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Kitty4670
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18 Nov 2015, 10:20 pm

I don't care about Thanksgiving anymore & Christmas is HARD for me. I think I just don't like my family too much, they are controlling, demanding, selfish & too busy for me. And they DON'T understand me.


Does everyone here love the holidays?



Jacoby
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18 Nov 2015, 11:03 pm

I don't get much out of it really, I can't really drink anymore so it is really mind numbing. It's just me, my siblings, and parents now so it isn't too weird to be all together. There is this kind of sad pressure of having some sort of observance and family tradition but we just suck I guess. It's hard for me to feel like it is the holiday season here in the desert, I got palm trees outside my door the only thing that really changes for me is the date when I get together with my family. When I lived by myself and visited much less frequently it meant more to me, be alone makes you appreciate certain people a lot more.



lostonearth35
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18 Nov 2015, 11:13 pm

The holidays (by which I mean Christmas) can cause a lot of unnecessary stress on people, and it's bad enough if you're NT and/or don't have mental illness or seasonal depression, but when you're on the spectrum it's like, does it even have to come once a year?

My mother said that even when I was a child I would have meltdowns every year and back then she didn't understand why, but since my diagnosis she thinks she does understand now. We even talked earlier this week and decided it was for the best if I don't get gifts for my nieces, nephews, or even my brother this year because they live away and might not even come home for the holidays, knowing what to get them is difficult, and if I send them gift cards I don't know if they actually use them, they get enough junk from their parents and other family members, and it's too expensive. Not just for me but for them as well, like my brother who is only working part-time right now. I'm glad my mom and I had this talk. I feel a lot better and less guilty. In fact I feel like a giant weight was just lifted off an ingrown toenail. :)



Earthling
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18 Nov 2015, 11:20 pm

I'm ok with the holidays.

Christmas:
Hmm... if it's just me and my parents, it's rather pleasing. We usually eat some kind of poultry together while listening to Christmas music. And not much talk.
I neither buy gifts nor expect gifts! But most the the time I still get something small. I feel kinda spoilt in that way, lol.

New year's:
Sit on computer. Wait for shortly before fireworks start, some cheers, then watch fireworks together. Go back on computer. Neat.

Family gatherings... when I was younger I hated family gatherings and tried to stay at home. Parents didn't tolerate that, so I suffered a lot at them.
Nowadays I find them slightly entertaining (still feels like a chore before I'm there, though). Sometimes I don't go because I don't have to.
In the past some family members tried to guilt trip me to come, but didn't work on me, heh. 8)



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18 Nov 2015, 11:30 pm

Holidays, to me, is the time to spend ALONE. I actually wrote a blog about it. Then I was forced to go to someone's house, which I had to sneak away from after 30 minutes...



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19 Nov 2015, 2:00 am

it has become a breeding ground for consumerism, albeit a cozy one full of sugary delights and drunkenness.


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19 Nov 2015, 5:35 am

I usually dislike Christmas, when I was a kid I hated it as my family had to open gifts at the same time and in front of each other so we could scream and say thank you. Now I'm an adult I don't have to any of that stuff and it's so much better now. Last year it was just me and my Dad, probably the best Christmas I've ever had but I've heard he didn't like it so he's spending this years at his new girlfriends, though I don't mind that because I've got my dog with me.



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19 Nov 2015, 6:51 pm

I didn't really care for the holidays when I lived with my parents except for the food & the gifts/money at xMas. I never had a close relationship with my parents thou & I'm not close to the rest of my family either so seeing them extended family wasn't that big a deal to me. The holidays made me more depressed when I had depression. They don't make me depressed now that I live with my girlfriend but I'm still not a big fan of holidays thou Cass likes em & getting together with family.


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Kitty4670
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19 Nov 2015, 7:02 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
The holidays (by which I mean Christmas) can cause a lot of unnecessary stress on people, and it's bad enough if you're NT and/or don't have mental illness or seasonal depression, but when you're on the spectrum it's like, does it even have to come once a year?

My mother said that even when I was a child I would have meltdowns every year and back then she didn't understand why, but since my diagnosis she thinks she does understand now. We even talked earlier this week and decided it was for the best if I don't get gifts for my nieces, nephews, or even my brother this year because they live away and might not even come home for the holidays, knowing what to get them is difficult, and if I send them gift cards I don't know if they actually use them, they get enough junk from their parents and other family members, and it's too expensive. Not just for me but for them as well, like my brother who is only working part-time right now. I'm glad my mom and I had this talk. I feel a lot better and less guilty. In fact I feel like a giant weight was just lifted off an ingrown toenail. :)



Thanksgiving & Christmas have unnecessary stress in my family. I used to ask why Thanksgiving & Christmas are one month apart, we eat the same food, so sickening.



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19 Nov 2015, 7:10 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
Thanksgiving & Christmas have unnecessary stress in my family. I used to ask why Thanksgiving & Christmas are one month apart, we eat the same food, so sickening.


Luckily I can eat the same food all the time--I bought a little 4-1/2 lb turkey breast to cook next week, along with the 3rd pumpkin pie I've purchased in the past month :D



Kitty4670
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19 Nov 2015, 8:23 pm

FizzyOrange wrote:
Holidays, to me, is the time to spend ALONE. I actually wrote a blog about it. Then I was forced to go to someone's house, which I had to sneak away from after 30 minutes...



I love spending the holidays alone too.



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19 Nov 2015, 8:41 pm

I love the holidays on the rare occasions that it's just me and my immediate family (my best friend is welcome, too). We have a really good time! However, I hate when my aunts and uncles and cousins and whoever else decides to visit. They make it miserable, and I spend most of the time in my bedroom or sitting silently on the sofa. If I have to see family on holidays, I prefer to visit them rather than have them come visit me because at least I can choose when to leave instead of having to wait for them to leave.



Last edited by Quill on 19 Nov 2015, 8:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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19 Nov 2015, 8:55 pm

If I can't be an eight-year old kid again, then I want nothing to do with Christmas.


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BTDT
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19 Nov 2015, 9:19 pm

Spending during the holidays is great if you can afford it and know exactly what you want. Lots of stuff goes on sale--lots of great deals on quality power tools.



Kiprobalhato
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20 Nov 2015, 2:31 am

Fnord wrote:
If I can't be an eight-year old kid again, then I want nothing to do with Christmas.


*zaps you with an arcane magic bolt, you revert back to eight years of age*


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Kitty4670
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20 Nov 2015, 8:29 am

I wish my family understand not everyone love the holidays or can't handle being in the house with all your family members. When I am with them, I'm struggling to talk to them. Why is it if one of my cousins is allowed not to come to family parties then why should they want to force me to come? And if I don't come then they try to make me feel guilty. NO family should force them to come to parties.