Do you feel like the world is out to get you?

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ThisAdamGuy
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04 Nov 2015, 7:10 pm

I'll admit it, I'm a complainer. I complain every day, and while I know I should try to be more positive, it just feels like so many things are going wrong that I have to complain about them or they'll never get fixed. Usually, it's about my job. I can always find things wrong with my job. My boss is a jerk, nobody explains things things right, my customers are jerks, my equipment is always broken, etc. Honestly, sometimes it feels like the world is intentionally putting these little problems in my way, big enough to drive me nuts but small enough that I just annoy people when I talk about them. I know that these aren't problems exclusive to me, but it seems like I'm the only one complaining about it. My parents say it's because I have Aspergers, but even they think I'm too negative. Is this normal for aspies? Finding problems in everything and being unable to look past them?


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Lilyz
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05 Nov 2015, 10:48 am

Yes, that is completely normal! Whenever I get upset, I always look at the negative of things and complain about them, and it's hard for me to look at the positive things instead. I complain all the time too. You are not alone. ;)



Neotenous Nordic
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05 Nov 2015, 11:01 am

Acknowledging your problems and allowing yourself to feel upset, violated or ignored is perfectly fine and healthy. Otherwise, you are repressing your feelings, and then they will eventually catch up with you and potentially cause a meltdown, if you are prone to that.

But it becomes unhealthy when you obsess over it and allow it to be detrimental to improving your situation. When complaining becomes a reason to allow stagnation.

It's perfectly fine to do that too, as long as you admit that it's the case and don't blame circumstances for it.
Being realistic about what factors are within your control, and those that are outside of your control is key. People tend to fall into extremes i.e "I was born this way and have no chance of ever succeeding in anything because my autism ruins everything" or "The person who diagnosed me don't know what they're talking about. Autism is just a joke diagnosis".

There is a healthy middle road where you allow yourself some leeway and room for failure, being patient with yourself without resigning into complacency.

That's how I feel about it. As long as I make progress in managing my life, becoming better at organizing myself and improving, then I can allow the little letdowns to take place without having them ruin everything and make me give up in frustration.



MissBearpolar
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05 Nov 2015, 11:40 am

Have you ever been screened for depression or anxiety? Irritability is a big time symptom of both.

Maybe you're naturally an Eeyore. Maybe your brain chemistry's off kilter and can be fixed with meds. You've nothing to lose by talking to your GP.



Neotenous Nordic
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05 Nov 2015, 11:56 am

MissBearpolar wrote:
Maybe your brain chemistry's off kilter and can be fixed with meds. You've nothing to lose by talking to your GP.


I beg to differ.

Meds messed me up and made things worse.

They should be a last resort.

What worked for me later was a change in diet and lifestyle. I don't believe chemicals are right for depression. But that's just my opinion.



Kiprobalhato
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05 Nov 2015, 3:32 pm

i understand this, my parents have tried to push meds on me before and i habitually reject them feeling i have no need for them. i believe i turned out fine.

the feeling that the world is out to get me arises when it seems all is about to go wrong and completely against what i've planned. i try to accept this feeling as natural while knowing it's wrong.



xile123
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05 Nov 2015, 8:49 pm

its not the world that's out to get me, it's the people that inhabit it.



ThisAdamGuy
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05 Nov 2015, 9:20 pm

MissBearpolar wrote:
Have you ever been screened for depression or anxiety? Irritability is a big time symptom of both.

Maybe you're naturally an Eeyore. Maybe your brain chemistry's off kilter and can be fixed with meds. You've nothing to lose by talking to your GP.


You're right, I do have depression and anxiety. I've tried the medication route before, and it worked for a while. But then I decided, on my own volition, to see how I'd do without the meds. It was rough at first, barely able to concentrate for more than a few seconds at a time, but that passed and I was able to function just fine, if not better. When my parents found out, they made me start taking the pills again, and they just made things worse. Straterra and Abilify. The Straterra made me throw up if I didn't go to sleep right after taking it (which made most of the effects wear off before I even woke up), but the Abilify kept me awake all night. In the end, I convinced my parents and my doctor that I was better off without them.


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existentialterror
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09 Nov 2015, 4:16 pm

I often feel like people are - at the very least - uncaring, even if not directly out to get me. It is my belief that I somehow invite people to care less, due to lack of social skills. Other people will not necessarily get the same treatment. I take these mishaps very seriously, as if people view me as disposable. Other people mistake this viewpoint as being paranoid, when in actuality I feel as if we aspies get the short end of the stick too often....



Darialan
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09 Nov 2015, 5:11 pm

I complain to myself every day. I do it more now, just because I'm going through some crap with medical issues, but yeah. As for whether it ties into depression, I think it ties more into social fear myself. I know it's probably not good, but imagine all too often situations where someone does some or says something to me that'd be upsetting. I often consider that people are mostly mean and I think that thinking that way is part of what keeps me to myself too much, but I also think that for the most part it's probably my energy and could be a brain chemical thing. When I have the right amount of energy I can get a bit more talky with people. I was like that at work a few times. I see the doctor Wednesday, so maybe he'll suggest a medicine. This is medical, though. Not so much mental.



Nocturnus
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10 Nov 2015, 1:44 pm

Hmm, I think we live in a Darwinian society..people can be inherently selfish or put the needs of a few before the needs of many, the banking crisis..



invisibility
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19 Nov 2015, 8:41 am

First I just want to say that it seems the field of psychiatry tries to push pills too easily instead of trying to help you see what the issues that might be causing you to feel depressed or anxious. I am not against meds but I am against meds given within the first appointment or couple till there is a good idea of what is going on so if and when meds r suggested it done so because they really think it is the best suggestion for you and just not bilndly given because you say your depressed



Joe90
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20 Nov 2015, 1:13 pm

Sometimes when I'm out in public I feel that people are deliberately pissing me off. Like one time when I was sitting upstairs on a double-decker bus, literally the WHOLE of the upstairs deck was completely empty so I was the only one sitting up there. Then, lo and behold, these two women got on the bus with about four kids between them, all under the age of 4. Then I heard them stomping up the steps, but I thought that they won't sit near me because they've got a choice of about 30 empty seats. But, yes, you guessed it, both the women pointed to the seat next to me and opposite me, ordering their kids that they're going to sit there. So I got up and moved to the back of the bus. I saw one of the women look at me, but I didn't care because I hate toddlers anyway and out of all the seats at the top deck of the bus they had to put their toddlers right next to me. Typical!


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Nocturnus
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21 Nov 2015, 5:52 am

Joe90 wrote:
Sometimes when I'm out in public I feel that people are deliberately pissing me off. Like one time when I was sitting upstairs on a double-decker bus, literally the WHOLE of the upstairs deck was completely empty so I was the only one sitting up there. Then, lo and behold, these two women got on the bus with about four kids between them, all under the age of 4. Then I heard them stomping up the steps, but I thought that they won't sit near me because they've got a choice of about 30 empty seats. But, yes, you guessed it, both the women pointed to the seat next to me and opposite me, ordering their kids that they're going to sit there. So I got up and moved to the back of the bus. I saw one of the women look at me, but I didn't care because I hate toddlers anyway and out of all the seats at the top deck of the bus they had to put their toddlers right next to me. Typical!


Yeah, women can a bit funny towards other women, it is weird..not worth expending your energy to analyse it. They were probably a bit chav.