course it doesn't matter.


I disagree. I'm going to be 26 soon and I'm into childlike things such as stuffed animals, unicorns, glitter and Hello Kitty. At the same time, I know what I want from life and know how to handle my emotions and problems like an adult. Whenever I feel upset, I just write in my journal and know to keep calm because the stressful situation will eventually end. If I were to meet a guy who is mature yet still enjoys video games, cartoons and is fine with my plushie collection I'll be very happy. I still couldn't date some one who is like, 35 or 40.


As long as they play nice with mine I can deal. :lol:


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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14 Apr 2019, 1:05 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Chummy wrote:
Way too young.

a 19 y.o girl just starting out her life, not sure what she wants to do whether to study or work or travel abroad for the next 3 years.

a 30 y.o dude already has a job, an apartment... he knows what he wants from life and from his (potential) relationship,and he had gone through a lot more.

If you just wanna meet to make love of course it doesn't matter.


I disagree. I'm going to be 26 soon and I'm into childlike things such as stuffed animals, unicorns, glitter and Hello Kitty. At the same time, I know what I want from life and know how to handle my emotions and problems like an adult. Whenever I feel upset, I just write in my journal and know to keep calm because the stressful situation will eventually end. If I were to meet a guy who is mature yet still enjoys video games, cartoons and is fine with my plushie collection I'll be very happy. I still couldn't date some one who is like, 35 or 40.


As long as they play nice with mine I can deal. :lol:

I wouldn't let anyone bully my Beanie Boos and fairy cat plushies, Lulu and Marina.


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funeralxempire
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14 Apr 2019, 1:17 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Chummy wrote:
Way too young.

a 19 y.o girl just starting out her life, not sure what she wants to do whether to study or work or travel abroad for the next 3 years.

a 30 y.o dude already has a job, an apartment... he knows what he wants from life and from his (potential) relationship,and he had gone through a lot more.

If you just wanna meet to make love of course it doesn't matter.


I disagree. I'm going to be 26 soon and I'm into childlike things such as stuffed animals, unicorns, glitter and Hello Kitty. At the same time, I know what I want from life and know how to handle my emotions and problems like an adult. Whenever I feel upset, I just write in my journal and know to keep calm because the stressful situation will eventually end. If I were to meet a guy who is mature yet still enjoys video games, cartoons and is fine with my plushie collection I'll be very happy. I still couldn't date some one who is like, 35 or 40.


As long as they play nice with mine I can deal. :lol:

I wouldn't let anyone bully my Beanie Boos and fairy cat plushies, Lulu and Marina.


Well, that got Noire's attention. :lol:


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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14 Apr 2019, 1:20 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Chummy wrote:
Way too young.

a 19 y.o girl just starting out her life, not sure what she wants to do whether to study or work or travel abroad for the next 3 years.

a 30 y.o dude already has a job, an apartment... he knows what he wants from life and from his (potential) relationship,and he had gone through a lot more.

If you just wanna meet to make love of course it doesn't matter.


I disagree. I'm going to be 26 soon and I'm into childlike things such as stuffed animals, unicorns, glitter and Hello Kitty. At the same time, I know what I want from life and know how to handle my emotions and problems like an adult. Whenever I feel upset, I just write in my journal and know to keep calm because the stressful situation will eventually end. If I were to meet a guy who is mature yet still enjoys video games, cartoons and is fine with my plushie collection I'll be very happy. I still couldn't date some one who is like, 35 or 40.


As long as they play nice with mine I can deal. :lol:

I wouldn't let anyone bully my Beanie Boos and fairy cat plushies, Lulu and Marina.


Well, that got Noire's attention. :lol:

Who the high heck is Noire?


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funeralxempire
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15 Apr 2019, 3:33 am

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Chummy wrote:
Way too young.

a 19 y.o girl just starting out her life, not sure what she wants to do whether to study or work or travel abroad for the next 3 years.

a 30 y.o dude already has a job, an apartment... he knows what he wants from life and from his (potential) relationship,and he had gone through a lot more.

If you just wanna meet to make love of course it doesn't matter.


I disagree. I'm going to be 26 soon and I'm into childlike things such as stuffed animals, unicorns, glitter and Hello Kitty. At the same time, I know what I want from life and know how to handle my emotions and problems like an adult. Whenever I feel upset, I just write in my journal and know to keep calm because the stressful situation will eventually end. If I were to meet a guy who is mature yet still enjoys video games, cartoons and is fine with my plushie collection I'll be very happy. I still couldn't date some one who is like, 35 or 40.


As long as they play nice with mine I can deal. :lol:

I wouldn't let anyone bully my Beanie Boos and fairy cat plushies, Lulu and Marina.


Well, that got Noire's attention. :lol:

Who the high heck is Noire?


My stuffed cat, not a fairy though.


