Imagine a 30 year old male dating a 19 year old female...

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Aspie1
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17 Apr 2019, 10:11 pm

graceksjp wrote:
Doesnt dating typically come with sex?
Typically, yes. But I'm at a point in life where the idea of having sex disgusts me. This includes most forms of foreplay and even nudity. I'd sell my soul to date without sex. Fully-clothed French kissing and fondling is fine if I'm really drunk, and only if I'm really drunk, but that's the maximum I'm comfortable with. Sadly, most women my age won't stand for it; they'll demand sex from me. :( Well, at least today, I have a plausible excuse: the antidepressant I take wiped out whatever was left of my libido.



kraftiekortie
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17 Apr 2019, 10:40 pm

Sex is definitely NOT necessary in a dating relationship.



IsabellaLinton
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17 Apr 2019, 10:45 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Sex is definitely NOT necessary in a dating relationship.


Seconded.



sly279
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17 Apr 2019, 11:48 pm

Disagree


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kraftiekortie
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18 Apr 2019, 5:24 am

It’s always nice when sex is part of the package. And it has been on many occasions.

But I’ve also been in dating relationships where there was affection....but no sex. And I felt okay with it. She just wanted to wait a little bit.



AnneOleson
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18 Apr 2019, 7:40 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
graceksjp wrote:
Doesnt dating typically come with sex?
Typically, yes. But I'm at a point in life where the idea of having sex disgusts me. This includes most forms of foreplay and even nudity. I'd sell my soul to date without sex. Fully-clothed French kissing and fondling is fine if I'm really drunk, and only if I'm really drunk, but that's the maximum I'm comfortable with. Sadly, most women my age won't stand for it; they'll demand sex from me. :( Well, at least today, I have a plausible excuse: the antidepressant I take wiped out whatever was left of my libido.

I thought your new antidepressant fixed that problem and made you extra “frisky “?



Aspie1
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19 Apr 2019, 8:28 am

AnneOleson wrote:
I thought your new antidepressant fixed that problem and made you extra “frisky “?
Not quite. Effexor actually lowers your libido as a side effect. My doctor warned me; I told him I didn't care. As a result, I can talk to attractive women, flirt with them, and hug them, and yet feel nothing sexually. On that note, I noticed that women seem more comfortable hugging me and dancing with me than they did before I went on Effexor. Although, my aversion to everything beyond hugs started back in 2017, when my friends moved in with their girlfriends and started living like prison inmates, with the only differences being sex with a woman and better food.

In the nightclub incident, it wasn't even sex; it was just French kissing and a little extra. Fully clothed, in public view on the dance floor, all while I was drunk as a skunk. Not only that, the woman didn't demand a relationship from me afterwards. Which made me feel "safe" with her. I'm sure she just got giddy from the nightclub atmosphere, and wanted to fool around a little with a man she found attractive (me). That felt like a bigger compliment than anything else I can think of, and I'm sure it counteracted some of Effexor's libido-killing effects. (As opposed to her demanding a relationship with me, along with the prison-like drudgery that comes with it, because we kissed.)



The Grand Inquisitor
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19 Apr 2019, 7:46 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Sex is definitely NOT necessary in a dating relationship.

If it's only dating and the relationship hasn't progressed to exclusivity then it's not necessary, nor is it necessary if both parties don't want to have sex, but in an exclusive relationship, if one party wants to have sex and the other doesn't, that's a big problem from the get-go, and if both parties want to have sex then there's nothing stopping them.



graceksjp
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20 Apr 2019, 11:35 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Sex is definitely NOT necessary in a dating relationship.


Yeah but I find it hard to believe that you can have like a long relationship and never have sex.
At least, not with people my age. (thats like 90% of girl talk, and 99% of locker talk) I mean, Ive had plenty of guys ask for sex before dating, as well as a few who decided to skip the 'ask' step completely.
Personally, little to no sex sounds fine to me. But a good half or more of my friends breakups are because of sex (or lack thereof) so it just doesnt seem very likely


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22 Apr 2019, 3:47 pm

I can imagine a very specific 19 year old this 34 year old would love to date. :oops: :heart:


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22 Apr 2019, 4:19 pm

I am considered unqualified for even women my age (30). I've actually been pressured to date elderly women and have even had women old enough to be my great grandmother flirt on me instead of women my age. I really should just go ahead and kill myself since all I have to look forward to is suffering until I get cremated.



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22 Apr 2019, 4:26 pm

Marknis wrote:
I am considered unqualified for even women my age (30). I've actually been pressured to date elderly women and have even had women old enough to be my great grandmother flirt on me instead of women my age. I really should just go ahead and kill myself since all I have to look forward to is suffering until I get cremated.
I just had elderly women tell me how they wish their daughters or granddaughters would go out with me but none of those women actually set me up or came on to me themselves.


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sly279
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22 Apr 2019, 6:18 pm

nick007 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I am considered unqualified for even women my age (30). I've actually been pressured to date elderly women and have even had women old enough to be my great grandmother flirt on me instead of women my age. I really should just go ahead and kill myself since all I have to look forward to is suffering until I get cremated.
I just had elderly women tell me how they wish their daughters or granddaughters would go out with me but none of those women actually set me up or came on to me themselves.

People lie to look civil.
They don’t actually mean what they say.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Apr 2019, 6:58 pm

They usually halfway mean it----but they don't want to put in the effort.

That's how I see it.



sly279
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22 Apr 2019, 8:15 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
They usually halfway mean it----but they don't want to put in the effort.

That's how I see it.

Parents and grandparents usually tell their daughters to not date men like me. If one brought me homed they’d try to talk her into leaving me. I’ve seen and heard how they view men like me.


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funeralxempire
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22 Apr 2019, 10:03 pm

sly279 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I am considered unqualified for even women my age (30). I've actually been pressured to date elderly women and have even had women old enough to be my great grandmother flirt on me instead of women my age. I really should just go ahead and kill myself since all I have to look forward to is suffering until I get cremated.
I just had elderly women tell me how they wish their daughters or granddaughters would go out with me but none of those women actually set me up or came on to me themselves.

People lie to look civil.
They don’t actually mean what they say.


Dishonesty is the real social lubricant.


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"If you stick a knife in my back 9 inches and pull it out 6 inches, there's no progress. If you pull it all the way out, that's not progress. The progress is healing the wound that the blow made... and they won't even admit the knife is there." Malcolm X
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