My dad is saying I'm "ruining my chances"

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MonsterCrack
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11 Nov 2015, 7:34 pm

At my alternative school, I often get dizzy due to anxiety, and because my psychiatrist got me off of the xanax, and onto buspar, I have often had to take xanax because my mom said I still need it (she's a nurse), and so we told the doctor, and she said to increase my dosage of buspar, but my mom didn't let her, so the dosage stayed the same, and now I'm taking xanax again.... i told my dad that i had a school administrator call my mom and ask her to pick me up from school after school (not during school), due to anxiety, and he was going on and on about how he doesn't buy that I'm getting dizzy from stress, and how I'm just coming up with excuses, and how he's been recording my behavior since I was in pre-K, and how I'm "ruining my chances to go back to my old school" and I asked him, "what do you want me to tell you so we can have a normal conversation?" and he said, "at this point, nothing.... okay, sinan, i dont think we have anything to gain by continuing to talk to each other.... okay bye." in the past, i would make up the excuse that i was "feeling sick" to get out of doing school work, and so I could go home, so that's what he means... was he wrong?



eric76
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11 Nov 2015, 7:56 pm

So why aren't you at your old school?



MonsterCrack
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11 Nov 2015, 7:58 pm

eric76 wrote:
So why aren't you at your old school?
I would always get anxious at my old school, and either make up excuses to leave class or go home, or try to escape...



specialsauce
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13 Nov 2015, 2:26 pm

Well if you were crying wolf in the past, it's understandable that he doesn't take you seriously now, but on the other hand, he must know you're on medication? I think he could be more understanding, is there some way you could get your mum to talk to him?

Either way, I wouldn't worry that he says you're ruining your chances, as long as you're genuinely doing your best to stay in school and stay focused, there's no reason to worry. If you can't get back into your old school then you'll just have to find some other opportunity and it might be just as good or even better. Do you even want to go back to your old school or is that just what he wants? Sounds to me like you didn't really like it that much.

Maybe he sees that on paper it's a better school, but if you hate it there, it's not really better for you.



MonsterCrack
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13 Nov 2015, 4:14 pm

specialsauce wrote:
Well if you were crying wolf in the past, it's understandable that he doesn't take you seriously now, but on the other hand, he must know you're on medication? I think he could be more understanding, is there some way you could get your mum to talk to him?

Either way, I wouldn't worry that he says you're ruining your chances, as long as you're genuinely doing your best to stay in school and stay focused, there's no reason to worry. If you can't get back into your old school then you'll just have to find some other opportunity and it might be just as good or even better. Do you even want to go back to your old school or is that just what he wants? Sounds to me like you didn't really like it that much.

Maybe he sees that on paper it's a better school, but if you hate it there, it's not really better for you.
My mom and dad are divorced, and they don't talk. My dad blocked my mom's phone number, and I DO want to go back to my old school, but my dad claims I can't at this rate...



specialsauce
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13 Nov 2015, 6:32 pm

There's still time to prove him wrong.

I'm sure he wants you to succeed, he's just trying to give you some motivation.



Waterfalls
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13 Nov 2015, 6:46 pm

He may be worried for you, feel helpless to fix things, and really want to do right by you. I think you might think about what do you want from him that would help you focus and get work done, then tell him what he could do (like maybe speak calmly and kindly and you will try to pull yourself together to work on homework or something like that). If he means well and is frustrated and you suggest something reasonable and he sees it work that should get him to do it more.

I should add though sometimes if a parent had a lot of trouble with school they feel like they are reliving agony. They aren't, this is about you, but sometimes people have trouble seeing that. Do your best but don't be angry with yourself if it isn't enough to make things better.



0_equals_true
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14 Nov 2015, 9:43 am

Ok anxiety I know something about. What are they doing besides drugs to help you? have you been offered anything like CBT, or counseling?

I think you need to talk to someone other then you parents. They are well meaning I'm sure, but aren't necessarily the best people to give this kind of advice.

A nurse whist they have some knowledge isn't qualified to prescribe drugs.



MonsterCrack
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14 Nov 2015, 11:43 am

0_equals_true wrote:
Ok anxiety I know something about. What are they doing besides drugs to help you? have you been offered anything like CBT, or counseling?

I think you need to talk to someone other then you parents. They are well meaning I'm sure, but aren't necessarily the best people to give this kind of advice.

A nurse whist they have some knowledge isn't qualified to prescribe drugs.
they aren't doing anything besides medicine to help me with my anxiety..... and my doctor gave my mom power to change my dosages....



0_equals_true
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14 Nov 2015, 11:58 am

MonsterCrack wrote:
they aren't doing anything besides medicine to help me with my anxiety..... and my doctor gave my mom power to change my dosages....


Ok who else can you talk to about this?