I found telling people you have ASD is a good thing

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infilove
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02 Nov 2015, 1:31 am

I used to always not want to tell people i had asperger's and keep it a secret. I did it for years, but recently, i decided to let people know i have it when the time's appropriate. As a result, i was surprised to find out that it is actually good to let people know. I find it makes socializing easier, actually takes away awkwardness, and make you less nervous. I find most people actually dont care which is kind of a pleasant surprise but yet it also makes them understand during times when you are awkword. In fact, i even found that most girls who i knew thst where attracted to me and flirted still did after they knew!


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starfox
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02 Nov 2015, 1:42 am

Hmm okay. I'm a girl but I'm not sure if things will go the same for me if I tell I have asperegers. If you don't mind who did you tell? Was it college friends or workmates etc.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Nov 2015, 1:54 am

I'm glad you've had good experiences when you have told people you've got Aspergers.

I'd still be wary of revealing it to employers,though.



BirdInFlight
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02 Nov 2015, 12:36 pm

I'm glad you're finding this to be a good experience for you.

I think, though, that telling/disclosing is probably a highly subjective thing with widely varying results for different individuals. In the same way that one person telling a joke is hugely successful with that joke, while another person telling it even in the same words finds that people don't respond as positively, and it's all to do with a hundred little differences in presentation, I think disclosing ASD is probably the same changeable thing depending on "who you are" in many different little ways. And what the situation is.

Someone "high functioning" (for want of a better term) who has had to survive by making sure they don't seem anything but just like everyone else, might find that telling people they have an ASD results in nothing but derision, doubt, laughter, or even anger at them -- maybe with one or two people saying they figured as much, but not everyone.

Someone who hasn't hidden their traits may find that they receive nothing but understanding, help, positive vibes and supportiveness.

It all kind of depends on lots and lots of individual aspects of who you are, how you seem, what others seem to believe about you or assume of you (and whether the truth is different from their perception) -- lots of factors can play into the reception a person gets when they are open about their diagnosis.

Lots depends on how ignorant (or not) the people are whom you're telling. There are a lot of badly uninformed and misinformed people out there, who believe stereotypes, and negative ones. Or who don't know much at all except there's only severe autism, and so to them anyone who walks, talks, has a job or a relationship "can't possibly have it." it can be an uphill climb having to explain stuff to this type of person, and life could get arduous.

I think it's great when people can tell everyone in their life, and it works out -- I actually envy that. For me personally, I've found problems with the few people I've told, and there are scenarios in which I can see it would be disaster (mostly work-related for me personally).



infilove
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24 Nov 2015, 10:13 pm

starfox wrote:
Hmm okay. I'm a girl but I'm not sure if things will go the same for me if I tell I have asperegers. If you don't mind who did you tell? Was it college friends or workmates etc.


Ive told my college friends, none college biddies, employees at my job, professors, girls I've dated in the past (and they still wanted me), police, and even announced it on facebook.

I however have learned to not tell any future employers you have it. I told two employers from previous jobs I had it in which I lost shorty after and one time I almost had a job offered to me during an interview and announced it and didn't get offered the job. I've heard many as pies specialists say you should be honest about your disability but I've found it's better to hold off on that until the benefits of this condition is more known in the workforce.


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Grammar Geek
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24 Nov 2015, 11:21 pm

What do employers have against it? Are they just ignorant about it and think that if you have something with "Syndrome" at the end that there's nothing beneficial about it and it would only hinder you?



Jacoby
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24 Nov 2015, 11:24 pm

Besides some sort of support worker I don't talk to anyone about it, nobody understands it and I don't want to be judged so why do that to myself? The oft chance they have a relative on the spectrum that they care about enough to be educated about? Yeah right. Tell people this and they'll just think I'm a bigger freak or ret*d.



rebbieh
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25 Nov 2015, 1:05 am

infilove wrote:
I used to always not want to tell people i had asperger's and keep it a secret. I did it for years, but recently, i decided to let people know i have it when the time's appropriate.


