Do you have a red flag list?

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Addicted to technology, drugs,

Criminal conviction (, it could be wrongfully accused, but I don't want to know)

Personality disorder (inam a hypocrite)

Control freak

biggest one is right-wingers who in my experience are ALWAYS ableist which is itself the second biggest red flag.

Won't tolerate dissent

Not receptive to learning new things

Calls women "girls"

Unjustified touching

Always calling

Impatient, demanding,

Refers to himself as "most people"

I think a big one is if they refer to all of their exes as "crazy" or "b**ches," etc.


Word choice doesn't matter all that much, but if they have nothing good to say about any of their exes, of if they say stuff like "they all abandoned me." That's extremely fishy, and you're likely to end up in the same boat.

Also, when people say "You're perfect" (which is not only a red flag, but also just really annoying and cheesy)." What that really means is "You're perfect, until you prove otherwise, and you'd better hope you don't."

Thought of another one... The victim mentality, my ex had that in spades, he used to gaslight me and at one point I did believe him, that I was the real source of the problems in the marriage.
He done a lot of things to protect his self image, and especially in the last few years at my cost. The experience has helped me identify these red flags in others, I don't just look out for them in men. I find that observing and analysing these traits in all people to be the best way to add context and identify those who would harm me if given the chance.

I have a book - it's more humour but does have interesting facts in it - "The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags" by Burton, Fishman, and McCrary

Something even better - another book - "How Men Think" by Shawn T. Smith.

Also, "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout

Youtube videos by Dr. Ramani Durvasula (THE BEST!! !!)

If I set a boundary, even one as mundane as 'please don't call me after 9 pm,' and somebody ignores it, it is a red flag.

When they micromanage you. f**k Anthony Rodgers. "We would rather not have you doing yoga. It's distracting.". The lil penis had the nerve to tell me. Eight years ago. how about, we would rather not have you continue living. It's distracting? ",We" means two or more. There are seven billion people on Earth. Everything is either grounding, neither , or "distracting". f**k you, Anthony Rodgers!

Excessive compliments or criticism. f**k Rolando Do NOT tell me that you are glad that I rolled my sleeves down. Seriously "Actions speak louder than words,". "Loose lips sink ships"



Failure to apologize or make amends

Republican. f**k Arthur white.

Too many jokes about me (or anything else). f**k professor saier. Not everything is funny. Nor should it be

Complain too much

Judgmental attitude ("cool", "sucks"). ("Most people") . Some things are "cool" and some things "suck". Cope with it, ass hole

Flaker

"Are you ok?". Always trying to get me to say "thank you".

Wrongful accusations. Some dipshit had the nerve to accuse me of breaking it's biscotti. It was already broken in the store. Dipshit did not take video tape or fingerprints. If it is going to accuse me of that, it shows that it is biased against me and eager to blame me for anything.

right wingers in general all my life have been a big red flag.

Insisting on getting their way


Some lil dipshits are so full of themselves, that they truly believe that any time they are not happy, someone violated their stupidass "rights,"


Saying "sorry" for things that are not their fault

That way you can't distinguish sympathy from apology


For example, ozben felek b***h told me "sorry" she took her Fido inside the dojo. But it's Leash Law. Not sorry you are afraid of dogs make it clear, b***h

I've always been mistrustful of someone who tries too hard to get to know me right off the bat. Best case scenario, they're very neurotypical; worst case, they are "cultivating" me for some agenda of their own. So I guess this behavior would constitute a red flag.

I apologize for those who I unfairly judge, but too much blaming of others or avoidance of personal responsibility is probably not going to work well for me. Such people may have legitimate reasons for that, but I don't want to be around it, personally. It will just be a matter of time before we clash.

When they are too vague

Like overusing "respect", "rude", "people".

"You don't look like you would hurt anyone", Jeanne Courtney told me

People that do not look like they would hurt people still hurt people

In 35 years , more than two people, rightly or wrongly, thought or said , that I "hurt" them. Purposely or not. And the definition of "hurt" is for the alleged victim to decide


Splitting fine hairs

Cruelty to animals, or those who have pets and are irresponsible when taking care of them

Making fun of people with disabilities, or making fun of anyone

Not honoring commitments

Gaslighting, making people doubt their sanity

- substance abuse and addiction
- liars or people with a chronic need to make excuses
- gaslighting or any sign of narcissism
- cruelty or neglect of animals
- rude behaviour to strangers (waiters, etc)
- rage issues (especially with a failure to seek help)
- poor money management, bankruptcy, bad credit
- racism, homophobia or transphobia
- recurrent unemployment or "using the system", grifters
- people who are codependent and can't take care of themselves

How often do they have to fail to honor commitments? Certainly there has to be margin of error. And extreme events happen. But some idiots cancelled on me for every slightest thing .


"Cruelty to animals"?

That's vague. When you make the statement so vague, you make it so nobody in their right mind could disagree. But two different people have two different definitions of "cruelty,"

An off leash dog bit me, I screamed, and some dipshit had the nerve to tell me to leave the building. "We don't treat animals that way! Animal rights!"


The dipshit acted like I violated the dogs ",rights" by screaming. And the dog did not violate my ",rights" by biting me.