A fix for Shyness?

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no girls like NBA 2k14!! !

Perhaps there's something about him, something that sets him apart from the rest of the crowd, and that appeals to her.

I strongly advise the use of drugs for social lubrication. It's not just about fitting in, you should be concerned about what it will do to you. Long-term users of cannabis become unmotivated, brain damaged and "burnt out".

I'd also advice against the use of psychedelics to improve sociability.

I recall you had limited success with dating sites. Tinder in particular.

That's what some women look for / are attracted to.

If a girl shows interest in 10-20 other guys besides me, then I won't show any interest in her. Not being exclusive in the courtship phase is a major deal breaker.

As for why a girl might want to chose a shy guy instead of an outgoing, I think there could be many reasons for that. One could be that they are compatible because shyness is a neurodiverse trait.

I really wish game were my personal forte ^^;

considering I am in japan were drugs laws are super harsh and I am working for a company that requires drugs tests, and I work with schools, drugs are probably not a good idea...

well that's the hook, in informal and even informal situations I can be very outgoing, its just the matter of intimate situations, or situations where you have to initiate something. is not hard to roll a boulder that is already moving. I don't know...

as far as drinking, if I get get buzzed I tend to become a loud over the top as*hole that tells outrageous stories in funny voices. again, great with friends, not so much some one you just met.

yeah, but what percentage of females look for that? I don't think that is high on the bell curve.

Yeah, but you don't need 98765432 women that are interested. A few would be enough. Relationships are not a quantity-game, it's all about quality and compatibility.

I know what you mean. Same here. It is very different to approach somebody as a friend or superficial acquaintance than as a possible romantic partner. It's only in the latter case that I'm unable to approach.



I just fall asleep when I drink, so doesn't work for me.

yes, but the 98765432 are A. not in the same location, and B. there is no way to detect someone's affinity for shy males from a distance, and C. the percentage of the 98765432 that want shy males, are !. probably high and 2, spread very thinly across the entire planet, AND you have to factor in whether or not they are already in a relationship.

again, I am not saying that numbers determines compatibility, but rather the likelihood of finding compatibility. I have been in work environments where I was attracted to fellow employee and was building up the nerve to make a move, but like always, for every woman, they are 10 guys going for her, and the vulgar and sexual aggressive dudes in the kitchen made the first move in a very lewdly phrased way. And yeah...she didn't want anything to do with the kitchen guys after that. so another variable that needs to be factored, are you going to lumped in with the scumbags if you try anything?

Prescription anti anxiety drugs life sertraline or mirtazipne can help with shyness, though shyness i don't think is in itself a problem and as was said can definitely be appealing. Anxiety caused by shyness i think is something else though, and its inhibiting and crippling. I think its good to separate the two, as shyness, like a super animated personality type, really can be appreciated. If someone says to a shy person, you are too shy they withdraw, or try to be more expressive or loud, and neither of these things works as its not natural. People will always tell shy people to stop being shy, but they don't realise the damage it does, and usually unless the person is a complete ass hat, they don't mean it as quite the criticism the shy person can take their comment to be. I think its super exaggerated in a shy persons brain, that they are being very unattractive somehow. Loudness and brashness is celebrated in modern western culture, which can be hard for a shy person, and its common to take mention of shyness as the deepest of insult, that causes massive, and overwhelming anxiety.
I don't think there is a cure for shyness, in similar way to there not being a cure for ASD. There should equally be an equivalent to wrongplanet that exists just for shy people i think. Sometimes i think it must be harder for guys sometimes as society seems to place importance on a guy being all obviously demonstrating the impact of his personality, but it can definitely affect women too!
I wish i knew a simple painless way to remove anxiety, but anxiety tells us when we are stressed about something, even though sometimes we do not need to be stressed. Anxiety can be triggered and become escalated, and even result in panic attacks, when there is actually no real danger, but even in the scary loop of a panic attack, (which can be easily cured when you know what's going on) anxiety is there saying something is wrong, be afraid of it! Anxiety about shyness occurs when we think shyness is wrong, when we overreact to comments about shyness, or believe we have to 'fix it' for other people.
If only we had the social validation the more extroverted people have when others tell them they are being too much, and being 'too much' is not idolised because society does not dictates that we 'should' hold extroversion in the highest regard. Sadly that is the way especially the west is geared towards personality types. It takes a brave person with the understanding of what's happening socially to be able to say f**k it, i wont let small comments about shyness rock how i am. Someone who doesn't become terribly anxious at the prospect of any mention of being to shy, and who doesn't react to any comments by trying to compensate for shyness, who just continues being how they. I think this may be the way to reducing anxiety, the thing which really does cripple social interaction, and masquerades as being shyness.

There is no way to do it online, or without being physically at the same place, but it is possible to do IRL.



The percentage might be 10%, but that is still plenty enough unless you don't go out much. From my school days, I think there was one almost in each class. The trick is to be able to detect them. They won't exactly go up and tell you they like shy guys. Many of them are shy themselves.



Then you are attracted to the wrong girls. Girls that falls for such superficial things quite likely are not into shy guys. They are the one's looking for outgoing guys that can charm them with their verbal abilities.

I do go out when I can here, but I don't think randomly approaching some one you don't know at the store for a date is going to be well received.




yeah... she didn't fall for ANYONE, she basically just blacklisted all of us int he kitchen, becasue of that one guy.