The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
20 Nov 2015, 5:24 am
20 Nov 2015, 5:29 am
20 Nov 2015, 1:45 pm
20 Nov 2015, 2:53 pm
21 Nov 2015, 2:56 am
21 Nov 2015, 3:04 am
Human beings are hard wired to generalize.
Human beings are conditioned to generalise.
Evidence, please?
Generalizing is a big part of the human learning process and I've observed that people do it unconsciously unless they're specifically taught not to do so. The only way to avoid generalizing and treat people as individuals is when you have the ability to read people and intuitively assess what they're likely to respond to and infer how they think.
The trouble is, most people are strangers and you simply won't have the opportunity to get to know them well enough to learn what makes them tick. You simply have to follow a set of rules and be able to adapt your response when someone's behavior doesn't fit the model you have in your brain.
Many people aren't actually aware of why they respond to things they way they do and what their motivations are because they cannot be bothered to really examine themselves so asking them to explain themselves is not going to get you anywhere. And people also will consciously conceal their motives and what makes them tick in order to protect themselves from manipulators.
EVERYONE generalizes, but some people are better at concealing it. Openly promulgating generalizations produces a negative response from people....And that's a generalization.
21 Nov 2015, 3:56 am
That's a perfect example of black and white thinking right here. What I said (repeatedly) is that generalisation shouldn't be THE ONLY method one uses, and some read it as "generalisations should never be used" 
Yes, generalisation is a useful, sometimes even necessary tool. These days social interactions and rules became quite complex and refined, including significant cultural differences, and I see very often huge misunderstandings and conflicts resulting from one or both parties making assumptions about each others values, wants and preferences based on "most people are like that".
I have no problems treating people as individuals from the start. I try to put aside whatever ideas I might have already formed about their gender, nationality, age and so on, and encourage them to talk while paying close attention to their body language and facial expressions (this can be learned) and the general way they react and talk to me. It's a good place to start. The devil is in the details and this method worked very well for me along the years in assessing my possible compatibility with someone, both as a friend or a lover. It also proved very useful in avoiding what I used to consider inexplicable or unjustified hostility or other negative reactions towards me.
Now, before the damn captcha gives me a stroke, I'm off to enjoy my weekend and wish you the same 
21 Nov 2015, 4:02 am
Yes, generalisation is a useful, sometimes even necessary tool. These days social interactions and rules became quite complex and refined, including significant cultural differences, and I see very often huge misunderstandings and conflicts resulting from one or both parties making assumptions about each others values, wants and preferences based on "most people are like that".
I have no problems treating people as individuals from the start. I try to put aside whatever ideas I might have already formed about their gender, nationality, age and so on, and encourage them to talk while paying close attention to their body language and facial expressions (this can be learned) and the general way they react and talk to me. It's a good place to start. The devil is in the details and this method worked very well for me along the years in assessing my possible compatibility with someone, both as a friend or a lover. It also proved very useful in avoiding what I used to consider inexplicable or unjustified hostility or other negative reactions towards me.
Now, before the damn captcha gives me a stroke, I'm off to enjoy my weekend and wish you the same
Generalizations aren't binary absolutes; and that's what many idealists don't understand. Most =/= all. It's all about the fuzzy logic.
If >> 50% of people with certain traits tend to behave a certain way, then you can generalize and safely assume that they will be like that until you encounter an exception. Remember that just because something is possible doesn't mean it is likely. You assume the most likely possibility but you realize that it's not a guarantee.
The way to get what you want from people is to pay less attention to what they say and more attention to what they respond to. And yes, this works well for men with women and for women with men.
22 Nov 2015, 12:45 pm
Yep we want to fix things! 
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,125
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
23 Nov 2015, 7:59 pm
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Random Women |
22 Apr 2024, 12:11 pm |
| Name five things that you won't eat. |
13 Feb 2024, 11:10 pm |
| International Women's Day 2024 |
09 Mar 2024, 3:32 pm |
| Reasons women do not date us! |
15 Apr 2024, 4:05 pm |
