Easily Trusting Businesses, But Difficulty Trusting Friends

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Aspie1
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13 Oct 2015, 11:22 pm

Due to the characters length limit in the title (Alex, mods, sysadmins, can we increase it please?), I couldn't word it properly. Basically, I tend to easily trust businesses, but often have difficulty trusting friends whenever there's something that needs to get done, organized, or decided. Instead of rambling, I'll illustrate it with discrete examples.

Example 1: getting to places
Businesses: When I'm taking a public bus or train, I pretty much space out. I pay just enough attention to be aware of my surroundings. I only start paying attention to where I am when I know my stop/station is near. The same is true when I'm taking a taxi or an Uber/Lyft car. I mostly leave the driver alone, and just relax.
Friends: But when one of my friends is driving me, I watch the surrounding streets like a hawk! I look at all street name sign and building numbers, to know where I am, and keep a super-close eye on the road. I also take constant mental snapshots of major streets and landmarks. I manage to do this even when completely drunk.

Example 2: being fixed up
Businesses: I attend singles' events in my city on a semi-regular basis. Although I don't usually have good luck at those, I never fear attending one. I somehow trust the event organizers to give me a decent experience. The only factor that keeps me from attending are the high prices that some organizers charge.
Friends: But when my friends offer to fix me up with a girl they know, I always vehemently refuse. I somehow don't trust them to find a girl who's actually going to be a decent person, and want to avoid all the drama. Then when that girl appears on the scene, I can't help viewing her with suspicion as well.

Example 3: picking a club
Businesses: I'm very good at finding information on the internet. So when I read reviews or even advertising about a some club, I generally trust them to be mostly accurate. So when I pick a club based on that information, I'm able to go there for the first time with a clear, unbiased mind.
Friends: But when a friend tells me he found a "really cool club", I automatically "know" I will hate that place with a passion. Then I spend tons of time searching around online, looking for reviews, blogs, official sites, fan sites, etc., any information I can get, to either confirm or allay my fears.

Why is that? I've typed this post with a guilty conscience, and I hope my friends never read this thread. Can someone help me understand why I easily trust soulless organizations that are only in it for the money, and can't bring myself to trust my friends with things like driving, fix-ups, or picking a club? Any thoughts are welcomed and appreciated.



2wheels4ever
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14 Oct 2015, 11:23 pm

It's the aspect of structure to it: Planes, trains and buses have rigid routes and schedules, taxicabs are usually confined to certain areas of a city/ county and must meet standard criteria to retain their permit. Uber is the wild-card but I'm sure they draw the line at having drivers with felonies on their records. The other examples indicate that if it's written down somewhere in black-and-white then it's more easily quantified and inherently superior as a result. The Tony Robbins and Neuro-Linguistic Programming books use a term called anchoring and show how seeing symbols such as a giant yellow M or a blue oval or hearing a song melody can cause strong emotions in the bolder's heart.

Or it could be: these people are professionals, it's their job to get it right. If the friends were any good at suggestions someone would have already hired them. Though I'd find that to be a bit cynical


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Aspie1
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17 Oct 2015, 10:22 am

I think another reason is recourse. When something is done by a business, I know I have recourse if something goes wrong due to their negligence (as opposed to weather or road construction). I can report a taxi driver to their company, I can give an Uber driver a low rating, and I've never seen a bus driver being negligent to begin with. I logically know that most club ads are exaggerated, and that some reviews are falsified by employees, so I know to take those with a grain of salt. And singles' events are meant to bring people together, with most of the revenue coming from bar sales, rather than lonely repeat customers; otherwise word would get around and they'd fold.

But I have zero recourse when friends mess up. When they delay driving until we miss a concert, fix me up with a girl who hates me from the get-go, or hype up a club (e.g. "The women there are gorgeous!") that turns out to be a nightmare. At best, they'd mumble "sorry". At worst, they'd laugh at me. Plus, I've read an article about how most "nice" (i.e. non-dive) clubs are set up to deliberately make you feel tense and awkward,---and their tactics are directed at NTs---to make you turn to alcohol to dull the discomfort, and thus increase their revenue. Ahh, if only my NT friends could understand this simple fact.



glebel
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17 Oct 2015, 10:38 am

I don't trust businesses unless they prove to me that they are trustworthy. Same thing goes for people.
As far as having recourse when a company screws you over, I have never found this to be true, particularly when it is a large corporation. They have the politicians in their pockets, along with the courts, so to get justice is pretty much an impossibility.
I favor giving my business to mom-and-pop operations. You can trust them.


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