MissBearpolar wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The deal is, in most cases, women assume the passive role of dating, whilst men assume the active role. I'd say this has to do with our history, in which men had a lot more rights than women, and even a certain degree of power over them, so the men got to choose the women they were interested in. Now, with the gender equality gap sealing up, women have much more power over who they're interested in dating and who they're not.
Anyways, like I said, guys assume the active dating role, whilst girls assume the passive one. Each role has its benefits and disadvantages. For instance, men get to choose which women they want to chase, but they run the risk of rejection, whereas women don't get to choose which men approach them, but they have total control over who they choose to date out of the men showing interest in them, and they don't generally need to risk rejection.
At the moment, we're living in an era of extreme narcissism, where appearance is getting more and more foregrounded and valuable. I believe we're becoming more shallow as a society, and as a result, many young women tend to only be interested in the most attractive guy they can find. Women who are attractive by western beauty standards tend to have a wide range of male pursuers, so they can get away with choosing the most attractive guys that are interested in them.
Even some less attractive girls will feel their worth as a potential dating match skyrocket because they're being bombarded by sexual messages from "higher value" guys who want nothing more than a root. They often misinterpret this information and believe that these men would be interested in a relationship with them, so they feel more romantically valuable than they should, and are not interested in dating less attractive men. This makes dating as a less attractive man incredibly difficult.
In the US, 2/3 of adults are overweight/obese and 85% of adults are or have been married to a person of the opposite sex (gay marriage wasn't legal during the last census). Rather a lot of marriages and second marriages result in kids.
Clearly, rather a lot of those unlikely to be deemed among the "most attractive" are getting dates if 85% of US adults get married at some point.
It is worth considering whether YOU are having trouble getting dates versus it being harder in general for guys to get dates than girls.
Your contention that it's harder for guys to get dates doesn't statistically work out -- around 10% of the population's gay, equal #s men/women, thus cancelling each other out -- so every straight guy goes on a date with a straight girl. Equal numbers of men + women who are straight get dates.
You see, this is what I don't get every time a squeaky wheel of a person comes onto the scene and is like "it's soo hard to date/men never find dates!"
Ummm, are we missing something here?
The VAST majority of people find dates.
Most people are dating/married/taken.
Just because you personally happen to be in the group of "undesirables" doesn't mean it's because
"life is unfair"
Most guys are SOOO entitled and think that just by breathing and existing they deserve to be dated.
No, no not really; it doesn't work that way.
Now, is it FAIR that just because you are on the spectrum that you naturally get cast as an "undesirable" as whether male or female?
NO NOT AT ALL, but when you literally make up maybe like 1% of the population, and the rest of society naturally finds you strange and rather distasteful... well, you're going to have a hard time about it- no matter what.
And no it isn't nice or great, but that's life.
06 Nov 2015, 10:51 pm