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kraftiekortie
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15 Apr 2019, 10:25 am

Back 20-30 years ago or more, that question wouldn't even have been asked---unless the older person was in a position of power (like a professor or boss).



graceksjp
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16 Apr 2019, 5:02 pm

I know the maturity argument makes sense, but I think theres a lot of ways in which it doesnt.
Some 30 year olds might still be clinging to the last few fun young moments from their twenties, but in a couple years they might think about really growing up and wanting that full adult life. On the other hand, their significant other is only just now able to legally drink alcohol (and wouldnt that be a bummer of an age difference in a relationship!)
Plenty of 30 year olds might be thinking about marriage and kids in a few years, but again the other half is still in college- potentially for several more years.
I feel like when one half is that young, the age gap means more. It might be setting the relationship of for failure down the road. Maybe wait till the 19 year old graduates? Their lives might be more steady then.

And yes, I know that doesnt apply to everyone. But I do think it applies to more people than a bunch of 30-35 year olds who still want to be frat boys. (remember: the majority of people on this site are on the spectrum. maturity might be a bit different than other 30 year olds)
Anyways it depends on the people involved. These days most people dislike age gaps bigger than a few years. They want someone their own age, going through the same stages of life as them. And way down the road, a decade makes a difference. Regardless of mental state, physically thats a pretty big difference. They should be prepared for a whole lot of public judging. Especially if they decide to stay together for years.


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funeralxempire
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16 Apr 2019, 5:11 pm

Keep in mind, just because some 19 year olds are in college and still able to get away with basically being kids/students for a few more years, other 19 year olds already have a preschool age kid and have been working full-time for a year or two and would basically view me as 'the kid' (lives at home with parents, wastes money on toys and time/energy on making music for himself, has no career) who would be outgrown in a year or two. (not a reference to my ex, she was a student and pretty immature for that matter, even compared to other 19 year olds, or me (but not me at 19 >.>)


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Aspie1
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16 Apr 2019, 6:42 pm

graceksjp wrote:
I know the maturity argument makes sense, but I think theres a lot of ways in which it doesnt.
Some 30 year olds might still be clinging to the last few fun young moments from their twenties, but in a couple years they might think about really growing up and wanting that full adult life. On the other hand, their significant other is only just now able to legally drink alcohol (and wouldnt that be a bummer of an age difference in a relationship!)
Plenty of 30 year olds might be thinking about marriage and kids in a few years, but again the other half is still in college- potentially for several more years.

Heck, I'm 35, and I still want to have fun and enjoy life. Not sentence myself to marital prison, like my (former) friends did. Heck, they're joined at the hip with their wives 24/7, and pretty much threw me out of their lives for being single. Before they did it, I joined their couple hangouts as an odd-numbered wheel. Most often, it was snoozefest dinner parties with all couples plus me. Those dinner parties were so bad, I wanted to stab my jugular with a fork! It was a bunch of couples spewing how much they love each other, and just talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. My suggestions to at least play a board game fell on deaf ears. Then came along the woman who quickly became my best friend. She was 22 at the time, now 24.

In a way, I felt and still feel guilty about dating her. She has that silly, playful, childlike streak that I very much adore. When we hang out, we act like college kids: drink vodka-laced Slurpees while swinging on playground swings, dance in the middle of an alley to music coming from behind a restaurant, volunteer at an animal shelter just to pet their cats and dogs, and play Chutes and Ladders in a hipster coffee shop. All in all, she seems almost too nice and sweet of a person for someone bitter and jaded like me, and comes off as "fragile" at times. The idea of sex with her almost feels morally wrong. :? But I'm glad I met her, and our friendship is still going strong, so I hope it stays that way.



graceksjp
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17 Apr 2019, 10:43 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Keep in mind, just because some 19 year olds are in college and still able to get away with basically being kids/students for a few more years, other 19 year olds already have a preschool age kid and have been working full-time for a year or two and would basically view me as 'the kid' (lives at home with parents, wastes money on toys and time/energy on making music for himself, has no career) who would be outgrown in a year or two. (not a reference to my ex, she was a student and pretty immature for that matter, even compared to other 19 year olds, or me (but not me at 19 >.>)


I know thats kinda the problem with generalization. But I dont think 19 year old parents are the norm.

I think maturity is a big thing. But I think its best to find someone close to you in maturity and in age. Just because I can sometimes act like a 12 year old, doesnt mean I should date a 12 year old. Ya know?


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sly279
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17 Apr 2019, 4:45 pm

An if no one your age is close to your maturity and refuses to date you you should what reject younger women Abe be alone forever?

Are you comparing dating younger adult women to pedophiles ?

Here a lot of 19 old women have kids. Some have multiple kids.


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kraftiekortie
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17 Apr 2019, 5:51 pm

She's not saying you're a pedophile. I guess she's not into older men.

I don't believe you dating a 19-year-old should be considered anything to be judged. I just don't believe it's really that big a deal.



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17 Apr 2019, 5:56 pm

The rule I've heard is half your age plus seven. Because algebra is involved in dating now.


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kraftiekortie
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17 Apr 2019, 6:04 pm

According to that rule, Sly can date somebody 22 1/2 years old or above LOL



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17 Apr 2019, 6:13 pm

X/2 + 7 = :heart:


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kraftiekortie
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17 Apr 2019, 6:19 pm

There used to be this comic called "The Far Side."

Within one episode, a whole bunch of people were talking to each other in equations within a "singles bar".....