When do you think it's appropriate to tell someone about the diagnosis? There are some people I have to tell (for example professors at university in order to get the support I need) but I never really know whether or not to tell other people about it.



nurseangela
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25 Nov 2015, 2:05 am

infilove wrote:
I used to always not want to tell people i had asperger's and keep it a secret. I did it for years, but recently, i decided to let people know i have it when the time's appropriate. As a result, i was surprised to find out that it is actually good to let people know. I find it makes socializing easier, actually takes away awkwardness, and make you less nervous. I find most people actually dont care which is kind of a pleasant surprise but yet it also makes them understand during times when you are awkword. In fact, i even found that most girls who i knew thst where attracted to me and flirted still did after they knew!


That's great! I've always said that I would want to know - communication is hard enough as it is.


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nurseangela
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25 Nov 2015, 2:08 am

infilove wrote:
starfox wrote:
Hmm okay. I'm a girl but I'm not sure if things will go the same for me if I tell I have asperegers. If you don't mind who did you tell? Was it college friends or workmates etc.


Ive told my college friends, none college biddies, employees at my job, professors, girls I've dated in the past (and they still wanted me), police, and even announced it on facebook.

I however have learned to not tell any future employers you have it. I told two employers from previous jobs I had it in which I lost shorty after and one time I almost had a job offered to me during an interview and announced it and didn't get offered the job. I've heard many as pies specialists say you should be honest about your disability but I've found it's better to hold off on that until the benefits of this condition is more known in the workforce.


I agree totally about the job thing. I told my Aspie friend the same thing.


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DevilKisses
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25 Nov 2015, 4:48 am

I don't like to disclose it because people treat me differently when I do. They talk down to me and think all of my differences must be caused by autism.


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Ettina
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25 Nov 2015, 7:08 am

Probably 95% of the time when I've told someone, it had good or neutral results. The remaining 5% reacted badly, generally by treating me 'like a child' (something I hated even when I was a child, by the way).



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25 Nov 2015, 7:18 am

I am aware, and have been for a long time, that it is better to just tell people my condition. But, for some reason, I still feel really embarrassed about it. I don't know why really. I haven't even told my boyfriend, and I've been with him over a year. Obviously I can't hide my eccentricness, and he has figured out that I get worried over different things, and that I'm shy and rather reserved. But just those symptoms alone don't give away my AS. I don't have a special interest, I like gossip, I make normal eye contact, I am able to identify and express my feelings, I have no trouble reading other people's emotions through body language, I am not that intelligent, I like being touched, I'm good at being a loving girlfriend, I don't have a rigid routine, I don't stim, I have a sense of humour...all of those symptoms missing can mask my diagnosis pretty well.

The only thing what might give it away one day is the day we get married, because he will wonder why I haven't invited any friends to the wedding, only close family. He wants to invite his friends as well as his close family, and for a young person of my age to not have many friends is quite abnormal. At the moment he thinks I have more friends than what I really have. I have about 2 or 3 decent friends, and a few at work who I fit in with, but otherwise just lots of acquaintances around who aren't close friends but are nice enough. I think it's the way I enjoy gossip, spend a lot of time on Facebook, and talk to him about people at my work, is what makes it look like my social life is more than what it is. The friends I have got aren't the party type, maybe only one might go. I'm not sure if just inviting close family to your wedding=you have 0 friends.


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Joe90
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25 Nov 2015, 7:33 am

Ah, about the employment lark. I'm afraid to disclose the AS to the employer, but I'm afraid to NOT disclose it.

I'm afraid that if I don't disclose it, and just say "no" when asked at the interview if I have a disability, and I get offered the job, that I might do or say odd things on my first few weeks, or become stressed easily, and then people will start thinking I'm weird, and the employer might not like me and fire me. It'd be too late to just say "oh, all my odd behaviours is only because I have AS", because they will just say "well we did ask you at the interview if you have any disability of any kind and you said no." So either way it will end up being my fault. I really don't want that to happen. I know my disability isn't that obvious, but sometimes people have been catty towards me due to intolerance of my odd ways. And admittedly, the people at the place I currently work are all accepting of me because most know about my diagnosis and just want to help me if I need any help. They don't treat me like a child either. Unfortunately not every workplace is friendly and nice like that.


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