Some people find that things work out better for them if they don't disclose to anyone, but instead simply address specific traits or symptoms as and when (or if) they come up.
Tony Attwood a specialist in Asperger's, recommends sentences that begin with "I'm the type of person who...." -- gets a bit more anxious than most people/ doesn't cope well with crowds or noisy places/ doesn't smile much even though I'm feeling fine inside -- etc etc.
Explain the trait at hand rather than the whole autism spectrum. It's my opinion, personally, that autism and Asperger's STILL is not understood at all by most people in the general public, and to tell them the label just makes their minds bring to the fore a whole bunch of strange ideas and mistaken stereotypes that you will have even more trouble arguing about or trying to educate them about.
I've told two people and had bad experiences with both. One of them has blabbed her freakin' mouth to everyone she knows, so that now there's a bunch of people I run into on a casual basis who know this about me when it would ever have been my intention to tell it to those specific people. My friend has treated it like it's her information to hand out as public knowledge, and I never permitted that -- she just assumed it, like it's no big deal.
It's a big deal to me because I've decided it's private and only a "need to know" basis will be operated - by me. She's blown that for me.
The other friend I told literally, physically laughed in my face. I've had to "educate" him about the spectrum and it's an uphill climb. It's hard work. It's something that now keeps cropping up. So instead of just socializing, which is already hard work for me, I now have this "educator" role too -- I'm exhausted.
I would tell "just go read this book" but he's not much of a reader.
I can't be freaking bothered with this BS. So I'm just not bothering to tell anyone anymore.
EDIT -- just remembered -- there was a third person I told. I used to work for her (she's a client). One day I had acute anxiety trying to leave when her kids were blocking the door and acting up. I didn't have an outright meltdown or anything at all horrible, I just became anxious, slightly shutdown, and left in a huge hurry.
I later apologized to her and actually explained I have been diagnosed with Asperger's. She's a child psychologist, so I figured she would have an understanding that it's no big thing. She replied "Oh I totally understand."
Interestingly, after a week or so I found a nice note and gift from her, "letting me go" /no longer requiring my services. I had been working for her for about three years prior to this.
No way of knowing (and she would deny it anyway) if it was my anxiety attack and my disclosure that prompted the letting me go. But file it under "things that make ya go hmmm..."
18 Oct 2015, 2:52 pm
